Building Relationships

038: How to Get your Teenagers to Talk to You (and it Starts When They are Young) // Tony Overbay, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

A therapist explains three concrete strategies we can use to help our teenagers know that they can trust us and talk to us

He’s baaccck!  Our favorite male guest is back on the podcast today teaching us how to talk to our children in a way that fosters trust and communication–so they know they can talk to us into their teenage years and beyond.

Tony Overbay is a Licensed Family and Marriage Therapist and a father of four young adults, so he has professional and personal experience with this topic.  Whether you are currently parenting teenagers, or you will be parenting teenagers in a few years, there is something for you in this episode!

Listen in to learn how to truly…

1) Invite open and honest communication, no matter what

2) Listen with empathy and recognize emotional bids (EFT)

3) Follow up to let your children know that their thoughts matter to you

Show Notes

-Tony’s first episode on 3 in 30, “How to Praise Your Child, Even When It Feels Like There is Nothing to Praise”: http://3in30podcast.com/praise/

-Tony’s website: tonyoverbay.com

-Tony’s podcast, The Virtual Couch: http://www.tonyoverbay.com/category/podcast/

Tony’s top parenting book recommendation: Transforming the Difficult Child: The Nurtured-Heart Approach, https://amzn.to/2ucXf3C

-Emotionally-Focused Therapy, Sue Johnson: http://drsuejohnson.com/emotionally-focused-therapy-2/what-is-eft/

 

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037: Teaching Children to Work Without Being a Drill Sergeant // Danielle Porter

Teaching Children to Work Without Being a Drill Sergeant Danielle Porter

Danielle Porter and I have been friends for about six years, ever since I started working with the organization, Power of Moms.  During that time, I have seen her go from a mother of three young children to a mother of six young children (her oldest is about eleven), and I have admired how fully she has committed herself to learning how to be the best mother she can be.  Danielle is truly deliberate about every decision she makes in her home, and she has tried out many systems and strategies over the years. I benefit from hearing her advice as her family and her wisdom grows, and today she is going to share some of that with us on the podcast!

I asked her to teach us how to teach our children to work–and I was honestly surprised by her takeaways.  But her words also resonated as truth in my heart and reminded me that a little love, patience, and perspective goes a long way.  Listen to this wise mama’s words, and let me know what you think

 

Show Notes

-Power of Moms’ article with cleaning games, “Keeping It Clean”: https://powerofmoms.com/keeping-it-clean/

-Last week’s episode, “Momming Like a Boss”: http://3in30podcast.com/momming-like-a-boss/

-Candi Kidd’s episode, “Getting Unmotivated Kids to Help”: http://3in30podcast.com/unmotivated-kids-to-help/

-Tony Overbay episode, “How to Praise Your Child When It Feels Like There is Nothing to Praise”: http://3in30podcast.com/praise/

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030: How to Coach your Children through their Big Emotions // Georgia Anderson of KnowHowMom.com

3 Steps for coaching your children through their big emotions

Our little kids come with big emotions—too big, it sometimes seems, for their little bodies. And sometimes (often?) those feelings just come bursting out in bizarre and irrational behaviors.

As parents, this can bring out the bizarre and irrational in us as well, despite our best intentions to stay calm and level-headed.

Today on the podcast, we have a parenting expert who is going to teach us how to coach our children through their emotions, so we can keep ahold of our own.

Georgia Anderson of knowhowmom.com is a wife, mother, stepmother, mother-in-law, and grandmother to 28 people she adores. She has taught parenting classes for three decades and is a Certified Active Parenting Instructor and a Gottman Trained Educator.

In this episode, she walks us through three of the steps to “emotion coach” our children through their big emotions:

 

1) Notice emotions when they are small.

2) Put words to emotions.

3) Set limits and problem solve.

 

There are so many gems and insights in this episode, as she walks me through a specific scenario when my six-year-old son got extremely angry.  I think it will be helpful for you to hear me coached on how I can coach him.  I have applied these steps in the weeks since this interview was recorded, and it has honestly changed my relationship with my son.  Please listen!

