212: Positive Mindset Shifts for Raising a Spirited or Sensitive Child // Hannah and Kelty from Upbringing

December 13, 2021

Posted in Love Your People, Parenting Strong-Willed Kids, When Parenting is Hard

If you have spirited or sensitive kids, I want you to know you are not alone. If you look around my house, you might see some evidence of the fact that I am raising strongwilled children as well!

For example, there’s a hole in my son’s bedroom door where several years ago, he smashed a wooden sword through it in a fit of anger. I can laugh now, but I was not so amused when it happened, and neither was he. I remember that he immediately started sobbing and shaking in embarrassment over what he had done and fear over what my reaction would be-because honestly, he hadn’t realized how destructive his anger was. It was hard for me to stay angry at him when I saw just how scared he was by what he was feeling and what he had done.

I will eventually have my son pay to replace that door, but in the meantime, I kind of enjoy having a peephole into his room so I can make sure he’s cleaning up when I ask him to, and I can shout messages through like “I love you more than anything!” and he can slide rolled up notes to me when he is feeling emotional and wants to process.

Raising strongwilled children is an adventure not for the faint of heart, and today I am so excited to be speaking with two moms who are experts on raising spirited and sensitive kids.

Hannah & Kelty are twins, coaches and speakers behind the parenting movement Upbringing. Certified in Simplicity Parenting, Positive Discipline and trained in Nonviolent Communication and Foundations of the respectful parenting approach, RIE, Upbringing empowers parents in over 100 countries to show up + grow up alongside their kids when it comes to daily discipline.

– 3 Takeaways for Raising a Spirited or Sensitive Child-

Let’s flip our BELIEFS about our spirited child. Instead of thinking “There is something wrong with them or with me because they are acting this way” think “They are worthy and perfect just as they are, and they are showing me that the world is a lot for them. I am capable of supporting them and seeing their spirit / sensitivity as a VALUABLE and necessary part of their personality.”
Let’s flip our GOALS for raising a spirited child. Rather than insisting on obedience and “good behavior” by trying to control them through fear and punishments, let’s focus on connecting with them and helping them build emotional skills. Guiding them through connection building skills will lead to their long-lasting growth and healthy relationships with themselves and others.
Let’s flip what we believe our ROLE is in raising a spirited child. We do not have to be the judge, jury, and enforcer in their lives. We can show up in a sensitive support staff capacity- normalizing conflicting needs, de-escalating conflict and teaching them how to process it, and fostering connection to self and others.

>>>Are these tips about how to raise a spirited child helpful? What would you add to their takeaways? Tell us in the comments below.

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