Finding Joy

How to Be the Mom You Are–Instead of the Mom You Think You Should Be (Ep 016) // Julie Bastedo

3 strategies to accept and love your unique strengths (and weaknesses) as a mother

“Fill your life with things that make you feel whole, instead of holey.”

In this week’s episode, Julie Bastedo (who has taught high school English for 18 years and has two children of her own) walks mothers through some strategies to help us embrace who we truly are, instead of always pining after whom we think we “should” be.

With humor and wisdom (and while quoting classic literature and poety, of course), Julie dives into each of the following takeaways:

 

1) Sit down and make a list of the unique gifts that YOU bring to your children.

2) Only follow social media accounts that enhance what you are already good at. (Julie calls this “ancillary material.” And don’t worry, she defines that.)

3) Recognize that you will be a source of joy and a source of disappointment for others throughout your life…and that’s okay.

 

Don’t miss this lively and uplifting discussion between two old friends who want to empower and encourage each other–and all the women who are listening.

Show Notes

-Rachel’s podcast with Power of Moms about her trip to South Africa: https://powerofmoms.com/ordinary-moms-can-make-extraordinary-difference-crystal-paine-rachel-nielson-episode-186/

-“When I Heard the Learn’d Astronomer” by Walt Whitman

“One’s-Self I Sing by Walt Whitman: “Of Life immense in passion, pulse, and power/ Cheerful, for freest action form’d under the laws divine…”

-The Book of Joy: Lasting Happiness in a Changing World by Dalai Lama and Desmond Tutu

-Quote by Mother Teresa:

 

“People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies. Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and sincere, people may deceive you. Be honest and sincere anyway.

What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight. Create anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous. Be happy anyway.

The good you do today will often be forgotten.  Do good anyway.

Give the best you have, and it may never be enough. Give your best anyway.

In the final analysis, it’s between you and God.

It was never between you and them anyway.”

 

-Jody Moore, Bold New Mom: “Other people’s opinion of me is none of my business.”

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Three Valentines Traditions for the Whole Family (Ep 015) // Sarah McKenna of Bombshell Bling

Podcast explaining three awesome Valentines Day traditions for the entire family // 3 in 30 Takeaways for Moms Podcast

The first Valentines Day that my husband and I were dating, he showed up on my doorstep with flowers and a clue that started me on a scavenger hunt to romantic places all around our college town.

Seven years later, on our first Valentines Day as parents, he showed up on our doorstep with…a toilet plunger.  (You’ll have to listen to the episode to get the full story!)

Yes, becoming parents can definitely affect the romance of Valentines Day a bit–but there’s no reason why this “holiday of love” has to be limited to just you and your spouse.  February 14th can be a day to celebrate family love as well!

In this episode, my amazing sister Sarah McKenna, from the craft blog Bombshell Bling, shares three totally doable and super fun Valentines traditions for the entire family.

1) Secret Cupids: https://www.bombshellbling.com/secret-cupids-valentines-day-family-tradition/

2) Heart Attacks: https://www.bombshellbling.com/heart-attack/

3) Love Letters to your Kids: https://www.bombshellbling.com/mushy-love-letters-a-february-tradition/

 

All three of these traditions can be adapted for little kids up to teenagers, and all of them will bring your family closer together.  I hope you will give at least one of them a try, and let me know at my instagram account: @3in30podcast.

Show Notes

-Sarah’s craft blog: BombshellBling.com

-“32 Ways to Surprise Your Sweetie” by Rachel Nielson: https://www.bombshellbling.com/things-for-hubby-valentines-day/

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Getting Out of Overwhelm (Ep 014) // April Perry of Power of Moms

3 Step Process for Getting Out of Overwhelm

If you often go to bed feeling like you will never get caught up on all of your responsibilities, wondering how you could’ve worked so hard all day and still have a massive to-do list, this episode is for you.

April Perry, the co-founder of the websites Power of Moms and Learn Do Become, shares a step-by-step process for getting out of overwhelm.  April has spent thousands of hours developing time management systems that help important people–from business leaders to mothers–organize their *minds* so they can focus on their true priorities, get more done, and be more present with their families during downtime.

In this episode, April explains this process in detail:

 

1) Make an ACCURATE list of all of the projects you have brewing in your mind.  (Include for your family, for you, and beyond.)

2) Narrow that list to no more than 7-8 projects to tackle this month.  Put that shorter list in a visible place to reference often.

3) Using that list, identify tiny “next actions” that will move each project forward.

 

Show Notes

-PowerofMoms.com

-LearnDoBecome.com

-Getting Things Done by David Allen

-Essentialism by Greg McKeown.

For more about April’s organization systems, please visit learndobecome.com/STEP.

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How to Stop Being Mean to Yourself: 3 of the Best Tools I Learned in Counseling (Ep 012)

Three strategies to stop negative self-talk

Five years ago, I realized that I needed to go to counseling.  I had been coping with stress and heartache through both undereating and overeating for almost ten years, and my negative thoughts about myself had become debilitating and all-consuming.

I sought treatment from an outpatient eating disorder clinic, and I fully expected my counselor to teach me how to control my eating; instead, my counselor went to the root of the problem and taught me how to control my thinking.

I learned that destructive behaviors (such as eating disorders) are part of a three-part cycle: we have a negative thought about ourselves, we then feel a negative emotion about ourselves, and we then cope with that feeling through a destructive behavior.  In order to stop this cycle, we must have strategies to stop the negative self-talk that starts it all in the first place!

Whether or not you’ve ever struggled with an eating disorder, I think this episode will benefit you.  I share three of the best tools that I learned in counseling:

 

1) Reject “filtered thinking” and embrace “big-picture thinking.”

2) Talk to yourself the way you would talk to your best friend, sister, or daughter.

3) Use “coping statements” to help  you re-center and stay calm in moments when you might spiral into despair.

 

I truly believe that almost no topic is more important for women and mothers–so I hope you will listen, and let me know what you think in the comments.

Additional Resources

Unhealthy Stress or Habits? Break the Cycle (podcast with Power of Moms): https://powerofmoms.com/unhealthy-stress/

Listening to and Loving your Body through Intuitive Eating (podcast with Power of Moms): https://powerofmoms.com/intuitive-eating/

It Is What It Is” (article with a list of coping strategies): https://powerofmoms.com/it-is-what-it-is/

The Surprising Way I Confronted my Eating Disorder” (full narrative therapy): https://powerofmoms.com/eating-disorder/

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How to Create a More Peaceful Home (Ep 007) // Cate Johnson

Ep 007 How to Create a More Peaceful Home

“At any given point, you can say, ‘This is not how the story is going to end.'”

Cate Johnson was a mother of two young children with a big, beautiful home in the country.  From the outside, it looked like she was “living the dream,” but inside, she felt like she was drowning.

She craved peace and connection with her children–but instead she felt only chaos and overwhelm. She spent hours cleaning her big home while her kids watched television. She felt heartbroken that she was not the mother that she had always wanted to be.

In this powerful episode, Cate shares three small but significant changes that transformed their home environment:

1) Using the five senses to create a haven of peace.

2) Designating a “kid of the day” to eliminate fighting.

3) Structuring their family time around rhythms to create stability.

Cate is now a fulfilled, empowered mother, and she has a message of hope for all of us: We can have more peaceful homes, no matter where we live.

Show Notes

Simplicity Parenting by Kim John Payne

Lullaby Playlist

Whole Family Rhythms

Cate Johnson Quote--FINAL 3 in 30 Podcast 2

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