314: How to Feel like Yourself in Motherhood // Aleisha McKean


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TODAY IS THE DAY!  My Self-Assured Motherhood Program is available.  This is a once-a-year opportunity.  If you’ve been feeling overwhelmed, lost, unmoored, or burned out in motherhood, this course is FOR YOU.  To sign up, just go to 3in30podcast.com/SAM  (Self-Assured Motherhood).  If you’d like a little sneak-peek of the program, sign up for one of my FREE Masterclasses on How to Be a Less Angry Mom at 3in30podcast.com/freeclass.



For me, becoming a mom was both the most joyful AND confusing time of my life. In some ways, being responsible for this new little person made me feel more like myself than anything I had ever experienced. And in other ways, who was this new version of me? I often felt completely lost and unmoored, unable to identify what I wanted and needed anymore, as I spent all of my energy taking care of my son.

I wish I could say that feeling faded as he got a bit older, but as his emotional needs increased, and as another baby joined our family a few years later, I got deeper and deeper into motherhood and in some ways further and further away from a sense of myself. That’s when I started doing deep soul work through therapy, and journaling, and reading tons of books, and years later, that lead to my creation of the Self-Assured Motherhood Program, or SAM as I call it for short. I am passionate about helping women feel like themselves within their motherhood–their best selves–and in today’s episode you’ll get to hear from a mom who has taken the SAM program twice, two years in a row, and has developed a deep and resonant understanding of who she is and what she brings to her family. It was so inspiring for me to talk to her about some of her biggest takeaways from the SAM program and lessons she hopes all women can learn so they can find more trust in themselves. 


3 Takeaways from Aleisha on How to Feel Like Yourself In Motherhood:

  1. Know your Self by defining a successful day for you, based on your unique values and strengths. In motherhood, it’s easy to feel like we are never doing enough. We have constant and ever-changing demands on our time and attention, and just when we get one thing crossed off our to-do list, another one is added. So how can we gauge if we’ve had a successful day or if we are making “enough” progress in our lives? One way to do that is to investigate what simple daily habits make you feel like you, and then do your best to make sure that that handful of key activities is happening most days. You won’t be able to find this list on Pinterest–it will have to come from your own experience getting to know yourself and what you value and need.  
  2. Honor your Needs by taking time to pursue your purpose. Pursuing your purpose is a core need.  In my experience, you will start to wither inside if you don’t bring your unique purpose–the thing that makes you feel alive and always has since childhood–into every season of your life. And remember, this can be in small and simple ways that fit your season of life. I love that Aleisha prioritized her purpose of connecting with others through writing when she invested in an online writing course and prioritized the time to be able to go through it. If you’re not sure what your purpose is, think about something that has brought you joy since you were very young, and also join Self-Assured Motherhood, because we devote an entire month to helping you uncover your purpose and figure out how to pursue it in your current season!
  3. Love your People by eliminating unnecessary expectations–of yourself and them! We all carry around a truckload of “shoulds” for what we think a “good mom” does. But when those expectations don’t actually fit us, they can become burdensome and can actually get in the way of us loving our people well. I love that Aleisha reminded us that if we start to feel stressed out by a certain activity within our motherhood role, we can take that as a reminder to stop and ask ourselves, “Why am I doing this? Do I actually value this, or do I just think I ‘should’ value this?” Tapping back into our unique values and strengths, and the values and strengths of our children, leads to so much more happiness and contentment for the whole family. 


>>>Are these tips from Aleisha helpful? Do you need more help feeling more like yourself in motherhood? Tell us in the comments below.




Mentioned in the Episode

  • Free class: If you’d like a sneak-peek of the SAM Program, sign up for one of my FREE Masterclasses on How to be a Less Angry Mom.  This class has stand-alone value, so come even if you aren’t interested in the program.  Sing up at  3in30podcast.com/freeclass.
  • Sign up for the Self-Assured Motherhood Program TODAY at 3in30podcast.com/SAM



  • BetterHelp: This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Use the code 3in30 to get 10% off your first month of online therapy!
  • Daily Harvest: Visit Dailyharvest.com/3in30 to get up to $65 off your first box.

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