276: How to Stop Giving the “Silent Treatment” after a Fight // Aaron and Jocelyn Freeman
Is it easy or difficult for you to repair and "make up" after a fight with your spouse?
Today I am re-airing an episode that originally aired just over a year ago all about how to repair with your partner after a fight. The guests are Aaron and Jocelyn Freeman who you might know from Instagram as @meetthefreemans.
By way of introduction of our guests: Jocelyn and Aaron Freeman are the authors of The Argument Hangover: Empowering Couples to Fight Smarter and Overcome Communication Pitfalls. Through their coaching practice and their couple's workshops, they have helped over a million people with the relationship skills to communicate better and resolve conflicts faster, and they will be sharing some of their secrets with us.
If you ever have conflicts in your marriage or partnership--or really in any of the relationships in your life--I know this episode will bless your life, and I am grateful to you for tuning in.
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3 Takeaways for How to Repair after a Fight:
- REFLECT: Reflect after a fight happens or even in the midst of it. If you take a breather, take time to reflect on the actual cause of the conflict. Do some digging so you can learn from the conflict as you move forward. Make sure you also reflect on where you could take responsibility for the conflict instead of solely blaming your partner.
- RECONNECT: After you've reflected, aim to reconnect more quickly than you normally would in the argument hangover period. Take responsibility for your part and ask, "is there any other impact on you?" And then be willing to listen.
- REMIND: Remind each other what you've both committed to and what your agreements are. "Agreements" are what behaviors you will not engage in as a couple, such as leave the room or swear during an argument. These agreements should be made in a calm, connected moment when you decide how you will fight smart.
>>>Are these tips about how to stop giving the silent treatment helpful? What would you add to the takeaways? Tell us in the comments below.
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-Get in touch with the Freemans!-
Instagram: @meetthefreemans
Website: https://www.meetthefreemans.com/
Course: Making Up & Moving Forward
Free Course: https://onlinecouplesworkshops.com/repair
Book: The Argument Hangover
-Sponsors-
- Factor: Go to factormeals.com/3in3050 and use code 3in3050 to get 50% off your first box.
- Fabric: Life insurance designed by parents for parents to help you get a high quality surprisingly affordable term life insurance policy in less than 10 minutes.
- BetterHelp: This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Use the code 3in30 to get 10% off your first month of online therapy!
-Mentioned in the Episode-
- Making Up & Moving Forward: a step-by-step guide to repair after an argument.
- Podcast episode about "If it's hysterical, it's historical": https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/finding-you-an-evoke-therapy-podcast/id1157223571?i=1000549806362
- Podcast episode about anti-racism and impact over intent: https://3in30podcast.com/113-teach-kids-about-racism/
- Freeman's Free Course: https://onlinecouplesworkshops.com/repair
-Related Episodes for How to Stop Giving the Silent Treatment and to Repair after a Fight-