Notes

Georgia’s website: knowhowmom.com

Georgia’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/knowhowmomtips/

Upcoming Emotion Coaching Workshop with Georgia: http://www.knowhowmom.com/class/emotion-coaching-for-parents-2/

Book Recommendation: Feelings Buried Alive Never Die by Karol K. Truman

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029: Making the Most of Everyday Moments to Connect with Our Children // April Perry of Power of Moms

Making the Most of Everyday Moments to Connect with our Children April Perry of Power of Moms

When her mother was dying of Alzheimers, April Perry felt an urgency to write a book about her–to capture in words the beautiful memories and lessons of her life.

Each Thursday, she would spend the day with her mom and dad, and she would read them the latest chapter from her book, reliving with them how much her mother had shaped her.  April says those Thursdays were some of the most sacred days of her life.

Today on the podcast, we will talk about three chapters from April’s book, which capture lessons about how to connect with our kids during everyday moments.

This episode will remind you that you don’t need to do more as a mother–you simply need to “lean in” to those mundane, everyday moments with your children that are actually making a profound difference to them.

**To enter a giveaway for a copy of April’s book, simply share a memory of your mother on social media this week and tag @3in30podcast, or send it to me in an email at 3in30podcast@gmail.com.

Show Notes

“Your Children Want YOU!” article from Power of Moms: https://powerofmoms.com/your-children-want-you/

Thursdays with Zoe (April’s book): https://www.amazon.com/Thursdays-Zoe-Unforgettable-Stories-Alzheimers/dp/1537501275

“The Best Nine Minutes” article from Power of Moms: https://powerofmoms.com/the-nine-minutes-that-have-the-greatest-impact/?tag=powofmom-20

“Five Words That People In Your Life Need to Hear” by Christy Wright: https://www.businessboutique.com/2017/01/five-words-that-people-in-your-life-need-to-hear/

April’s previous podcast on 3 in 30, “Getting Out of Overwhelm: A Step-by-Step Process”: http://3in30podcast.com/overwhelm/

 

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028: How to Raise Confident Children // Marilyn Faulkner

A mother of five, grandmother of nine, shares her best advice on raising confident children

Marilyn Faulkner raised five rockstar children, helped her husband start multiple companies, got a Masters degree when she was 45, and published three books (with her next book due for publication in July). She spreads wisdom and laughter everywhere she goes, and she shares some of both on this week’s episode.  (I dare you to listen to the entire 30 minutes without laughing aloud.)

She is the mother of Alison Faulkner from TheAlisonShow.com and Andrea Williams from TubbyTodd.com.  She also has three incredibly smart and successful sons who may or may not be able to keep up with their sisters in a dance contest.  I’m waiting to see that.

I met Marilyn at a branding workshop last November and immediately loved her.  So when a podcast listener asked me to get a grandma on the podcast who could give us some “looking back” advice, I knew just who to ask.  I wanted someone who would give us more than the trite “enjoy every minute” advice that we so often hear, and I knew Marilyn would deliver some true wisdom.

This is one of my favorite episodes to date, so listen in as she teaches us how to raise confident children by…

 

1) Limiting our criticisms. “You can’t build a wall by taking off bricks.”

2) Talking to our kids like they are already the intelligent adults we hope they will become.

3) Living full lives of our own, and modeling happiness for our children.

 

Show Notes

-Marilyn Faulkner’s books:

Back to the Best Books: How the Classics Can Change Your Life

The User-Friendly Book of Mormon: Timeless Truths for Today’s Challenges

The User-Friendly Old Testament: A Modern Approach to Ancient Scripture

-Resources referenced in the episode:

Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey

Podcast episode about specific ways to praise your children with Tony Overbay: http://3in30podcast.com/praise/

Miss Manners’ Guide to Rearing Perfect Children by Judith Martin

Alison’s Build an Awesome Brand Workshop: https://alisonsbrandschool.com/workshop/

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