I will be teaching a class at Pinner’s Conference in Utah which is happening on Friday, November 4th and Saturday, November 5th, and I would love for you to come! Pinners is a conference featuring over 100 classes on a huge variety of topics, and it’s also a market with over 200 small businesses featuring their creative, unique products.
Almost nothing can make a parent second-guess themselves as much as setting rules and boundaries with their kids. “Was I too harsh? Was I too lenient? Should I let that annoying behavior go, or should I give a consequence?
First of all, I just want to say that you are doing a really good job. Truly. Parenting is hard, and there is NO WAY to do it perfectly all the time.
In today’s episode, I invited my friend and colleague Stacey Collins back to the podcast for a follow up–a part 2–about how to hold boundaries with your children. After we aired her first episode last month, we got some questions from listeners through email and Instagram asking for guidance on their specific situations with their children.We hope our three takeaways in this episode can help you as you are figuring out what boundaries and rules you want to have within your home.
1) A rule is different than a boundary. A rule is an expectation in your home that has a consequence linked to it. You don’t have rules for other adults, but you definitely have them with kids. One could argue it is about controlling the other person, but I like to think of it as helping the other person grow to their potential and these rules are making it possible. Every situation does not require a boundary OR a rule. Sometimes it’s okay to just let it go. If it becomes a repeated issue in your house, you may want to figure out a boundary or rule.
2) Deciding on your rules and boundaries needs to be careful and deliberate, because you can’t set every boundary, especially with certain kids. What works for one kid, does not work for another. The saying goes, “The same heat that softens a carrot, hardens an egg.” Parenting and boundaries require flexibility .
3) The child’s reaction to your thoughtful boundary doesn’t need to be managed. You can totally hold space and have empathy for their response, but the response itself is just them expressing their feelings.
>>>Are these tips from Stacey Collins about Boundaries helpful? What would you add to the takeaways? Tell us in the comments below.
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-Related Episodes like this one about Boundaries-
- Episode 251: How to Set Boundaries with your Children
- Episode 136: How to set Loving Boundaries for your Children, Part 1 // Dr. Katie Penry
- Episode 137: How to set Loving Boundaries for your Children, Part 2 // Dr. Katie Penry
- Episode 232: Minimizing Power Struggles // Denaye Barahona
- Episode 180: 3 Secrets to Helping Your Children Behave Well // Ralphie Jacobs