222: How to Repair after a Fight with your Partner // Jocelyn and Aaron Freeman

Listen to Top Motherhood Podcast, 3 in 30 Podcast, featuring Jocelyn and Aaron Freeman, about How to Repair after a Fight with your Partner.

https://onlinecouplesworkshops.com/repair Is it easy or difficult for you to repair and "make up" after a fight with your spouse?

 

Not too long ago, my husband Ryan and I got in a fight about who should be responsible for waking the kids up for school. In the end, we BOTH woke them up for school with our raised voices, which felt ironic, and the kids emerged from their rooms with wide eyes, wondering what Mom and Dad were arguing about.

 

Seeing the kids' concern, Ryan and I were able to take a deep breath and calm ourselves down, bring them in for a family huddle and talk about how everything in our family was okay…Mom and Dad were both feeling a bit tired, burned out, and underappreciated due to the exhaustion of family life, but we still love each other and them, and all parents argue sometimes. It's just part of being in close relationships with other human beings.

 

Today on the podcast, I am so excited to introduce a couple who have become experts on healing and repairing after a fight. Jocelyn and Aaron Freeman are the authors of The Argument Hangover: Empowering Couples to Fight Smarter and Overcome Communication Pitfalls. 

 

Through their coaching practice and their couples workshops, they have helped over 800,000 people with the Relationship Skills to communicate better and resolve conflicts faster, and they will be sharing some of their secrets with us today.

 

If you ever have conflicts in your marriage or partnership--or really in any of the relationships in your life--I know this episode will bless your life, and I am grateful to you for tuning in.

 

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3 Takeaways for How to Repair after a Fight:

 

  1. REFLECT: Either after a fight happens or even in the midst of it if you take a breather, take time to reflect on the actual cause of the conflict--the deep down cause. Was there an expectation that wasn't met? Was it vocalized? WHY did you have that expectation? Or feelings from your childhood or your deepest fears coming up for you? Do some digging so you can LEARN from the conflict as you move forward. Make sure you also reflect on where you could take responsibility for the conflict, instead of solely blaming your partner.

 

  1. RECONNECT: After you’ve reflected, aim to reconnect more quickly than you normally would. In the “Argument Hangover” period, the tendency can be to be frustrated and disconnected for hours, days, even weeks sometimes. Shorten that length of time by vulnerably going to your partner and asking to repair. Take responsibility for your part and ask, "Is there any other impact on you?" Then be willing to listen.

 

  1. REMIND: Remind each other what you’ve both committed to and what your agreements are. These agreements should be made in a calm, connected moment when you decide how you will fight smart--what behaviors will not engage in as a couple when you are feeling frustrated with each other. You can honor yourself and your relationship by reminding each other of those agreements and what you commit to moving forward as you repair from a conflict.

 

>>>Are these tips about how to repair after a fight helpful? What would you add to the takeaways? Tell us in the comments below.

 

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-Get in touch with the Freemans!-

 

Instagram: @meetthefreemans

Website: https://www.meetthefreemans.com/

Free Course: https://onlinecouplesworkshops.com/repair

Book: The Argument Hangover 

 

-Sponsors-

  • Bombas: Get 20% off your first purchase at bombas.com/3in30.
  • HiYa Health: Use code 3IN30 to get 50% off your first purchase of children's vitamins.
  • BetterHelp: Use the code 3IN30 to get 10% off your first month of online counseling.

 

-Mentioned in the Episode-

 


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1 Comment

  1. Alicia Hopes on 05/06/2022 at 10:46 AM

    […] Listen to the podcast episode from The Freeman’s on 3in30 here. […]

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