Building Relationships

071: Stepparenting From Love // Amanda Louder

Stepparenting From Love

I think we all know that parenting can be hard– but from what I’ve heard, step-parenting is even harder. Think about some of the struggles you face with your children– maybe it’s dealing with sassy attitudes or figuring out the rules and technology expectations in your home. Then imagine trying to navigate all of that with children who also have another parent or set of parents and another home they live in part of the time. I can only imagine how complicated that must get and how many big emotions are involved.

Today’s guest, Amanda Louder–a life coach, podcaster, mother of three, and stepmother of two–gives three takeaways that have helped her navigate and embrace her blended family:

1) Treat your step children as equals to your own children: give them the same amount of love, responsibility, and discipline

2) Understand that he was their dad first

3) Try to find a new family culture

Amanda has such a positive outlook as she strives to “live from love” in the relationships she has with all of her children.

 

Show Notes 

Instagram: @amandaloudercoaching

Website: www.amandaloudercoaching.com

Podcast: Live from Love

“To the Mom Who Doesn’t Feel Like a Mother, Yet”– blog post by Katie Davis Majors

“Parenting After Divorce” online Conference–sign up soon because it ends March 15th!

raisingblendedfamilies.com

 

Listen to this episode

068: Healing After Betrayal in Your Marriage // Mika Perry of ‘Good to Be Home’ Podcast

They say love is patient; love is kind. But the truth is, sometimes it’s not EASY for love to be either of those things, especially when you are facing a devastating betrayal.

“Betrayal” can be discovering a spouse’s affair or addiction, learning that he/she has not been honest in their business dealings and has put the family’s well-being in jeopardy, and many other situations. You are faced with shattering grief, and often don’t know where to turn for support because the trial is so personal and involves someone else. It can feel so isolating.

Mika Perry—a mother, blogger, and professional organizer—has been there. In 2012 she discovered that her husband, Russ, was having an affair. Over the years since, she and Russ have worked toward healing and now openly share their story to help those suffering in silence.

Today on the show, Mika shares her experience of what life after betrayal looked like for her and how it ultimately led to a life of truth, abundance, faith, and purpose.

This is an incredibly personal and tender topic, and whether or not you choose to stay married after a betrayal, this episode will bring you hope. Please pass the episode along to someone who might need to know they are not alone.

Show Notes:

Mika’s Instagram: @mikaperry

Mika’s website: mikaperry.com

-The blog post where Mika first opened up about the affair:

Mika and Russ’ podcast “Good to be Home.” Episode 2 is where Mika and Russ share their story

Russ Perry’s book, The Sober Entrepreneur: starts with affair and goes through the process of getting sober and building a business.

If you are struggling with betrayal trauma, here are some resources:

Bloom for Women, an online community. Dr. Skinner’s course, “Rebuilding Trust After Sexual Betrayal” or find them on Instagram @bloomforwomen

Addorecovery.com -Utah based support; visit their website for locations and more information or find them on Instagram: @addo.recovery

Caitlin Olson, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, specializes in addiction recovery and betrayal trauma. You can find her on Instagram: @caitlinolsenmft

Sariah Hoffman, certified yoga therapist, of @backpocketyoga on Instagram

Ashlynn and Coby on Instagram: @ashlynnandcoby and their podcast “The Betrayed, The Addicted, The Expert” features 3 different perspectives on topics dealing with relationships, recovery, betrayal and addiction.

Rachel and Jenae specialize in betrayal trauma (BT)- find them on Instagram: @couchtalktime

Dorothy Maryon of Life Star in Salt Lake. They also have a St. George clinic.

Center for Hope and Healing in Lehi, UT

Betrayal Trauma Recovery btr.org

Books:

What Can I Do About Me? by Rhyll Ann Croshaw

Treating Trauma from Sexual Betrayal by Kevin Skinner

067: How to Accept when your Spouse Doesn’t Speak your Love Language

3 Strategies for Accepting & Respecting How Your Spouse Shows Love

Do you and your spouse speak the same love languages? My husband, Ryan, and I do *not.*

I am a words girl. I love them, I need them. My husband is a man of few words. He craves quality time.

