If today’s episode really resonates with you, or if you’re struggling with emotional intelligence, and find yourself angry more than you’d like to be, I hope you will join me for a free masterclass in September. There are three dates to choose from, and I will be live on Zoom for each one of them. You can go to 3in30podcast.com/freeclass to sign up now. I can’t wait to dive deeper into this topic with you!
In my podcast introduction which you hear every week and you just heard moments ago, I mention my three pillars of Self-Assured Motherhood: Know your Self, Honor your Needs, and Love your People. Today’s episode is going to give more insight into all three, and how Knowing your Self, which I purposely put first as the foundational pillar in my framework, is the key to everything else.
Our guest today, to teach us how to know ourselves better, is Alyssa Blask Campbell, CEO of Seed & Sew, a platform that offers consultations and courses on emotional intelligence, as well as creating a modern parenting village. She has a master’s degree in early childhood education, is a leading expert in emotional development, and travels the globe speaking on the topic. Her first book, TINY HUMANS, BIG EMOTIONS: How to Navigate Tantrums, Meltdowns, and Defiance to Raise Emotionally Intelligent Children publishes on October 10, and you can pre-order it NOW. I am thrilled to have Alyssa on the podcast this week talking about emotional intelligence–what it is, and how we can foster it in ourselves and in our children. This is Alyssa’s second time coming on the podcast, and I can’t wait for you to hear from her again.
3 Takeaways from Alyssa on fostering Emotional Intelligence:
- Notice how you feel throughout the day. Try leaving a notebook out in a place you frequent during your day, or set a recurring timer to remind you to observe how you feel in your body and your emotions. This is how we build self awareness, which is foundational for self regulation. You can’t regulate what you’re not aware of.
- Build your toolbox of coping strategies: Take the time to discover your own coping strategies, for your own unique nervous system. What does your body need you to do when you are feeling big emotions? You could push up against the wall, take a dance break, or squeeze your hands tightly and release. You could swing on a swing, do jumping jacks, or simply take three deep breaths. Every body needs something different, so start to get curious and notice what seems to calm you.
Unravel your triggers and biases. When you notice yourself feeling triggered by something your child is doing, write it down to come back to later in a calm time and investigate what’s underneath the trigger. It might be a sensory trigger that you need to be aware of, such as too much noise or too much touch, but it might also be a belief from your own childhood of how children “should” behave. Once we can see the stories we are telling ourselves about our kids’ behaviors, we can work to help ourselves rewrite that narrative and show up for our children in a different way.
>>>Are these tips from Alyssa on emotional intelligence helpful? Do you or your child struggle with this? Tell us in the comments below.
Get in touch with our Guest!
Mentioned in the Episode
- Free class: Especially if you relate to that last takeaway about understanding your triggers and why you get angry and overstimulated at times, you need to come to my free Zoom class in September all about the mom-rage and what to do about it. You can reserve your seat at 3in30podcast.com/freeclass, and I can’t wait to dive even deeper into this topic with you!
- Pre-order Alyssa’s book: Tiny Humans Big Emotions
- Emotional Regulation Needs Quiz: seedquiz.com
- Alyssa’s first episode on 3 in 30: Episode 271: Why your Kids Meltdown after school and what to do about it
- Episode 278: When your Child Says “I Hate You!”
BetterHelp: This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Use the code 3in30 to get 10% off your first month of online therapy!
PrepDish: Visit prepdish.com/3in30 for a FREE two-week trial!