177: Love-Centered Parenting // Crystal Paine

April 12, 2021

Posted in Communicate for Connection, How to Stop Yelling at Your Kids, Love Your People, Positive Parenting

What do you believe your job is as a mother?

This is the question that today’s guest Crystal Paine asked the community of women who follow along with her popular blog and Instagram account, The MoneySaving Mom. The answers she received didn’t surprise her because she herself had spent years defining her job as a mom in the same ways that her community of readers was now defining themselves. Crystal says that “the majority of the responses were along the lines of…

My job as a parent is to raise responsible, independent adults.
My job as a parent is to raise godly children who love Jesus with all their hearts.
My job as a parent is to raise kids who make good choices and are people with good morals and character.”

These are all very valid and good aspirations for parenting, BUT…are any of those outcomes truly in a parent’s control? And does a focus on trying to make sure our kids turn out a certain way really lead to us parenting from a place of fear and control, rather than parenting from a place of love and trust?

These are the questions that Crystal has grappled with over the past 16 years as she’s parented her four biological children, as well as the foster children whom she’s been honored to have in her home. In her latest book Love-Centered Parenting, Crystal shares how she has transformed from a parent who was obsessed with appearances and outcomes to a parent who is obsessed with love–specifically the love that God has for her and how she can pour that love onto her children.

I can’t for you to hear this conversation with her today!

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-Three Takeaways for Love-Centered Parenting-

1. Lean in and Love.

Leaning in to Love-Centered Parenting might look like sending up a flare prayer when you are about to lose it and extending your children patience and kindness instead of shutting down their feelings with your anger. Love-centered parenting must include the ability to slow down and listen to our children when they are upset.

2. Listen well.

Listening isn’t just about hearing the words that they say, though that is important too…it’s about giving them the benefit of the doubt when they aren’t at their best and listening to their behaviors. Can you tell they are feeling stressed out? Discouraged? Overstimulated? Listening well means going to them and saying “How can I help you?” instead of coming at them with another lecture.

3. Lead with humility.

Love-Centered Parenting isn’t about being perfectly patient and loving all the time, and we don’t have to be. Remember that relationships are strengthened through repair, so when you mess up with your kids, just go to them and apologize. “A soft answer turneth away wrath,” and when you approach your children with gentle humility, they will soften towards you as well. This kind of parenting will truly build the relationships within our homes.

>>>Will you try any of these tips about Love-Centered Parenting? What would you add to her takeaways? Tell us in the comments below!

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-Get in touch with Crystal!-

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–Links mentioned in this episode about Love-Centered Parenting-

Crystal’s book! Love-Centered Parenting by Crystal Paine
Podcast episode with Georgia Anderson about the power of repair in relationships
Podcast episode with Dr. Laura Markham about sibling rivalry

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–Sponsor-

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If you are interested in checking out what Jane.com has to offer, they actually helped me create a curated shop page especially for 3 in 30 listeners with some of my favorite items displayed. You can see the deals I hand-picked for you at jane.com/3in30.

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-Related Episodes to Love Centered Parenting-

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