I think we all know that parenting can be hard– but from what I’ve heard, step-parenting is even harder. Think about some of the struggles you face with your children– maybe it’s dealing with sassy attitudes or figuring out the rules and technology expectations in your home. Then imagine trying to navigate all of that with children who also have another parent or set of parents and another home they live in part of the time. I can only imagine how complicated that must get and how many big emotions are involved.
Today’s guest, Amanda Louder–a life coach, podcaster, mother of three, and stepmother of two–gives three takeaways that have helped her navigate and embrace her blended family:
1) Treat your step children as equals to your own children: give them the same amount of love, responsibility, and discipline
2) Understand that he was their dad first
3) Try to find a new family culture
Amanda has such a positive outlook as she strives to “live from love” in the relationships she has with all of her children.
Podcast: Live from Love
“To the Mom Who Doesn’t Feel Like a Mother, Yet”– blog post by Katie Davis Majors
“Parenting After Divorce” online Conference–sign up soon because it ends March 15th!
They say love is patient; love is kind. But the truth is, sometimes it’s not EASY for love to be either of those things, especially when you are facing a devastating betrayal.
“Betrayal” can be discovering a spouse’s affair or addiction, learning that he/she has not been honest in their business dealings and has put the family’s well-being in jeopardy, and many other situations. You are faced with shattering grief, and often don’t know where to turn for support because the trial is so personal and involves someone else. It can feel so isolating.
Mika Perry—a mother, blogger, and professional organizer—has been there. In 2012 she discovered that her husband, Russ, was having an affair. Over the years since, she and Russ have worked toward healing and now openly share their story to help those suffering in silence.
Today on the show, Mika shares her experience of what life after betrayal looked like for her and how it ultimately led to a life of truth, abundance, faith, and purpose.
This is an incredibly personal and tender topic, and whether or not you choose to stay married after a betrayal, this episode will bring you hope. Please pass the episode along to someone who might need to know they are not alone.
Mika’s Instagram: @mikaperry
Mika’s website: mikaperry.com
-The blog post where Mika first opened up about the affair:
Mika and Russ’ podcast “Good to be Home.” Episode 2 is where Mika and Russ share their story
Russ Perry’s book, The Sober Entrepreneur: starts with affair and goes through the process of getting sober and building a business.
If you are struggling with betrayal trauma, here are some resources:
Caitlin Olson, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, specializes in addiction recovery and betrayal trauma. You can find her on Instagram: @caitlinolsenmft
Sariah Hoffman, certified yoga therapist, of @backpocketyoga on Instagram
Ashlynn and Coby on Instagram: @ashlynnandcoby and their podcast “The Betrayed, The Addicted, The Expert” features 3 different perspectives on topics dealing with relationships, recovery, betrayal and addiction.
Rachel and Jenae specialize in betrayal trauma (BT)- find them on Instagram: @couchtalktime
Center for Hope and Healing in Lehi, UT
Betrayal Trauma Recovery btr.org
What Can I Do About Me? by Rhyll Ann Croshaw
Treating Trauma from Sexual Betrayal by Kevin Skinner
This is the first time I’ve ever cried while recording a podcast episode. It’s also the first time I’ve ever recorded while whispering in a bathroom during a family reunion. So basically, prepare yourself–this is going to be vulnerable and possibly bizarre for 3 in 30! Ultimately, I hope it’s helpful as you navigate your own relationships and consider how to show more love in situations that can be complicated.
The beginning of this episode is an excerpt from my interview with Tony Overbay for *his* podcast, The Virtual Couch. Tony is such a warm and caring podcast host, I felt comfortable sharing one of the most sacred experiences of my life with him–and now I share it with you. I can truly say that this experience with prayer changed the course of my life.
In the second half of the episode, I add three takeaways and further explain my thoughts on how to love someone when it’s hard.
This episode is truly a piece of my heart and soul. I hope you enjoy it.
-Full episode on Tony Overbay’s podcast, The Virtual Couch: http://www.tonyoverbay.com/2018/05/07/episode-54-in-vitro-fertilization-and-open-adoption-w-rachel-nielson-host-of-3-in-30-takeaways-for-moms/
-Mother on Instagram who I love to follow: https://www.instagram.com/kellyejensen/
She’s back!! In April, Dr. Katie Penry taught us “how to stop looking at our phones so much–and why it matters.” Now she is back on the show to teach us the next step in this process.
Listen in as this licensed clinical psychologist, who is also a mother of two children, teaches us very doable steps to build the kind of relationships with our kids where we truly see and respect them for who they are–and they do the same for us in return.
Dr. Penry is a treasure-trove of practical knowledge for families. You don’t want to miss this episode!
-Part 1 with Dr. Katie Penry, “How to Stop Looking at Your Phone So Much–And Why It Matters”: http://3in30podcast.com/phones/
-Look Up Challenge: https://afriendlyaffair.lpages.co/look-up-challenge/
-Dr. Penry’s eCourse: Your Child’s Fundamental Needs: afriendlyaffair.com/needs
-Meditations from a Toolshed, C.S. Lewis: http://www.pacificaoc.org/wp-content/uploads/Meditation-in-a-Toolshed.pdf
I want to meet you!
-Rediscover YOU! Workshop in Utah (September 28-29): https://www.eventbrite.com/e/rediscover-you-workshop-tickets-47833978718
-The Pearl Conference In Las Vegas, NV (November 17): https://www.eventbrite.com/e/the-pearl-conference-a-conference-for-mothers-tickets-48097368524
He’s baaccck! Our favorite male guest is back on the podcast today teaching us how to talk to our children in a way that fosters trust and communication–so they know they can talk to us into their teenage years and beyond.
Tony Overbay is a Licensed Family and Marriage Therapist and a father of four young adults, so he has professional and personal experience with this topic. Whether you are currently parenting teenagers, or you will be parenting teenagers in a few years, there is something for you in this episode!
Listen in to learn how to truly…
1) Invite open and honest communication, no matter what
2) Listen with empathy and recognize emotional bids (EFT)
3) Follow up to let your children know that their thoughts matter to you
-Tony’s first episode on 3 in 30, “How to Praise Your Child, Even When It Feels Like There is Nothing to Praise”: http://3in30podcast.com/praise/
-Tony’s website: tonyoverbay.com
-Tony’s podcast, The Virtual Couch: http://www.tonyoverbay.com/category/podcast/
–Tony’s top parenting book recommendation: Transforming the Difficult Child: The Nurtured-Heart Approach, https://amzn.to/2ucXf3C
-Emotionally-Focused Therapy, Sue Johnson: http://drsuejohnson.com/emotionally-focused-therapy-2/what-is-eft/