“I got this crazy idea in my head 3.5 years ago to start a marriage blog, but I had so many doubts, like ‘Why would I do that? I’m not that great of a wife…’ But the idea just coming back and back… And eventually I kind of thought, ‘I can just try things and tell people how it went. I can experiment. I can conduct marriage experiments.”
This is the premise behind “Marriage Laboratory,” a marriage blog run by Celeste Davis and her husband Rich (who happens to be a real-life scientist studying immunology). This past year, she conducted experiments on the five love languages by simply focusing on one per month.
Today on the podcast, Celeste will share some of her experiments and outcomes in the following areas:
1) Words of Affirmation: Send your husband a loving note, text, or email every day for a month
2) Quality Time: Dedicate ten minutes every single night to just sitting and talking with your spouse, with no phones anywhere in sight!
3) Physical Touch: Have sex every other day for a month (don’t worry–she doesn’t get too steamy on this one, but her story is pretty fascinating)
Don’t miss this conversation with a wife and mother who is dedicating her life to loving her family better, in simple but profound ways.
-Celeste’s marriage blog, Marriage Laboratory: http://www.marriagelaboratory.com/
1) Words of Affirmation
-“42 Love Letter Prompts”: http://www.marriagelaboratory.com/blog/42-love-letter-prompts/
-“40 Loving Texts to Send RIGHT NOW to Make Your Partner’s Day”: http://www.marriagelaboratory.com/blog/40-loving-texts/
2) Quality Time
-“10-Minute Daily Connect Challenge”: http://www.marriagelaboratory.com/blog/10-minute-daily-connect-busy-couples/
-“The Ultimate Guide to Speaking the Love Language of Quality Time”: http://www.marriagelaboratory.com/blog/quality-time-love-language-guide/
-Article Rachel read about “bids for attention”: https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2014/06/happily-ever-after/372573/
3) Physical Touch
-“6 Resources for Spicing Up Your Marriage in the Bedroom”: http://www.marriagelaboratory.com/blog/spice-up-your-marriage/
-“What Would Happen If You Had Sex Every Other Day for a Month?”: http://www.marriagelaboratory.com/blog/sex-every-other-day/
-“46 Just Because Gift Ideas to Make Your Spouse’s Day”: http://www.marriagelaboratory.com/blog/just-because-gift-ideas/
-“DIY Anniversary Gifts (that we’ve actually made)”: http://www.marriagelaboratory.com/blog/diy-anniversary-gifts/
5) Acts of Service
-“The Best Way to Get Your Marriage Out of a Rut”: http://www.marriagelaboratory.com/blog/marriage-out-of-a-rut/
If you often go to bed feeling like you will never get caught up on all of your responsibilities, wondering how you could’ve worked so hard all day and still have a massive to-do list, this episode is for you.
April Perry, the co-founder of the websites Power of Moms and Learn Do Become, shares a step-by-step process for getting out of overwhelm. April has spent thousands of hours developing time management systems that help important people–from business leaders to mothers–organize their *minds* so they can focus on their true priorities, get more done, and be more present with their families during downtime.
In this episode, April explains this process in detail:
1) Make an ACCURATE list of all of the projects you have brewing in your mind. (Include for your family, for you, and beyond.)
2) Narrow that list to no more than 7-8 projects to tackle this month. Put that shorter list in a visible place to reference often.
3) Using that list, identify tiny “next actions” that will move each project forward.
For more about April’s organization systems, please visit learndobecome.com/STEP.
“Perfectionism, we wrongly assign only to overachievers. I think most perfectionists are actually underachievers.”
When I first heard Monica Packer of the podcast About Progress explain this phenomenon–that a perfectionist can actually become an underachiever–I was stunned. I recognized that she was describing me. I had gone from a hardcore overachiever (who had developed eating disorders as a result) to an apathetic underachiever who avoided making any sort of goals in my life.
In this week’s episode, Monica describes her own similar journey and how she has now found a middle ground: striving for “progress, not perfection.” She gives us three takeaways to consider as we head into the New Year about how to set goals that will push us to improve while also helping us maintain our mental health.
1) Don’t think too much.
2) Make room for failure.
3) Make your goals visible.
Listen in as she and I dive into these principles and offer specific examples from our own lives as “recovering perfectionists.”
Monica’s website and podcast: About Progress.com
Her Intro episode that resonated so deeply with me: http://www.aboutprogress.com/2016/11/most-likely-to-be-talk-show-host.html
To get the PDF printable of each month’s take-aways, visit my website and sign up: 3in30podcast.com.
It’s the witching hour–when you are trying to get dinner made–and your four-year-old son is whining that there’s nothing to do. You walk with him to the playroom, only to find that he has dumped out every bin of toys, yet can’t seem to find anything suitable to hold his attention.
Unable to face the mess of Legos, cars, Magformers, and stuffed animals that are now strewn everywhere, you simply close the door to the playroom and pretend it doesn’t exist. You turn on the TV to keep your little man occupied, and you wonder, What new toy should we get him for Christmas that he will actually play with?
If this scene sounds familiar, this episode is for you. I invited Tana Parke, a mother of five children and a semi-professional organizer, to share three strategies for keeping our kids’ clutter at bay. Our discussion includes exciting topics, like:
- Why you should hide some toys from your children for a while
- Who might be happy to receive some of the little trinkets that your kids have collected (it’s not who you think!)
- How to teach your kids to think critically about whether or not they actually want a new toy or trinket
- Why The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up doesn’t work for children (and how you can modify it!)
- How to allow your children to have some “treasures” while also keeping them from being hoarders
…and much more!
“The prerequisite to all other parenting principles is to be in control of yourself as the parent. And this is the major struggle for parents. They feel like they are standing on the sidelines helpless, and their children are running rompus around them and all over them…But this can easily be changed. We should not feel like victims in our own households. We can find joy and delight in working in our own homes.”
Ralphie Jacobs is a mother to four girls, ages 3-14, and the founder of the popular Instagram account @simplyonpurpose. Her account has experienced incredible growth from when it started just a year ago because so many mothers are thirsting for her wise, compassionate, and positive parenting advice.
It was an honor to have her on the show, and in this episode she will teach us how to stop yelling at our kids by being in control of ourselves. But how do we do that, especially in the moment when anger is building? Ralphie explains how we must:
- Listen to the right story
- Use time to our advantage
- Model being happy
Listen in as Ralphie and I dive into these principles a little more deeply and give practical advice of how to apply them in your home.
As always, I would love to hear from you! Let me know in the comments which strategies stay with you the most and what works with your children.