228: 3 Tools to Support Siblings When Bringing Home a New Baby // Hannah and Kelty from Upbringing

For all you mamas of one out there, what do you envision when you imagine adding a second baby to your family? And for all of your mamas of multiple out there, what do you remember about adding a second baby to your family?

My guests on the podcast today are Hannah and Kelty, the twin sisters and founders of the parenting movement Upbringing. They said this to me and it resonated so deeply that I just had to write it down. Kelty said:

“I thought [adding another baby] would mean more love, more snuggles, more squidgy little feet, more laughter, more connection. And it definitely did add all of that! But I didn’t realize all the other more things that would happen. More crying, more anxiety, more stress, more messes, more juggling, and more divide and conquer existence with my partner…”

Doesn’t that sound about right? Adding a new baby to your family, whether it’s your first baby or your fifth, always comes with a lot of emotions and change–all the highs and lows! And that is why today’s guests Hannah and Kelty are so passionate about helping families to ease this transition and why they have created an online course called Right From the Start, which supports parents during the first year of a baby’s life.

Hannah and Kelty are certified in Simplicity Parenting, Positive Discipline and trained in Nonviolent Communication and Foundations of the respectful parenting approach or RIE. Their organization Upbringing empowers parents in over 100 countries to show up and grow up alongside their kids when it comes to daily discipline.

 

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  1. Show. Ask yourself: what are the other changes that will come with the transition of a new baby, and can we start slowly bringing those changes in now, before the baby is born? For example, if you’re going to be feeding the baby in the mornings, can your partner start getting up with the other children now? Or can grandma start picking up the kids from school a couple times a week?
  2. Tell. As we shift our environment and show our kids what will change with the arrival of the new baby, questions might arise. Respond to their questions in a curiously rather than in a warning tone about what they will or will not be able to do once the baby comes. Open and respectful communication is the basis of loving family life, and this is a great time to practice that skill.
  3. Love. Wouldn’t it be amazing if our children could come to us and express their anxieties through words? Since they are not yet equipped with that awareness, we can initiate those conversations ourselves to allow them to express their worries and emotions, and we can choose to love them through their hardest behaviors. Because remember–  behavior IS communication, especially for children; they need to know that we are always there, loving them through it.

 

>>>Are these tips about how to help siblings after a new baby helpful? What would you add to the takeaways? Tell us in the comments below.

 

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-Related Episodes like this one about Supporting Siblings After a New Baby-

 

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