Finding Joy

Ep. 012 How to Stop Being Mean to Yourself: 3 of the Best Tools I Learned in Counseling

Three strategies to stop negative self-talk

Five years ago, I realized that I needed to go to counseling.  I had been coping with stress and heartache through both undereating and overeating for almost ten years, and my negative thoughts about myself had become debilitating and all-consuming.

I sought treatment from an outpatient eating disorder clinic, and I fully expected my counselor to teach me how to control my eating; instead, my counselor went to the root of the problem and taught me how to control my thinking.

I learned that destructive behaviors (such as eating disorders) are part of a three-part cycle: we have a negative thought about ourselves, we then feel a negative emotion about ourselves, and we then cope with that feeling through a destructive behavior.  In order to stop this cycle, we must have strategies to stop the negative self-talk that starts it all in the first place!

Whether or not you’ve ever struggled with an eating disorder, I think this episode will benefit you.  I share three of the best tools that I learned in counseling:

 

1) Reject “filtered thinking” and embrace “big-picture thinking.”

2) Talk to yourself the way you would talk to your best friend, sister, or daughter.

3) Use “coping statements” to help  you re-center and stay calm in moments when you might spiral into despair.

 

I truly believe that almost no topic is more important for women and mothers–so I hope you will listen, and let me know what you think in the comments.

Additional Resources

Unhealthy Stress or Habits? Break the Cycle (podcast with Power of Moms): https://powerofmoms.com/unhealthy-stress/

Listening to and Loving your Body through Intuitive Eating (podcast with Power of Moms): https://powerofmoms.com/intuitive-eating/

It Is What It Is” (article with a list of coping strategies): https://powerofmoms.com/it-is-what-it-is/

The Surprising Way I Confronted my Eating Disorder” (full narrative therapy): https://powerofmoms.com/eating-disorder/

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Ep. 007 How to Create a More Peaceful Home // Cate Johnson

Ep 007 How to Create a More Peaceful Home

“At any given point, you can say, ‘This is not how the story is going to end.'”

Cate Johnson was a mother of two young children with a big, beautiful home in the country.  From the outside, it looked like she was “living the dream,” but inside, she felt like she was drowning.

She craved peace and connection with her children–but instead she felt only chaos and overwhelm. She spent hours cleaning her big home while her kids watched television. She felt heartbroken that she was not the mother that she had always wanted to be.

In this powerful episode, Cate shares three small but significant changes that transformed their home environment:

1) Using the five senses to create a haven of peace.

2) Designating a “kid of the day” to eliminate fighting.

3) Structuring their family time around rhythms to create stability.

Cate is now a fulfilled, empowered mother, and she has a message of hope for all of us: We can have more peaceful homes, no matter where we live.

Show Notes

Simplicity Parenting by Kim John Payne

Lullaby Playlist

Whole Family Rhythms

Cate Johnson Quote--FINAL 3 in 30 Podcast 2

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Ep. 004 How to Stop Yelling at your Kids // Ralphie Jacobs of Simply on Purpose

How to Stop Yelling at your Kids with Ralphie Jacobs // 3 in 30 Podcast

“The prerequisite to all other parenting principles is to be in control of yourself as the parent. And this is the major struggle for parents. They feel like they are standing on the sidelines helpless, and their children are running rompus around them and all over them…But this can easily be changed. We should not feel like victims in our own households.  We can find joy and delight in working in our own homes.”

Ralphie Jacobs is a mother to four girls, ages 3-14, and the founder of the popular Instagram account @simplyonpurpose.  Her account has experienced incredible growth from when it started just a year ago because so many mothers are thirsting for her wise, compassionate, and positive parenting advice.

It was an honor to have her on the show, and in this episode she will teach us how to stop yelling at our kids by being in control of ourselves.  But how do we do that, especially in the moment when anger is building?  Ralphie explains how we must:

  1. Listen to the right story
  2. Use time to our advantage
  3. Model being happy

Listen in as Ralphie and I dive into these principles a little more deeply and give practical advice of how to apply them in your home.

As always, I would love to hear from you!  Let me know in the comments which strategies stay with you the most and what works with your children.

Quote from Ralphie

3 in 30 Podcast for Moms

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Ep. 002 Easy Ways to Capture Memories of Motherhood // Laura Webb

3 Easy Ways to Capture Memories of Motherhood // 3in30 Podcast for Moms

This week my little sister Laura Webb, a mother of two young children and a Chemistry and Math teacher–“not a writer!” she is quick to point out–will share her ideas for easy ways that we can fit record-keeping into our busy lives as moms.

Listen in as Laura details ideas for how to…

  • Use technology to help us capture memories
  • Find routine times or triggers to remind us to journal
  • Remember that something is better than nothing when it comes to documenting our lives

What are your best ideas for keeping records of your motherhood experience?  Please share them in the comments or on Instagram @3in30podcast.  We want to learn from you!

Webb Family // 3 in 30 Podcast

Show Notes

Chatbooks

Qeepsake: The Text Message Baby Journal

One-Sentence Journals on Amazon

How to Journal as a Busy Mom (Rachel’s article for Power of Moms)

Photography

Feature Image: Alexis Johnson Photography (Eagle River, Alaska)

Webb Family Photo: Brynmarae Photography  (Denver, Colorado)

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Ep. 00 Meet Rachel & Learn the Why of the 3 in 30 Podcast

Meet Rachel Nielson and Learn the Why of the Podcast

Rachel Nielson // 3in30 Podcast for MomsIn the middle of a rainy summer night, just over six years ago, I became a mother.

My experience was a little different than most mothers—I wasn’t the one in the hospital bed that night. I was standing beside my son’s brave birthmother as Noah came into the world.

After years of failed infertility treatments and adoption possibilities that didn’t go through, I was finally a mother.

I often tell our son, who we named Noah Atticus, that he was our first miracle.Rachel Nielson, Host of 3in30 Podcast for Moms

Three years later, this time on a hot summer morning, we were blessed a second time. After going through Invitro Fertilization and an incredibly difficult pregnancy, my second little miracle was placed in my arms.  

Sally Grace was bruised and battered from a posterior delivery, but she was here and she was ours.

And the focus of life just zooms in for a moment—for a day or two—and everything feels clear. There’s peace and perspective and happiness when a new baby joins your family.

But then the focus zooms back out, because it has to—because there are meals to make and families to support, and very complicated, very real adult challenges that come to us in life—

And even though you know that those babies in your arms are what you most treasure and what you want more than anything, there are moments when you wonder if you can really do this. There are times when you hardly recognize yourself in the midst of your discouragement or your yelling at your kids, and you mourn a little bit for the happy mother that you wanted to be—that still you want to be.

Motherhood is beautiful, magical, and good—but it is also very hard at times. We all have our own unique situations and struggles and heartaches.

The hard stuff will never go away completely, but what if we could minimize it? Manage it a little better? And what if there were simple things we could do as mothers to maximize the joy?

That is the premise and the goal of this podcast: to give moms like you and me practical, doable takeaways to try with our families each week—strategies that will help us create more meaning in motherhood.

Please listen to the entire introductory episode to learn more about being a part of the 3 in 30 Podcast community of moms!

Show Notes

Rachel’s writing on Power of Moms

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