You have probably heard me talking about SAM these past few weeks, as we are gearing up to open the doors for enrollment next week, and we couldn’t be more excited.
Today’s guest, Stacey Collins, is a HUGE part of the Self-Assured Motherhood program–she manages the community boards, connects with the women in the group to make sure they are supported, and helps me create and teach the curriculum. I wanted you to get to know her a bit better today, so you can get a feel for our teaching style together and some of the content we cover in much more depth within the program. I also wanted to let you know that Stacey and I will be teaching some free live masterclasses together over the next several weeks to introduce the nine-pillars of Self-Assured Motherhood, so if you like what you hear today and want to learn more from us, go to 3in30podcast.com/freeclass to reserve your spot for our free masterclass, which is going to be so impactful.
“Boundaries” is a bit of a buzz word right now, and I’d say we typically think of it in the context of work or of social or extended family relationships. It’s common to hear people talking about setting a boundary with a demanding co-worker or boss, a self-centered friend, or an overbearing in-law. What we don’t hear about as often is the idea of setting boundaries with our children.
The concept of having boundaries with our kids can feel a bit foreign and possibly selfish, but it can actually be one of the most loving things you do for your parent-child relationship. We are going to talk about that and so much more in today’s episode.
Stacey is mom of three kids, ages seven, four and two. She has a Masters Degree in Education and taught elementary school with Teach for America for several years, then went on to train teachers for their programs. She has additional certifications in Simplicity Parenting and Tinkergarten, and she says that her “theory of change is that healthy homes create healthy people, and a confident woman who knows herself AND knows healthy parenting strategies is the best person to affect social and systemic change both inside and outside of her home.”
We decided on the topic of setting boundaries with your children because that was one of the areas that the women in our last round of the Self-Assured Motherhood Program struggled with the most. She pulled some of the best takeaways from that class to teach us in today’s episode.
3 Takeaways about Setting Boundaries with Kids from Stacey Collins
- Connect – You connect with the emotion. This is such an important part of it. Dr Becky talks about behavior as the tip of the iceberg, and there is so much swirling underneath that needs to be addressed before you can truly tackle the iceberg. Connecting is the answer to that. When you connect with a child, you are saying “I see you, I hear you, you and your problems are important to me.”
- Correct – Explain the desired behavior. This is where it gets tricky! It is hard to think about what we want other than immediate stopping. But this is where you tell your child the ideal, and try to hold on to that connection piece.
- Redirect or Expect – You follow through. It is better to have no limit at all than one you’re not willing to enforce. A hammer has little value without a plan.
>>>Are these tips about Setting Boundaries from Stacey Collins helpful? What would you add to the takeaways? Tell us in the comments below.
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- Episode 136: How to set Loving Boundaries for your Children, Part 1 // Dr. Katie Penry
- Episode 137: How to set Loving Boundaries for your Children, Part 2 // Dr. Katie Penry
- Episode 232: Minimizing Power Struggles // Denaye Barahona