Posts Tagged ‘Rachel’s Story’

042: How to Love Someone When It’s Complicated or Hard: Lessons from Open Adoption

How to Love Someone When It's Complicated or Hard Lessons from Open Adoption

This is the first time I’ve ever cried while recording a podcast episode.  It’s also the first time I’ve ever recorded while whispering in a bathroom during a family reunion.  So basically, prepare yourself–this is going to be vulnerable and possibly bizarre for 3 in 30!  Ultimately, I hope it’s helpful as you navigate your own  relationships and consider how to show more love in situations that can be complicated.

The beginning of this episode is an excerpt from my interview with Tony Overbay for *his* podcast, The Virtual Couch.  Tony is such a warm and caring podcast host, I felt comfortable sharing one of the most sacred experiences of my life with him–and now I share it with you.  I can truly say that this experience with prayer changed the course of my life.

In the second half of the episode, I add three takeaways and further explain my thoughts on how to love someone when it’s hard.

This episode is truly a piece of my heart and soul.  I hope you enjoy it.

Show Notes

-Full episode on Tony Overbay’s podcast, The Virtual Couch: http://www.tonyoverbay.com/2018/05/07/episode-54-in-vitro-fertilization-and-open-adoption-w-rachel-nielson-host-of-3-in-30-takeaways-for-moms/

-Mother on Instagram who I love to follow: https://www.instagram.com/kellyejensen/

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3 Messages of Hope for the Darkest Times: Lessons from Infertility, Adoption, and Loss

Three Messages of Hope for the Darkest Times

One year ago, I saw my son’s birthmom for the last time. She had come to spend the weekend with us for Noah’s 6th birthday, and it is a weekend I will never forget.  We explored the mountains near our new home, roasted marshmallows over a summer bonfire, and poured love on the amazing little boy who had brought us all so much joy.

Before she left, we took photos on our front porch at sunset, and I marveled at the miracle of open adoption.  I snapped a photo of her kissing Noah’s cheek, never imagining that it would be the last photo I would take of them together.

Three months later, November 2017, Katie took her own life after a long battle with mental illness.  I recorded this episode a few days after I received the news of her death. As I grappled with how I could possibly face this loss, I decided to share “Three Messages of Hope for the Darkest Times.” Within this episode, I talk about my journey with infertility, which ultimately lead me the miracle of Noah and his beautiful birthmom, Katie.

I re-air the episode today in honor of Noah’s birthday, which I always shared with Katie.

Noah's Birth

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Show Notes

Infertility and Adoption Grants: bundledblessingsfertility.com

I want to meet you!

-Rediscover YOU! Workshop in Utah (September 28-29): https://www.eventbrite.com/e/rediscover-you-workshop-tickets-47833978718

-The Pearl Conference In Las Vegas, NV (November 17): https://www.eventbrite.com/e/the-pearl-conference-a-conference-for-mothers-tickets-48097368524

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039: Leaving a Legacy of Love for Our Children: A Musical Tribute to My Mama

A daughter's recollections of her mother's last few years of life, and the songs that brought them together

July 14th marked 15 years since my mother passed away from breast cancer.  I’ve been thinking about this milestone for months, and it occurred to me that I could use music to honor her.

Most people don’t know that I am a singer, and within this episode, you will hear me sing five different songs that remind me of my mother.  I will tell the story behind each song, and you will see how they all weave together to create a picture of the legacy that my mother left for me.

This episode is truly a piece of my heart.  My hope is that it will bring you hope and perspective in your own motherhood journey.

Adelaide and her adoring parents

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How to Stop Being Mean to Yourself (Encore!)

3 Tools I Learned in Counseling to Manage Negative Self-Talk and Unhealthy Behaviorsd

The past few weeks at our house have been so busy that I’ve slipped into some negative self-talk and coping behaviors. Whenever this happens, I feel so frustrated with myself, thinking, “Rachel, you know better than this!  You’ve learned great strategies in counseling over the past six years to help you stay in the positive!”

That’s when I remind myself that recovery isn’t linear.  We can have little setbacks along the way, without being all the way back at the beginning.  Yes, I’ve come a long way since the beginning of my therapy journey, but I’m still learning and practicing–and that’s okay.

This Encore episode is as much as reminder for ME as it is for you.  I’ve recorded a new intro to tell you what’s going on in my life right now, and then I re-air what I consider to be one of the most important episodes I’ve ever published.

Whether or not you’ve listened to this episode before, I hope you will listen!

 

Show Notes

The Surprising Way I Confronted my Eating Disorder” (narrative therapy): https://powerofmoms.com/eating-disorder/

Unhealthy Stress or Habits? Break the Cycle!” (podcast on Power of Moms): https://powerofmoms.com/unhealthy-stress/

“Listening to and Loving your Body through Intuitive Eating” (podcast on Power of Moms): https://powerofmoms.com/intuitive-eating/

 

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012: How to Stop Being Mean to Yourself: 3 of the Best Tools I Learned in Counseling

Three strategies to stop negative self-talk

Five years ago, I realized that I needed to go to counseling.  I had been coping with stress and heartache through both undereating and overeating for almost ten years, and my negative thoughts about myself had become debilitating and all-consuming.

I sought treatment from an outpatient eating disorder clinic, and I fully expected my counselor to teach me how to control my eating; instead, my counselor went to the root of the problem and taught me how to control my thinking.

I learned that destructive behaviors (such as eating disorders) are part of a three-part cycle: we have a negative thought about ourselves, we then feel a negative emotion about ourselves, and we then cope with that feeling through a destructive behavior.  In order to stop this cycle, we must have strategies to stop the negative self-talk that starts it all in the first place!

Whether or not you’ve ever struggled with an eating disorder, I think this episode will benefit you.  I share three of the best tools that I learned in counseling:

 

1) Reject “filtered thinking” and embrace “big-picture thinking.”

2) Talk to yourself the way you would talk to your best friend, sister, or daughter.

3) Use “coping statements” to help  you re-center and stay calm in moments when you might spiral into despair.

 

I truly believe that almost no topic is more important for women and mothers–so I hope you will listen, and let me know what you think in the comments.

Additional Resources

Unhealthy Stress or Habits? Break the Cycle (podcast with Power of Moms): https://powerofmoms.com/unhealthy-stress/

Listening to and Loving your Body through Intuitive Eating (podcast with Power of Moms): https://powerofmoms.com/intuitive-eating/

It Is What It Is” (article with a list of coping strategies): https://powerofmoms.com/it-is-what-it-is/

The Surprising Way I Confronted my Eating Disorder” (full narrative therapy): https://powerofmoms.com/eating-disorder/

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