298: How to the Mom you Are – Instead of the Mom you THINK you Should Be // Julie Bastedo


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I devote an entire month to exploring celebrating your strengths in my Self-Assured Motherhood program, which will open for enrollment in the fall. So if you like what you hear today, I know you’d love that program, and I hope you’ll join the waitlist by texting the word SAM to 33777.



I try not to pick favorites, but if I were forced to choose a favorite episode, this would be one of them. Our guest is Julie Bastedo, one of my friends and mentors from my teaching days in Buffalo, New York. She is full of warmth and wisdom and I know you are going to feel uplifted after you hear from her.  Julie has two beautiful children, and she has been a high school English teacher for over 25 years, so she has actually mothered thousands of teenagers. Isn’t that incredible? 


Julie’s message today is for any woman who has ever felt weighed down by comparison and feeling like she’s not enough. As I mentioned in last week’s episode, we are doing a series of encore episodes right now all about the three pillars of self-assured motherhood, and this episode today fits right into our first pillar of “Know Yourself.” You’ll hear Julie talk about how important it is to know yourself and what you are good at (and what you’re not) and to stop pinning after the mom that you think you “should be” in order to start embracing the mom that you actually are! 



Takeaways from Julie on How to Be the Mom You Are:

  1. Make a list of things that you do well, and put it somewhere you can see it. It might also be worthwhile to make a list of things that you do not do well or have no desire to do well, and just start to view that list in a matter-of-fact way, with acceptance and love for yourself.
  2. Use social media as “ancillary material,” or in other words, as a way to enhance the strengths you already have. Do not follow accounts that make you feel bad about yourself or what you are offering the world–or that encourage you to constantly seek improvement or to change who you are.
  3. Recognize that you will serve as both a source of happiness AND a source of disappointment for those that you meet, and that’s okay. In the words of Jody Moore, “What other people think of you is none of your business.”

>>>Are these tips helpful? ? What would you add to the takeaways? Tell us in the comments below.




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Mentioned in the Episode

“People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.  If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.  If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies. Succeed anyway. If you are honest and sincere, people may deceive you. Be honest and sincere anyway. What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight. Create anyway.  If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous. Be happy anyway.  The good you do today will often be forgotten. Do good anyway. Give the best you have, and it may never be enough. Give your best anyway.In the final analysis, it’s between you and God.It was never between you and them anyway.”

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