When you don’t like your child…
A few years ago, I found myself in a difficult parenting season. One of my kids was pushing every button I had—constant power struggles, defiance, and tension that seemed to hang in the air. I remember saying to my husband, “I love this child so much…but right now, I don’t like them.” It felt awful to admit.
But it also felt honest—and once I said it out loud, I realized I wasn’t alone.
Many mothers experience these moments, especially when a child is going through a tricky developmental phase, has a strong-willed personality, or simply clashes with us in ways we don’t expect. And yet, few of us talk about it openly.
Today, I want to offer you three simple but powerful strategies that have helped me move through those hard seasons and find my way back to connection, affection, and joy.
3 Takeaways for When You Don’t Like Your Child:
1. Look for the Good—And Write It Down
When one of your kids feels especially challenging, it’s easy for your brain to start scanning for all the things that are wrong. But just like the algorithm on your phone learns what content to show you based on what you engage with…your brain does the same.
That’s why I started the practice of writing down one “fleck of gold” every day with my children—a tiny moment that shines, even on the hardest days.
It might be the way your child shares a joke, a moment of unexpected kindness, or a fleeting second of eye contact and warmth. When you begin noticing and recording these golden moments, you’ll start to see more of them. (And yes, even with the child who’s been driving you up the wall.)
✨ Want a tool to help? My Flecks of Gold Journal is designed to make this practice easy and meaningful—and it’s currently on sale through Mother’s Day. Check it out here.
2. Spend Time With Them
This one might feel counterintuitive—when a child feels difficult, the last thing you want to do is spend more time with them. But intentional one-on-one connection can completely shift the dynamic.
That might mean watching silly YouTube videos together, reading their favorite book series, or learning their favorite video game. You’re showing them: I care about what you care about. And often, that’s the bridge back to connection.
If entering their world feels overwhelming, find a shared interest—something you both enjoy—and carve out time just for that. It could be as simple as a walk around the block, reading side by side, or a spontaneous lunch date.
3. Spend Time Without Them
You are allowed to need a break.
Parenting a challenging child doesn’t mean you’re failing—it means you’re human. Prioritize time away from that child when needed: a quiet walk, time with girlfriends, even a bit of extra screen time during the evening routine to give yourself a breather.
Sometimes, the most loving thing you can do is to create space so you can come back with more emotional bandwidth and compassion. You might even consider calling in reinforcements—asking a grandparent to host a sleepover, signing your child up for a day camp, or scheduling time with a babysitter so you can reconnect with yourself. These aren’t signs of weakness—they’re investments in your family’s emotional well-being.
Let’s Normalize the Hard Seasons
If you’re in a tough place with one of your kids, please know this: it won’t last forever. With time, effort, and the right tools, you can rebuild your relationship—and you might even find that the traits driving you the most crazy now are the ones that make your child shine later in life.
And in the meantime? Look for the gold. Create it when you can. And give yourself the grace to breathe when you can’t.
Save this summary to Pinterest so you can use it later!!
Have you gone through a phase where you didn’t like your child? What did you do to get through it? Share in the comments below!
***
Related Episodes like this on When You Don’t Like Your Child:
Sponsors:
- Team Supercrew: Visit teamsupercrew.com and use the code 3in30 at checkout to get 10% off your order. You’ll also get a free gift—step-by-step reading and play guides to help you reinforce the lessons in simple, powerful ways.
- BetterHelp: 3 in 30 Takeaways for Moms is sponsored by BetterHelp. Go to betterhelp.com/3in30 to get 10% off your first month of online therapy.
- Factor: Go to factormeals.com/3in3050off and use code 3in3050off to get 50% off plus free shipping on your first box.
Let’s Connect!
- Join me on Instagram!
- Get weekly-ish emails with BTS of my life
- Find Your Magic in Motherhood: Free 3-Day Email Course
