Are you struggling with the holiday blues? 

It’s “the most wonderful time of the year,” but for some of us, it doesn’t necessarily feel like it. I vividly remember watching Jim Carey’s version of How The Grinch Stole Christmas in the movie theater when I was a teenager, and I cried a little when Cindy Lou Who sang her melancholy ballad, “Where Are You Christmas?” because I just related so much. “Where are you Christmas? Why can’t I find you? Why have you gone away?” It captured so perfectly the melancholy that I often felt around the holidays but couldn’t put into words. 

I’ve always been a rather sentimental soul, and I know not everyone relates to this confusing angst during the holidays, but maybe you do. Maybe you put a smile on your face for the parties and events, but inside, you might feel as alone as the Grinch sitting in his cave on top of the hill because who feels down during the holidays? Is your heart just three sizes too small? 💗

Whether your melancholy stems from trauma or difficult memories, overstimulation, loss of a loved one, or grief that life hasn’t turned out the way you’d hoped, it’s actually pretty normal to feel not-so-joyful or festive during this time of year. 

 

Dr. Tanmeet Sethi was on the podcast in November talking about radical gratitude, and if you missed that episode, you absolutely must go back and listen–it was one of the most uplifting and insightful conversations I’ve ever had on 3 in 30–and I am honored to have her back on the podcast to help us navigate the holiday blues. 

Dr. Sethi is an Integrative Medicine Physician, activist, author, and TEDx speaker. She is on the senior faculty for The Center for Mind-Body Medicine and is also a Clinical Associate Professor at the University of Washington. 

She has so much wisdom to share on managing the holiday blues, so with no further ado, let’s jump right in. 

 

3 Tips for Navigating the Holiday Blues: 

 

1. Acknowledge your emotions. 

The holidays often bring extra pressure to feel joyful. With everyone saying “Happy Holidays,” it can be tempting to suppress any not-so-happy emotions and pretend everything is fine. However, neuroscience shows that when we suppress our emotions, it triggers a threat response in our bodies, activating our stress system.

Instead, try a simple exercise: acknowledge and label your emotions as they arise. This practice can help calm those threat centers in your brain, allowing you to think more clearly and calmly from your prefrontal cortex. You might envision each feeling as a bubble and imagine it floating in front of you.

And remember, you don’t need to “do” anything about your emotions. It’s okay to feel sadness without the pressure to “fix” it. Allow yourself to sit with your feelings without judgment, and resist the urge to rush into changing them.

2. Draw boundaries as self-care. 

Boundaries are essential for self-care, especially during times when you are experiencing holiday melancholy. Your brain naturally dislikes uncertainty, and establishing boundaries can bring you a sense of ease. By clearly expressing what you need to yourself and others, you can boost your energy and feel more at peace in your mind.

If spending time with a particular group of friends feels stressful or triggering, you have the right to skip that gathering and choose a more nourishing activity, whether it’s resting at home or engaging in self-care. If a holiday tradition or party seems overwhelming, practice saying, “No, thank you.” And remember that making a decision in advance can help you to avoid ruminating about it all week or month, which only adds to our mental unease. 

 

 

3. Settle into your body. 

Emotions are simply energy in motion, and emotions live in the body. The more you can connect to your body, the more you can work with the emotions that are coming up. Find ways to move your body that feel connecting to you – this can be working on a craft, going on a walk, or doing some gentle yoga. When we move, our stress levels decrease, and our brain secretes neurochemicals that help us think more clearly. When our muscles contract, even just for a little bit, they secrete the anti-inflammatory molecules dubbed “hope molecules.” 

If you find yourself stuck in difficult or heavy emotions this time of year, remind yourself not to let your body get stuck where your mind is. Head out on a walk, pull out your crochet hooks, do some breathwork, and let your body help you move through the emotions. Maybe consider joining me in my personal goal to go for a walk outside, regardless of the weather, for at least five minutes a day!

 

Don’t you love learning from Dr. Sethi? Listening to her blend of compassion and research feels like a comforting hug for my inner Eeyore. I hope you find it helpful as you navigate the holiday blues this year.  

 

 

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What did you think of Dr. Sethi’s takeaways on navigating the holiday blues? Do you have any tips to add? Comment below! 

 

 

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Related Episodes like this one on Holiday Blues:

• 398: How to Plan for an Energizing (not Exhausting) Holiday Season // Dr. Amber Price
• 325: How to have Less-Stressful, More Meaningful Holidays // Desirae Endres from Minimal-ish
• How to Support a Friend during the Holidays who has Lost a Loved One // Rachel Gainer
   

About our Guest:

Dr. Tanmeet Sethi is a board-certified Integrative Family Physician, activist, and TEDx speaker who has dedicated her career to care for the most marginalized patients in Seattle’s refugee, uninsured and homeless populations as well as global communities traumatized by manmade and natural disasters.

Her first book, Joy Is My Justice: Reclaim Yours Now, published in May 2023, is a radical call to claim Joy as our birthright, the deepest liberation we can know and a path to power through oppression. 

In her clinical practice, she weaves modern and ancient medicine to catalyze the most profound healing.

She says her three children are her most proud (and time-consuming) accomplishment. 

 

Get in Touch with Our Guest:

• Substack: https://tanmeetsethimd.substack.com: 
• Website:  https://www.tanmeetsethimd.com

• Instagram: @tanmeetsethimd

 

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