Posts Tagged ‘depression’

012: How to Stop Being Mean to Yourself: 3 of the Best Tools I Learned in Counseling

Three strategies to stop negative self-talk

Five years ago, I realized that I needed to go to counseling.  I had been coping with stress and heartache through both undereating and overeating for almost ten years, and my negative thoughts about myself had become debilitating and all-consuming.

I sought treatment from an outpatient eating disorder clinic, and I fully expected my counselor to teach me how to control my eating; instead, my counselor went to the root of the problem and taught me how to control my thinking.

I learned that destructive behaviors (such as eating disorders) are part of a three-part cycle: we have a negative thought about ourselves, we then feel a negative emotion about ourselves, and we then cope with that feeling through a destructive behavior.  In order to stop this cycle, we must have strategies to stop the negative self-talk that starts it all in the first place!

Whether or not you’ve ever struggled with an eating disorder, I think this episode will benefit you.  I share three of the best tools that I learned in counseling:

 

1) Reject “filtered thinking” and embrace “big-picture thinking.”

2) Talk to yourself the way you would talk to your best friend, sister, or daughter.

3) Use “coping statements” to help  you re-center and stay calm in moments when you might spiral into despair.

 

I truly believe that almost no topic is more important for women and mothers–so I hope you will listen, and let me know what you think in the comments.

Additional Resources

Unhealthy Stress or Habits? Break the Cycle (podcast with Power of Moms): https://powerofmoms.com/unhealthy-stress/

Listening to and Loving your Body through Intuitive Eating (podcast with Power of Moms): https://powerofmoms.com/intuitive-eating/

It Is What It Is” (article with a list of coping strategies): https://powerofmoms.com/it-is-what-it-is/

The Surprising Way I Confronted my Eating Disorder” (full narrative therapy): https://powerofmoms.com/eating-disorder/

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006: Three Messages of Hope for the Darkest Times

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This week, my family has been through a terrible loss: the death of my son’s birthmother, Katie.  We’ve had an open adoption with her and she became part of our family over the last seven years.

We are grieving deeply, and I couldn’t go on with business as usual on the podcast; so I took a break from our usual show format to record some thoughts on how we can find hope, even in the darkest of trials.

Listen in as I share three scriptural phrases that gave me strength during my long battle with infertility and the ups and downs of the adoption process.  Whether or not you’re religious, whether or not you’ve ever adopted, I think these messages of hope will uplift you.  They are universal.

  1. Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning.
  2. He gives unto them beauty for ashes
  3. When He has tried me, I shall come forth as gold.

Hold your families close this week.  Much love.

Noah's Birth

Noah's Sixth Birthday with Katie

In Memory of Katie Rose Stratford

Joy Comes in the Morning // 3 in 30 Takeaways for Moms

Beauty for Ashes // 3 in 30 Takeaways for Moms

Come Forth as Gold // 3 in 30 Takeaways for Moms

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