A few years ago, I had a phone conversation with a friend that changed my perspective forever. She told me why she never feels mom-guilt. And I loved her wisdom and think of it often.
Listen to this week’s episode to hear her advice, as well as three strategies that I use frequently when I feel the mom-guilt sneaking in:
1) List all of the blessings that your kids have in their lives, from you and others.
2) Reject “filtered-thinking.” Zoom out so you can see the big-picture of yourself and your kids’ lives.
3) Examine whether your guilt is beckoning you higher, or dragging you down lower.
I love to hear from you! Let me know what resonated from this episode or others at @3in30podcast on Instagram or email@example.com.
-Organization I worked with in South Africa: https://helponenow.org/south-africa/
-More about the people I worked with in South Africa: http://fyionrachandry.blogspot.com/2016/11/i-want-to-introduce-you-to-people-who.html
-Episode about the three best tools I learned in counseling, including how to recognize and combat “filtered-thinking”: http://3in30podcast.com/ep-012-stop-mehan-3-best-tools-learned-counseling/
-Another great episode to help combat mom-guilt, “How to Be the Mom You Are, Instead of the Mom You Think You Should Be”: http://3in30podcast.com/ep-016-how-to-be-the-mom-you-are-instead-of-the-mom-you-think-you-should-be-julie-bastedo/
-Last week’s episode “How to Stop Looking at Your Phone So Much–And Why It Matters”: http://3in30podcast.com/lookup/
“I got this crazy idea in my head 3.5 years ago to start a marriage blog, but I had so many doubts, like ‘Why would I do that? I’m not that great of a wife…’ But the idea just coming back and back… And eventually I kind of thought, ‘I can just try things and tell people how it went. I can experiment. I can conduct marriage experiments.”
This is the premise behind “Marriage Laboratory,” a marriage blog run by Celeste Davis and her husband Rich (who happens to be a real-life scientist studying immunology). This past year, she conducted experiments on the five love languages by simply focusing on one per month.
Today on the podcast, Celeste will share some of her experiments and outcomes in the following areas:
1) Words of Affirmation: Send your husband a loving note, text, or email every day for a month
2) Quality Time: Dedicate ten minutes every single night to just sitting and talking with your spouse, with no phones anywhere in sight!
3) Physical Touch: Have sex every other day for a month (don’t worry–she doesn’t get too steamy on this one, but her story is pretty fascinating)
Don’t miss this conversation with a wife and mother who is dedicating her life to loving her family better, in simple but profound ways.
-Celeste’s marriage blog, Marriage Laboratory: http://www.marriagelaboratory.com/
1) Words of Affirmation
-“42 Love Letter Prompts”: http://www.marriagelaboratory.com/blog/42-love-letter-prompts/
-“40 Loving Texts to Send RIGHT NOW to Make Your Partner’s Day”: http://www.marriagelaboratory.com/blog/40-loving-texts/
2) Quality Time
-“10-Minute Daily Connect Challenge”: http://www.marriagelaboratory.com/blog/10-minute-daily-connect-busy-couples/
-“The Ultimate Guide to Speaking the Love Language of Quality Time”: http://www.marriagelaboratory.com/blog/quality-time-love-language-guide/
-Article Rachel read about “bids for attention”: https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2014/06/happily-ever-after/372573/
3) Physical Touch
-“6 Resources for Spicing Up Your Marriage in the Bedroom”: http://www.marriagelaboratory.com/blog/spice-up-your-marriage/
-“What Would Happen If You Had Sex Every Other Day for a Month?”: http://www.marriagelaboratory.com/blog/sex-every-other-day/
-“46 Just Because Gift Ideas to Make Your Spouse’s Day”: http://www.marriagelaboratory.com/blog/just-because-gift-ideas/
-“DIY Anniversary Gifts (that we’ve actually made)”: http://www.marriagelaboratory.com/blog/diy-anniversary-gifts/
5) Acts of Service
-“The Best Way to Get Your Marriage Out of a Rut”: http://www.marriagelaboratory.com/blog/marriage-out-of-a-rut/
If you often go to bed feeling like you will never get caught up on all of your responsibilities, wondering how you could’ve worked so hard all day and still have a massive to-do list, this episode is for you.
April Perry, the co-founder of the websites Power of Moms and Learn Do Become, shares a step-by-step process for getting out of overwhelm. April has spent thousands of hours developing time management systems that help important people–from business leaders to mothers–organize their *minds* so they can focus on their true priorities, get more done, and be more present with their families during downtime.
In this episode, April explains this process in detail:
1) Make an ACCURATE list of all of the projects you have brewing in your mind. (Include for your family, for you, and beyond.)
2) Narrow that list to no more than 7-8 projects to tackle this month. Put that shorter list in a visible place to reference often.
3) Using that list, identify tiny “next actions” that will move each project forward.
For more about April’s organization systems, please visit learndobecome.com/STEP.
Many of us know friends and family members who have lost precious loved ones. During those heartbreaking times, it’s so hard to know what to say and do to show our love and support.
On today’s podcast, we hear from a mother who has been there and has so much wisdom to share. Several years ago, Rachel Gainer lost her two-month-old daughter, Daphne, and was engulfed in sorrow. She talks about her journey to “rebuilding” her sense of self after Daphne’s death, and she shares invaluable insight into what it’s like to grieve and what we can do to serve those around us who are hurting.
Listen in as she teaches us how to…
1) Reach out to the grieving family, no matter how long it has been.
2) Offer a specific service or gift based on your talents and interests.
3) Speak with sensitivity.
This is an episode that everyone should listen to–because, at some point, we will all inevitably need to support someone whom we love who is grieving. You won’t want to miss Rachel’s ideas for specific, heartfelt gifts we can send and meaningful words we can say. You’ll also want to hear all about her angel baby, Daphne.
Rachel Gainer’s website: RachelRebuilt.com
Rachel Gainer’s Instagram: @rachel_rebuilt
Ink Puddles by Karin (custom artwork for families): https://www.etsy.com/shop/InkPuddlesbyKarin?ref=l2-shopheader-name
**This portrait was done for a family who lost their baby:
Though you may never have defined it as “soul fever” before, all parents have witnessed this malady taking over their children from time to time…when kids have had too much excitement, too little sleep, too much sugar, and too little downtime–and their behavior shows it!
On today’s episode, Carrie Thomas Scott–a licensed professional counselor and a mother herself–uses the four pillars of Simplicity Parenting to teach us how to protect our kids from catching a “soul fever” this holiday season.
Listen in for concrete strategies on how to help your children stay balanced and soul-healthy this holiday using these four pillars:
4. Filtering Out the Adult World
Simplicity Parenting by Kim John Payne