Are you frazzled trying to figure out how to teach your kids to work? 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

If you’re like me, you bounce around between different systems that are “going to work this time” and feel exasperated when they don’t. I don’t want to be a drill sergeant, but I also know it’s important that my kids grow up with a good work ethic!

How do I find the right balance!!??

Thankfully, I was able to interview Danielle Porter. Danielle and I met while working with the organization Power of Moms. Danielle is a mom of 6, and I have admired how fully she has committed herself to learning how to be the best mother she can be. She is truly deliberate about every decision she makes in her home, and she has tried out many systems and strategies over the years. I benefit from hearing her advice as her family and her wisdom grows, and today she is going to share some of that with us!

When I asked Danielle for this interview, I asked her to teach us how to teach our kids to work – and I was honestly surprised by her takeaways. She took it in a different direction than I anticipated. But her words also resonate as truth in my heart and remind me that a little love, patience, and perspective goes a long way. 

 

 

3 Takeaways to Teach Your Kids to Work 

 

1) Learn to love routines.

We all have routines, whether we think we’re a routines person or not. Using your family’s already-in-place simple routines can give you many opportunities to teach life skills and teach your kids how to contribute in a family. Routines put things on repeat and give us a framework to learn how to work. For example, a common routine is eating dinner together at night. Starting small, choose one thing you would like to add to the routine of dinner that will teach your kids to work. Maybe you decide that the kids can help you set the table? Or maybe they take care of washing their own plate when they’re done eating. Once that chore is routine, you can choose another one to add. 

 

2) Evaluate expectations.

There are two parts to expectations when it comes to household chores: 1) We can and should expect our kids to pitch in and work, but 2) We need to be careful what we’re actually expecting them to do. Is it realistic for their age and abilities? Using accountability systems can help with both of these parts. When we have a chore chart with detailed expectations for what the kids need to do, then we know they’re learning to work, they know what’s expected of them, and we keep ourselves from piling on more work than they can actually handle. Accountability systems keep everything in check (including anxious moms!). Remember, finding joy and pride in work is an advanced skill – it’s normal and okay if your kids are only begrudgingly doing the minimum of their chore charts. 

 

3)  Be playful and pleasant. 

Keeping things playful and pleasant is a really powerful tool when it come to teaching your kids to work. This doesn’t mean that you need to have elaborate games in place during every cleaning episode. It can simply be keeping your tone of voice light and positive. You can say things like, “I love that you had so much fun playing with these toys!” Keeping things lighthearted helps your kids see that the mess isn’t bad, and it’s not a big deal, and now we get to pitch in and help. If you have the energy, you can use games while you’re playing. Danielle put together a list of really great cleaning games that can help get you thinking. One thing that really surprised me was that Danielle doesn’t force her kids to help when she’s cleaning with them. Instead, she chooses to focus on the positive things they are doing, rather than harping on the negative. I’m going to try this and see what I think! 

 

I love Danielle’s insights on how to teach your kids to work! The more that I read about parenting and follow various parenting experts online and on social media, the more I am convinced that love and patience and positivity are the only ways to really change children’s behavior and to have the kind of home that I want to have. 

 

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  >>> Do Danielle’s ideas for how to teach your kids to work feel helpful? What systems do you have in place in your home? What tips do you have? Comment below! 

 

 

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Related Episodes like this one on How to Teach Your Kids to Work:

• 369: How to Teach Your Kids about Money // Abby Chipman
• 180: Three Secrets to Helping Your Kids Behave Well // Ralphie Jacobs
• 293: Rethinking Housework // KC Davis

 

Mentioned in the Episode:

• Danielle’s Power of Moms article with cleaning games: “Keeping It Clean”
• 036: Momming Like a Boss: Using Corporate Leadership Strategies in Our Homes // Whitney Archibald of ‘How She Moms 
• 001: Getting Unmotivated Kids to Help // Candi Kidd 
• 026: How to Praise Your Child When It Feels Like There is Nothing to Praise // Tony Overbay, Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist

 

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