This is the first time I’ve ever cried while recording a podcast episode. It’s also the first time I’ve ever recorded while whispering in a bathroom during a family reunion. So basically, prepare yourself–this is going to be vulnerable and possibly bizarre for 3 in 30! Ultimately, I hope it’s helpful as you navigate your own relationships and consider how to show more love in situations that can be complicated.
The beginning of this episode is an excerpt from my interview with Tony Overbay for *his* podcast, The Virtual Couch. Tony is such a warm and caring podcast host, I felt comfortable sharing one of the most sacred experiences of my life with him–and now I share it with you. I can truly say that this experience with prayer changed the course of my life.
In the second half of the episode, I add three takeaways and further explain my thoughts on how to love someone when it’s hard.
This episode is truly a piece of my heart and soul. I hope you enjoy it.
-Full episode on Tony Overbay’s podcast, The Virtual Couch: http://www.tonyoverbay.com/2018/05/07/episode-54-in-vitro-fertilization-and-open-adoption-w-rachel-nielson-host-of-3-in-30-takeaways-for-moms/
-Mother on Instagram who I love to follow: https://www.instagram.com/kellyejensen/
One year ago, I saw my son’s birthmom for the last time. She had come to spend the weekend with us for Noah’s 6th birthday, and it is a weekend I will never forget. We explored the mountains near our new home, roasted marshmallows over a summer bonfire, and poured love on the amazing little boy who had brought us all so much joy.
Before she left, we took photos on our front porch at sunset, and I marveled at the miracle of open adoption. I snapped a photo of her kissing Noah’s cheek, never imagining that it would be the last photo I would take of them together.
Three months later, November 2017, Katie took her own life after a long battle with mental illness. I recorded this episode a few days after I received the news of her death. As I grappled with how I could possibly face this loss, I decided to share “Three Messages of Hope for the Darkest Times.” Within this episode, I talk about my journey with infertility, which ultimately lead me the miracle of Noah and his beautiful birthmom, Katie.
I re-air the episode today in honor of Noah’s birthday, which I always shared with Katie.
Infertility and Adoption Grants: bundledblessingsfertility.com
I want to meet you!
-Rediscover YOU! Workshop in Utah (September 28-29): https://www.eventbrite.com/e/rediscover-you-workshop-tickets-47833978718
-The Pearl Conference In Las Vegas, NV (November 17): https://www.eventbrite.com/e/the-pearl-conference-a-conference-for-mothers-tickets-48097368524
Many of us know friends and family members who have lost precious loved ones. During those heartbreaking times, it’s so hard to know what to say and do to show our love and support.
On today’s podcast, we hear from a mother who has been there and has so much wisdom to share. Several years ago, Rachel Gainer lost her two-month-old daughter, Daphne, and was engulfed in sorrow. She talks about her journey to “rebuilding” her sense of self after Daphne’s death, and she shares invaluable insight into what it’s like to grieve and what we can do to serve those around us who are hurting.
Listen in as she teaches us how to…
1) Reach out to the grieving family, no matter how long it has been.
2) Offer a specific service or gift based on your talents and interests.
3) Speak with sensitivity.
This is an episode that everyone should listen to–because, at some point, we will all inevitably need to support someone whom we love who is grieving. You won’t want to miss Rachel’s ideas for specific, heartfelt gifts we can send and meaningful words we can say. You’ll also want to hear all about her angel baby, Daphne.
Rachel Gainer’s website: RachelRebuilt.com
Rachel Gainer’s Instagram: @rachel_rebuilt
Ink Puddles by Karin (custom artwork for families): https://www.etsy.com/shop/InkPuddlesbyKarin?ref=l2-shopheader-name
**This portrait was done for a family who lost their baby:
My experience was a little different than most mothers—I wasn’t the one in the hospital bed that night. I was standing beside my son’s brave birthmother as Noah came into the world.
After years of failed infertility treatments and adoption possibilities that didn’t go through, I was finally a mother.
Three years later, this time on a hot summer morning, we were blessed a second time. After going through Invitro Fertilization and an incredibly difficult pregnancy, my second little miracle was placed in my arms.
Sally Grace was bruised and battered from a posterior delivery, but she was here and she was ours.
And the focus of life just zooms in for a moment—for a day or two—and everything feels clear. There’s peace and perspective and happiness when a new baby joins your family.
But then the focus zooms back out, because it has to—because there are meals to make and families to support, and very complicated, very real adult challenges that come to us in life—
And even though you know that those babies in your arms are what you most treasure and what you want more than anything, there are moments when you wonder if you can really do this. There are times when you hardly recognize yourself in the midst of your discouragement or your yelling at your kids, and you mourn a little bit for the happy mother that you wanted to be—that still you want to be.
Motherhood is beautiful, magical, and good—but it is also very hard at times. We all have our own unique situations and struggles and heartaches.
The hard stuff will never go away completely, but what if we could minimize it? Manage it a little better? And what if there were simple things we could do as mothers to maximize the joy?
That is the premise and the goal of this podcast: to give moms like you and me practical, doable takeaways to try with our families each week—strategies that will help us create more meaning in motherhood.
Please listen to the entire introductory episode to learn more about being a part of the 3 in 30 Podcast community of moms!
Rachel’s writing on Power of Moms