Finding Joy

024: Fighting Against Mom-Guilt

Fighting Against Mom-Guilt // 3 in 30 Takeaways for Moms Podcast

A few years ago, I had a phone conversation with a friend that changed my perspective forever.  She told me why she never feels mom-guilt.  And I loved her wisdom and think of it often.

Listen to this week’s episode to hear her advice, as well as three strategies that I use frequently when I feel the mom-guilt sneaking in:

 

1) List all of the blessings that your kids have in their lives, from you and others.

2) Reject “filtered-thinking.” Zoom out so you can see the big-picture of yourself and your kids’ lives.

3) Examine whether your guilt is beckoning you higher, or dragging you down lower.

 

I love to hear from you!  Let me know what resonated from this episode or others at @3in30podcast on Instagram or 3in30podcast@gmail.com.

Show Notes:

-Organization I worked with in South Africa: https://helponenow.org/south-africa/

-More about the people I worked with in South Africa: http://fyionrachandry.blogspot.com/2016/11/i-want-to-introduce-you-to-people-who.html

-Episode about the three best tools I learned in counseling, including how to recognize and combat “filtered-thinking”: http://3in30podcast.com/ep-012-stop-mehan-3-best-tools-learned-counseling/

-Another great episode to help combat mom-guilt, “How to Be the Mom You Are, Instead of the Mom You Think You Should Be”: http://3in30podcast.com/ep-016-how-to-be-the-mom-you-are-instead-of-the-mom-you-think-you-should-be-julie-bastedo/

-Last week’s episode “How to Stop Looking at Your Phone So Much–And Why It Matters”: http://3in30podcast.com/lookup/

 

Listen to this episode

020: How to Be a Friend Instead of Just Being Friendly // Brooke Romney

Concrete ideas for being a good friend...even if you're really busy

As mothers, this can be a hard stage of life to find and maintain meaningful friendships.

Many of us feel busy and overwhelmed–barely managing the needs of our own families.

Opportunities to connect with other women might feel scarce, depending on the ages and needs of our children.

Sometimes it’s just easier to give a friendly wave or a quick hello in the hallway at church than to invest in a real friendship with someone.

In this week’s episode, Brooke Romney, a mother of four and a professional writer, shares totally doable ways that we can be good friends to other women, even if we are busy, shy, or maxed out on life.

Brooke discusses each of the following takeaways, offering concrete ideas within each:

 

1) Take advantage of small opportunities to build connection by simply being present wherever we are. 

2) Follow the advice that we give our children about being a good friend.

3) Don’t wait for life conditions to be perfect before extending friendship to others.

 

Don’t miss this conversation where we learn how to go beyond just being friendly, to start being real friends.

 

Show Notes

-Brooke’s website: http://brookeromney.com/

-Brooke’s article in the Deseret News: “It’s Time to Stop Being Friendly and Start Being a Friend

-Rachel’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/3in30podcast/

-Brooke’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/brookeromneywrites/

 

Listen to this episode

016: How to Be the Mom You Are–Instead of the Mom You Think You Should Be // Julie Bastedo

3 strategies to accept and love your unique strengths (and weaknesses) as a mother

“Fill your life with things that make you feel whole, instead of holey.”

In this week’s episode, Julie Bastedo (who has taught high school English for 18 years and has two children of her own) walks mothers through some strategies to help us embrace who we truly are, instead of always pining after whom we think we “should” be.

With humor and wisdom (and while quoting classic literature and poety, of course), Julie dives into each of the following takeaways:

 

1) Sit down and make a list of the unique gifts that YOU bring to your children.

2) Only follow social media accounts that enhance what you are already good at. (Julie calls this “ancillary material.” And don’t worry, she defines that.)

3) Recognize that you will be a source of joy and a source of disappointment for others throughout your life…and that’s okay.

 

Don’t miss this lively and uplifting discussion between two old friends who want to empower and encourage each other–and all the women who are listening.

Show Notes

-Rachel’s podcast with Power of Moms about her trip to South Africa: https://powerofmoms.com/ordinary-moms-can-make-extraordinary-difference-crystal-paine-rachel-nielson-episode-186/

-“When I Heard the Learn’d Astronomer” by Walt Whitman

“One’s-Self I Sing by Walt Whitman: “Of Life immense in passion, pulse, and power/ Cheerful, for freest action form’d under the laws divine…”

-The Book of Joy: Lasting Happiness in a Changing World by Dalai Lama and Desmond Tutu

-Quote by Mother Teresa:

 

“People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies. Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and sincere, people may deceive you. Be honest and sincere anyway.

What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight. Create anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous. Be happy anyway.

The good you do today will often be forgotten.  Do good anyway.

Give the best you have, and it may never be enough. Give your best anyway.

In the final analysis, it’s between you and God.

It was never between you and them anyway.”

 

-Jody Moore, Bold New Mom: “Other people’s opinion of me is none of my business.”

Listen to this episode
10 Comments

015: Three Valentines Traditions for the Whole Family // Sarah McKenna of Bombshell Bling

Podcast explaining three awesome Valentines Day traditions for the entire family // 3 in 30 Takeaways for Moms Podcast

The first Valentines Day that my husband and I were dating, he showed up on my doorstep with flowers and a clue that started me on a scavenger hunt to romantic places all around our college town.

Seven years later, on our first Valentines Day as parents, he showed up on our doorstep with…a toilet plunger.  (You’ll have to listen to the episode to get the full story!)

Yes, becoming parents can definitely affect the romance of Valentines Day a bit–but there’s no reason why this “holiday of love” has to be limited to just you and your spouse.  February 14th can be a day to celebrate family love as well!

In this episode, my amazing sister Sarah McKenna, from the craft blog Bombshell Bling, shares three totally doable and super fun Valentines traditions for the entire family.

1) Secret Cupids: https://www.bombshellbling.com/secret-cupids-valentines-day-family-tradition/

2) Heart Attacks: https://www.bombshellbling.com/heart-attack/

3) Love Letters to your Kids: https://www.bombshellbling.com/mushy-love-letters-a-february-tradition/

 

All three of these traditions can be adapted for little kids up to teenagers, and all of them will bring your family closer together.  I hope you will give at least one of them a try, and let me know at my instagram account: @3in30podcast.

Show Notes

-Sarah’s craft blog: BombshellBling.com

-“32 Ways to Surprise Your Sweetie” by Rachel Nielson: https://www.bombshellbling.com/things-for-hubby-valentines-day/

Listen to this episode

014: Getting Out of Overwhelm // April Perry of Power of Moms

3 Step Process for Getting Out of Overwhelm

If you often go to bed feeling like you will never get caught up on all of your responsibilities, wondering how you could’ve worked so hard all day and still have a massive to-do list, this episode is for you.

April Perry, the co-founder of the websites Power of Moms and Learn Do Become, shares a step-by-step process for getting out of overwhelm.  April has spent thousands of hours developing time management systems that help important people–from business leaders to mothers–organize their *minds* so they can focus on their true priorities, get more done, and be more present with their families during downtime.

In this episode, April explains this process in detail:

 

1) Make an ACCURATE list of all of the projects you have brewing in your mind.  (Include for your family, for you, and beyond.)

2) Narrow that list to no more than 7-8 projects to tackle this month.  Put that shorter list in a visible place to reference often.

3) Using that list, identify tiny “next actions” that will move each project forward.

 

Show Notes

-PowerofMoms.com

-LearnDoBecome.com

-Getting Things Done by David Allen

-Essentialism by Greg McKeown.

For more about April’s organization systems, please visit learndobecome.com/STEP.

Listen to this episode