A few years ago, I had a phone conversation with a friend that changed my perspective forever. She told me why she never feels mom-guilt. And I loved her wisdom and think of it often.
Listen to this week’s episode to hear her advice, as well as three strategies that I use frequently when I feel the mom-guilt sneaking in:
1) List all of the blessings that your kids have in their lives, from you and others.
2) Reject “filtered-thinking.” Zoom out so you can see the big-picture of yourself and your kids’ lives.
3) Examine whether your guilt is beckoning you higher, or dragging you down lower.
I love to hear from you! Let me know what resonated from this episode or others at @3in30podcast on Instagram or firstname.lastname@example.org.
-Organization I worked with in South Africa: https://helponenow.org/south-africa/
-More about the people I worked with in South Africa: http://fyionrachandry.blogspot.com/2016/11/i-want-to-introduce-you-to-people-who.html
-Episode about the three best tools I learned in counseling, including how to recognize and combat “filtered-thinking”: http://3in30podcast.com/ep-012-stop-mehan-3-best-tools-learned-counseling/
-Another great episode to help combat mom-guilt, “How to Be the Mom You Are, Instead of the Mom You Think You Should Be”: http://3in30podcast.com/ep-016-how-to-be-the-mom-you-are-instead-of-the-mom-you-think-you-should-be-julie-bastedo/
-Last week’s episode “How to Stop Looking at Your Phone So Much–And Why It Matters”: http://3in30podcast.com/lookup/
As mothers, this can be a hard stage of life to find and maintain meaningful friendships.
Many of us feel busy and overwhelmed–barely managing the needs of our own families.
Opportunities to connect with other women might feel scarce, depending on the ages and needs of our children.
Sometimes it’s just easier to give a friendly wave or a quick hello in the hallway at church than to invest in a real friendship with someone.
In this week’s episode, Brooke Romney, a mother of four and a professional writer, shares totally doable ways that we can be good friends to other women, even if we are busy, shy, or maxed out on life.
Brooke discusses each of the following takeaways, offering concrete ideas within each:
1) Take advantage of small opportunities to build connection by simply being present wherever we are.
2) Follow the advice that we give our children about being a good friend.
3) Don’t wait for life conditions to be perfect before extending friendship to others.
Don’t miss this conversation where we learn how to go beyond just being friendly, to start being real friends.
-Brooke’s website: http://brookeromney.com/
-Brooke’s article in the Deseret News: “It’s Time to Stop Being Friendly and Start Being a Friend”
-Rachel’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/3in30podcast/
-Brooke’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/brookeromneywrites/
Five years ago, I realized that I needed to go to counseling. I had been coping with stress and heartache through both undereating and overeating for almost ten years, and my negative thoughts about myself had become debilitating and all-consuming.
I sought treatment from an outpatient eating disorder clinic, and I fully expected my counselor to teach me how to control my eating; instead, my counselor went to the root of the problem and taught me how to control my thinking.
I learned that destructive behaviors (such as eating disorders) are part of a three-part cycle: we have a negative thought about ourselves, we then feel a negative emotion about ourselves, and we then cope with that feeling through a destructive behavior. In order to stop this cycle, we must have strategies to stop the negative self-talk that starts it all in the first place!
Whether or not you’ve ever struggled with an eating disorder, I think this episode will benefit you. I share three of the best tools that I learned in counseling:
1) Reject “filtered thinking” and embrace “big-picture thinking.”
2) Talk to yourself the way you would talk to your best friend, sister, or daughter.
3) Use “coping statements” to help you re-center and stay calm in moments when you might spiral into despair.
I truly believe that almost no topic is more important for women and mothers–so I hope you will listen, and let me know what you think in the comments.
Listening to and Loving your Body through Intuitive Eating (podcast with Power of Moms): https://powerofmoms.com/intuitive-eating/
“The Surprising Way I Confronted my Eating Disorder” (full narrative therapy): https://powerofmoms.com/eating-disorder/
Though you may never have defined it as “soul fever” before, all parents have witnessed this malady taking over their children from time to time…when kids have had too much excitement, too little sleep, too much sugar, and too little downtime–and their behavior shows it!
On today’s episode, Carrie Thomas Scott–a licensed professional counselor and a mother herself–uses the four pillars of Simplicity Parenting to teach us how to protect our kids from catching a “soul fever” this holiday season.
Listen in for concrete strategies on how to help your children stay balanced and soul-healthy this holiday using these four pillars:
4. Filtering Out the Adult World
Simplicity Parenting by Kim John Payne
This week my little sister Laura Webb, a mother of two young children and a Chemistry and Math teacher–“not a writer!” she is quick to point out–will share her ideas for easy ways that we can fit record-keeping into our busy lives as moms.
Listen in as Laura details ideas for how to…
- Use technology to help us capture memories
- Find routine times or triggers to remind us to journal
- Remember that something is better than nothing when it comes to documenting our lives
What are your best ideas for keeping records of your motherhood experience? Please share them in the comments or on Instagram @3in30podcast. We want to learn from you!
How to Journal as a Busy Mom (Rachel’s article for Power of Moms)
Feature Image: Alexis Johnson Photography (Eagle River, Alaska)
Webb Family Photo: Brynmarae Photography (Denver, Colorado)