One year ago, I saw my son’s birthmom for the last time. She had come to spend the weekend with us for Noah’s 6th birthday, and it is a weekend I will never forget. We explored the mountains near our new home, roasted marshmallows over a summer bonfire, and poured love on the amazing little boy who had brought us all so much joy.
Before she left, we took photos on our front porch at sunset, and I marveled at the miracle of open adoption. I snapped a photo of her kissing Noah’s cheek, never imagining that it would be the last photo I would take of them together.
Three months later, November 2017, Katie took her own life after a long battle with mental illness. I recorded this episode a few days after I received the news of her death. As I grappled with how I could possibly face this loss, I decided to share “Three Messages of Hope for the Darkest Times.” Within this episode, I talk about my journey with infertility, which ultimately lead me the miracle of Noah and his beautiful birthmom, Katie.
I re-air the episode today in honor of Noah’s birthday, which I always shared with Katie.
Infertility and Adoption Grants: bundledblessingsfertility.com
I want to meet you!
-Rediscover YOU! Workshop in Utah (September 28-29): https://www.eventbrite.com/e/rediscover-you-workshop-tickets-47833978718
-The Pearl Conference In Las Vegas, NV (November 17): https://www.eventbrite.com/e/the-pearl-conference-a-conference-for-mothers-tickets-48097368524
How do we stay positive when we face incomprehensible trials? How do we endure well and allow our struggles to soften and strengthen us? And perhaps most importantly, how do we model this kind of resilience for our children?
Today on the podcast, Ralphie Jacobs, the respected parenting expert from Simply on Purpose, talks about her heroic father who, as a father of nine children, was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis when Ralphie was five years old. He lost the ability to walk by the time Ralphie was ten, and he has endured MS for over 30 years.
This interview is especially meaningful because Ralphie’s father joins us on the call. Ralphie wanted him to hear her tribute to him and to add his own thoughts to the discussion–and it is a truly tender and touching conversation between a beloved father and “his girl.”
I felt honored to be apart of this sacred conversation, and I know you will feel the same after you listen. You will come away braver, more determined to stay positive, and completely inspired to invest in your children when they are young–so you can have rich relationships with them that last a lifetime.
-Ralphie’s Instagram account and teaching platform, Simply on Purpose: https://www.instagram.com/simplyonpurpose/?hl=en
-Ralphie’s interview on the Extraordinary Moms Podcast: https://extraordinarymomspodcast.com/ralphie/
-Ralphie’s first interview on 3 in 30, “How to Step Yelling at Your Kids”: http://3in30podcast.com/yelling/
Do you laugh aloud at the thought of having a few minutes to meditate during busy days with your children? What if I told you that you could be meditating THE ENTIRE DAY, even in the midst of chaotic, everyday moments with your little minions?
Dr. Leah Weiss–an author, a mindfulness expert who studied with the Dali Lama, a professor at the Stanford Graduate School of Business, and a mother of three little children–teaches that this is possible. It just requires that we redefine (or rather, correctly define) the word “meditation.”
The word “meditation” is a translation from the Tibetan word “gom.” Dr. Weiss points out that a more literal definition of this word is simply “familiarization” or “getting to know your mind and heart.” When explained this way, busy moms can let go of visions of silent meditation rooms and burning incense (though those things are great too!) and instead embrace every moment with their children as an opportunity to “familiarize” themselves with their own hearts and minds. In fact, motherhood itself can become meditation.
Join me for this fascinating conversation with a renowned mindfulness expert who teaches us the Tibetan process of “dampa sum,” meaning “good in the beginning, good in the middle, and good in the end.”
“How We Work: Live Your Purpose, Reclaim Your Sanity, and Embrace the Daily Grind” by Dr. Leah Weiss https://amzn.to/2sz6Wby
“Motherhood Matters: Are You Willing to Suffer?” by Laura Fanucci: https://www.deseretnews.com/article/865638913/Motherhood-Matters-Are-you-willing-to-suffer.html
When her mother was dying of Alzheimers, April Perry felt an urgency to write a book about her–to capture in words the beautiful memories and lessons of her life.
Each Thursday, she would spend the day with her mom and dad, and she would read them the latest chapter from her book, reliving with them how much her mother had shaped her. April says those Thursdays were some of the most sacred days of her life.
Today on the podcast, we will talk about three chapters from April’s book, which capture lessons about how to connect with our kids during everyday moments.
This episode will remind you that you don’t need to do more as a mother–you simply need to “lean in” to those mundane, everyday moments with your children that are actually making a profound difference to them.
**To enter a giveaway for a copy of April’s book, simply share a memory of your mother on social media this week and tag @3in30podcast, or send it to me in an email at email@example.com.
“Your Children Want YOU!” article from Power of Moms: https://powerofmoms.com/your-children-want-you/
Thursdays with Zoe (April’s book): https://www.amazon.com/Thursdays-Zoe-Unforgettable-Stories-Alzheimers/dp/1537501275
“The Best Nine Minutes” article from Power of Moms: https://powerofmoms.com/the-nine-minutes-that-have-the-greatest-impact/?tag=powofmom-20
“Five Words That People In Your Life Need to Hear” by Christy Wright: https://www.businessboutique.com/2017/01/five-words-that-people-in-your-life-need-to-hear/
April’s previous podcast on 3 in 30, “Getting Out of Overwhelm: A Step-by-Step Process”: http://3in30podcast.com/overwhelm/
A few years ago, I had a phone conversation with a friend that changed my perspective forever. She told me why she never feels mom-guilt. And I loved her wisdom and think of it often.
Listen to this week’s episode to hear her advice, as well as three strategies that I use frequently when I feel the mom-guilt sneaking in:
1) List all of the blessings that your kids have in their lives, from you and others.
2) Reject “filtered-thinking.” Zoom out so you can see the big-picture of yourself and your kids’ lives.
3) Examine whether your guilt is beckoning you higher, or dragging you down lower.
I love to hear from you! Let me know what resonated from this episode or others at @3in30podcast on Instagram or firstname.lastname@example.org.
-Organization I worked with in South Africa: https://helponenow.org/south-africa/
-More about the people I worked with in South Africa: http://fyionrachandry.blogspot.com/2016/11/i-want-to-introduce-you-to-people-who.html
-Episode about the three best tools I learned in counseling, including how to recognize and combat “filtered-thinking”: http://3in30podcast.com/ep-012-stop-mehan-3-best-tools-learned-counseling/
-Another great episode to help combat mom-guilt, “How to Be the Mom You Are, Instead of the Mom You Think You Should Be”: http://3in30podcast.com/ep-016-how-to-be-the-mom-you-are-instead-of-the-mom-you-think-you-should-be-julie-bastedo/
-Last week’s episode “How to Stop Looking at Your Phone So Much–And Why It Matters”: http://3in30podcast.com/lookup/