Making time for self-care when you’re a busy mom can seem laughably impossible.
In my Self-Assured Motherhood program, we devote an entire month to self-care, but I know this topic can be annoying for overwhelmed mothers. You may be thinking, “Sure, Rachel, it sounds wonderful to make time for self-care…but I am juggling the demands of my children, my job, my partner, and life in the modern world, full of so many distractions and demands. It’s not realistic!”
If you feel this way when you hear about self-care, I hope the conversation I had with Dr. Nicole Sparks will provide a bit of a reframe for you. Self-care doesn’t have to be completed when we are all alone and conditions are perfect. Nurturing our family relationships in conscious ways can be an incredibly meaningful part of self-care, and it’s much more within reach when you’re a busy mom than something like long, uninterrupted bubble baths. (Because let’s be real – even if you tried to take a long bubble bath right now, you’d see little fingers sticking under the crack in the door while little voices yell, “Mommy! When are you going to be done?”) 🫠
Dr. Nicole Sparks is board-certified in obstetrics and gynecology and currently practices in rural Georgia as an OB Hospitalist. She is passionate about empowering women to take charge of their health and decreasing maternal mortality rates in the US through awareness and patient education.
Nicole is also an active blogger and lifestyle content creator where she discusses everything from balancing career and family, to menstrual wellness and advocating for yourself during pregnancy and the postpartum period. She is a mother of three little children, so she understands the challenges of fitting in self-care when you are stretched really thin.
***
3 Takeaways from Dr. Nicole Sparks on Making Time for Self-Care:
1. Be intentional about quality time with your children.
I used to think self-care required being alone, but I have found that when I am really intentional and focused and present with my children, it can feel like self-care. It can feel like refilling my cup when I’m really drained. When it comes to building relationships with our kids, quality time matters just as much as, if not more than, quantity of time. If you are in a busy, demanding season, and you can’t spend as much time with your kids as you’d like, that’s okay! Be intentional that the time you do spend with them counts, so that it can become soul-care for them and for you. Put your phone away, be present mentally and emotionally, and build in some daily bonding routines that you and they can start to count on. Some examples could be taking a walk, playing a board game after dinner, reading out loud together in the family room, or having a movie night once a week. What sounds soul-filling for you, and how can you do that with your kids in a way that will fill all of you? This is self-care!
2. Be intentional about quality time with your partner, if you have one.
It is so easy to become consumed by the busyness of life with kids that you become more like business partners than romantic partners. I speak from personal experience on this one! Sometimes, my soul truly misses connected time with my husband Ryan, and it is a form of self-care for me to prioritize. Don’t make this part of a checklist or a “should” in order to be a good wife, but connect intentionally because your partner is your friend. I always feel more like myself after I’ve spent focused time with Ryan. For me, getting intentional about building this kind of quality time back into our life might look like insisting on a decent bedtime for my kids, even as they get older. I can also try setting aside my work some days so we can eat lunch together. Think about your unique life circumstances and find pockets of time where you can focus on quality time with your partner as a way to emotionally refuel and reset both of you.
3. Be intentional about quality time with yourself.
This is where a more traditional view of self-care comes in, but it’s more doable than you might think! It might be booking a monthly or quarterly massage for yourself, and it could also look like just truly enjoying a slow, warm shower in peace and quiet. (Ask your partner for help so the little fingers aren’t impatiently wiggling!) It can also be as simple as sitting down and doing some breath work during naptime instead of jumping right into cleaning. It’s important to notice the pockets of potential self-care time we have in our busy day. Once we start to notice them, we can allow ourselves to take them and soak them in, without guilt. What can you give yourself permission to do today just because it sounds really fun, peaceful, or refreshing for you? Schedule it in if you have to. Be on the lookout for that rare moment of quiet. When it comes, instead of immediately checking off one of your to-dos, seize the chance for some quick self-care to feed your soul.
Don’t you love these takeaways? Do you feel like self-care is more within your reach now?
Save this summary to Pinterest so you can use it later! 👇
>>>Are these tips from Dr. Nicole Sparks on making time for self-care helpful? What would you add to the takeaways? Tell us in the comments below!
***
Related episodes like this one on making time for self-care:
- 318: Combating Emotional Fatigue while Caregiving // Dr. Chelsea Jackson Roberts
- 129: Rethinking Meditation as a Busy Mom // Dr. Leah Weiss
- 252: Sanctify Your Soul-Care // Self-Assured Motherhood Alumni
Get in touch with our Guest:
- Instagram: @nicolealiciamd
- Website: nicolealiciamd.com
Sponsors:
- TN Dickinson’s: T.N. Dickinson’s witch hazel products are the only all natural, clinical grade witch hazel on the market, that cleanses, soothes, and treats just about anything, and is gentle enough to use daily
- BetterHelp: This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com/3in30 to get 10% off your first month of online therapy!
- Ritual: Visit ritual.com/3IN30 to get 30% off your first month.
