Do you know what to do when you feel overwhelmed?
Feeling overwhelmed and being a mom seem to go hand-in-hand, but is it really necessary to constantly feel like we’re drowning?
Can you relate?
One thing I’ve been thinking about is the difference between stress and overwhelm.
Stress is a state of mental or emotional strain or tension resulting from very demanding circumstances. This is unavoidable in motherhood because motherhood is often demanding, and that’s not necessarily a bad thing. It is stretching us and growing us.
Overwhelm, on the other hand, means to be buried or drown beneath a huge mass. Synonyms for the verb form include “to crush, devastate, grind down.” This is what makes us feel like we’re drowning, and I strongly believe it’s not how your daily motherhood should feel!
While it’s true the responsibilities of motherhood will always be there, the constant undercurrent of being overwhelmed doesn’t have to be (really!), and I hope what I share today will walk you through how to calm that current.
The strategies I share today come from a personal experience that I shared in the episode. You can listen to that in the player app above!
3 Strategies for When You Feel Overwhelmed:
1. Put some of your load down.
Make a list of all of the things that are overwhelming you right now. Look at the list and get honest with yourself – what can you put down? You may have to say no to things you’ve already said yes to. You might need to take your kids out of activities if your family is overcommitted. You might need to disappoint some people! This can be really difficult, especially if you value loyalty, dependability, and responsibility. But remember, you can always come back to these things when you’re in a space to pick them back up again.
In the episode, I give several scripts you can use when saying no. One of these scripts is what I call a “love sandwich.” Here’s how it works: love + boundary + love. It might sound like this, “I have loved the opportunity to be involved in this, but due to the increased needs of my family, I can’t continue to participate. My last day will be this date. Thank you so much for understanding. And again, I have loved working with you.”
Remember that even if you can’t put the entire task down, you might be able to put down some parts of it or some expectations of yourself by simplifying it. Anything you can do to put all or parts of your loads down will make a BIG difference!
2. Ask for help to carry your load.
If you find that you can’t put something down that’s overwhelming you, then it’s important to find some people to help you carry it. Open up to your partner, your family, and your friends. Help them understand the load your carrying – including the mental load! Make a plan for how they can help you carry it, and meet regularly to talk about how it’s going for both of you. This might look like splitting up who does the meal planning and who keeps track of car maintenance. It might look like a carpool to gymnastics. The ways to split up our overwhelming tasks are endless, but sharing the load can help enormously with when you feel overwhelmed.
3. Find a way to put some of your tasks together.
A couple of years ago, I learned about a term called “life-stacking.” This is when one activity covers many objectives. Life-stacking can help when you have a lot of things you should and/or want to be doing, but you don’t know how to fit them all in. For example, if you’re feeling like you should be exercising, walking the dog, and touching base with a friend, you can combine those three and plan regular walks with your friend each week. This allows you to meet three objectives all at the same time, rather than trying to fit all of the objectives into separate hours. It takes a little time and forethought, but life-stacking can be a great tool to help you with the overwhelm!
I hope you’ve found these actionable steps helpful when you feel overwhelmed! If you are interested in dedicating yourself to a true transformation – going from constant unhealthy overwhelm to more productive stress mixed with a lot more joy and fun – sign up for my Declutter your Motherhood Audio course by the end of January for $50 off with the code NEWYEAR. I’d love to have you with us!
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What did you think of my tips on when you feel overwhelmed? What strategies do you use? Share in the comments below!
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Related Episodes:
- 337: One Brilliant (and Easy!) Tool that Helps Me Manage My Mental Load
- 353: How to Declutter Your Busy Schedule // Miranda Anderson
- 411: Decluttering That Sticks: 3 Mindset Changes for Lasting Impact // Erica Layne
Mentioned in this episode:
- Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones by James Clear
- Surface Pressure – song from Encanto