There have been times in my marriage when I have resented that he doesn’t show me love in the “right” way, but in the past few years, I’ve found contentment and respect for how he shows love.

Listen to today’s episode for three strategies to love your spouse (and feel loved by your spouse), just as they are.

Show Notes

The 5 Love Languages” by Gary Chapman

Online quiz to discover your love language: https://www.5lovelanguages.com/profile/

Simple Ways to Speak your Partner’s Love Language” with Celeste Davis of Marriage Laboratory blog and Marriage Theraoke podcast

What Happened to my Sex Drive, and How Do I Get It Back?” with Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife

 

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065: 3 Easy Valentines Traditions for the Whole Family (Encore!) // Sarah McKenna of Bombshell Bling

The first Valentines Day that my husband and I were dating, he showed up on my doorstep with flowers and a clue that started me on a scavenger hunt to romantic places all around our college town.

Seven years later, on our first Valentines Day as parents, he showed up on our doorstep with…a toilet plunger.  (You’ll have to listen to the episode to get the full story!)

Yes, becoming parents can definitely affect the romance of Valentines Day a bit–but there’s no reason why this “holiday of love” has to be limited to just you and your spouse.  February 14th can be a day to celebrate family love as well!

In this episode, my amazing sister Sarah McKenna, from the craft blog Bombshell Bling, shares three totally doable and super fun Valentines traditions for the entire family.

1) Secret Cupids: https://www.bombshellbling.com/secret-cupids-valentines-day-family-tradition/

2) Heart Attacks: https://www.bombshellbling.com/heart-attack/

3) Love Letters to your Kids: https://www.bombshellbling.com/mushy-love-letters-a-february-tradition/

I’d love to hear if you give one of these a try. Come say hi on my Instagram, 3in30podcast and let me know if you have other Valentines Traditions you do with your family!

Show Notes 

Sarah’s website: https://www.bombshellbling.com

Sarah’s instagram: @bombshellbling

“32 Ways to Surprise Your Sweetie” by Rachel Nielson: https://www.bombshellbling.com/things-for-hubby-valentines-day/

*We are so thrilled to have Chatbooks as a sponsor this month for

3 in 30!*

Download the app or visit chatbooks.com to claim your FREE book (up to $10 in value) by using code “3in30” at checkout!

063: Mothering Different Ages and Stages: Tips from a Mother of Seven // Vanessa Quigley, Co-Founder of Chatbooks

It’s time to pick up the kids from school, but the baby is napping.

You need to go to grocery shopping but can’t bear the thought of wrestling everyone into the car and through the store.

You want to plan a vacation to spend quality time with your older kids, but it wouldn’t be ideal for the babies.

Do any of these scenarios sound familiar? Beyond babies’ sleep schedules and toddlers tantrums, motherhood manages to get trickier as our children grow into different stages— especially in families with big age gaps between siblings. In this episode, Vanessa Quigley, co-founder of Chatbooks, gives us a glimpse into what it is like mothering seven children and juggling the needs of kids in different stages of life.

Vanessa advises moms to, as Elsa would say, “Let it go!” (as we can’t be everything to everyone); divide and conquer; and seek help through trades or hiring someone. I know you will love Vanessa’s sense of humor, warm encouragement, and down-to-earth wisdom in this interview.

**We are so honored to announce Chatbooks as a sponsor for 3 in 30.**

-Download the app to get start making your photo book or check out their website: https://chatbooks.com/

-Don’t forget to use code “3in30” for a FREE book, up to $10 in value!

Show Notes

-Hilarious Chatbooks commercial with Lisa Valentine Clark: https://bit.ly/2dXTHut

-There are a few tickets left to my workshop in Twin Falls, Idaho on Saturday, February 9th.  I’d love to meet you!  3in30podcast.com/workshops

 

-Sign up to receive a copy of our monthly newsletter with ALL of the takeaways from this months’ episodes: 3in30podcast.com/takeaways

 

-Find me on Instagram and say hi! https://www.instagram.com/3in30podcast/