Posts Tagged ‘counseling’

Ep 024 Fighting Against Mom-Guilt

Fighting Against Mom-Guilt // 3 in 30 Takeaways for Moms Podcast

A few years ago, I had a phone conversation with a friend that changed my perspective forever.  She told me why she never feels mom-guilt.  And I loved her wisdom and think of it often.

Listen to this week’s episode to hear her advice, as well as three strategies that I use frequently when I feel the mom-guilt sneaking in:

 

1) List all of the blessings that your kids have in their lives, from you and others.

2) Reject “filtered-thinking.” Zoom out so you can see the big-picture of yourself and your kids’ lives.

3) Examine whether your guilt is beckoning you higher, or dragging you down lower.

 

I love to hear from you!  Let me know what resonated from this episode or others at @3in30podcast on Instagram or 3in30podcast@gmail.com.

Show Notes:

-Organization I worked with in South Africa: https://helponenow.org/south-africa/

-More about the people I worked with in South Africa: http://fyionrachandry.blogspot.com/2016/11/i-want-to-introduce-you-to-people-who.html

-Episode about the three best tools I learned in counseling, including how to recognize and combat “filtered-thinking”: http://3in30podcast.com/ep-012-stop-mehan-3-best-tools-learned-counseling/

-Another great episode to help combat mom-guilt, “How to Be the Mom You Are, Instead of the Mom You Think You Should Be”: http://3in30podcast.com/ep-016-how-to-be-the-mom-you-are-instead-of-the-mom-you-think-you-should-be-julie-bastedo/

-Last week’s episode “How to Stop Looking at Your Phone So Much–And Why It Matters”: http://3in30podcast.com/lookup/

 

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Ep. 012 How to Stop Being Mean to Yourself: 3 of the Best Tools I Learned in Counseling

Three strategies to stop negative self-talk

Five years ago, I realized that I needed to go to counseling.  I had been coping with stress and heartache through both undereating and overeating for almost ten years, and my negative thoughts about myself had become debilitating and all-consuming.

I sought treatment from an outpatient eating disorder clinic, and I fully expected my counselor to teach me how to control my eating; instead, my counselor went to the root of the problem and taught me how to control my thinking.

I learned that destructive behaviors (such as eating disorders) are part of a three-part cycle: we have a negative thought about ourselves, we then feel a negative emotion about ourselves, and we then cope with that feeling through a destructive behavior.  In order to stop this cycle, we must have strategies to stop the negative self-talk that starts it all in the first place!

Whether or not you’ve ever struggled with an eating disorder, I think this episode will benefit you.  I share three of the best tools that I learned in counseling:

 

1) Reject “filtered thinking” and embrace “big-picture thinking.”

2) Talk to yourself the way you would talk to your best friend, sister, or daughter.

3) Use “coping statements” to help  you re-center and stay calm in moments when you might spiral into despair.

 

I truly believe that almost no topic is more important for women and mothers–so I hope you will listen, and let me know what you think in the comments.

Additional Resources

Unhealthy Stress or Habits? Break the Cycle (podcast with Power of Moms): https://powerofmoms.com/unhealthy-stress/

Listening to and Loving your Body through Intuitive Eating (podcast with Power of Moms): https://powerofmoms.com/intuitive-eating/

It Is What It Is” (article with a list of coping strategies): https://powerofmoms.com/it-is-what-it-is/

The Surprising Way I Confronted my Eating Disorder” (full narrative therapy): https://powerofmoms.com/eating-disorder/

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