Are you wondering how to find your personal style as a mom?
When I was in my early twenties, I remember standing in a department store, holding a shirt I loved…and putting it back. Not because it didn’t fit or wasn’t my style—but because I’d heard somewhere that people with my coloring shouldn’t wear that shade
It seems like such a small thing. But that decision—based on someone else’s “rule”—is one I’ve thought about many times since. Because it wasn’t really about the shirt. It was about the belief underneath: that there was one right way to do things, and I had to find it. I had to follow it.
That belief followed me into motherhood.
I thought being a “good mom” meant having a perfectly clean house. That I needed a month’s worth of meal plans and freezer dinners prepped. That if my discipline didn’t lead to a calm, teachable moment every time, I was doing something wrong.
And when I couldn’t keep up with those expectations? I didn’t just feel tired—I felt like I was failing.
That’s why my recent conversation with style educator Julie Allen resonated so deeply. Julie’s approach to fashion is not about trends or body types. It’s about using style as a tool to reconnect with yourself: to play, to create, to feel more like you—even (and especially) in the thick of motherhood.
And as we talked, it became so clear how the same mindset shifts that help women get dressed with confidence can also help us parent with more joy and self-compassion.
Julie Allen’s Takeaways for How to Find Your Personal Style as a Mom:
1. Embrace tools—not rules.
In both fashion and motherhood, it’s easy to get stuck in the mindset of “shoulds.” You should define your waistline. You should cook from scratch. You should have a spotless home and a perfectly executed bedtime routine. But what if, instead of following rigid rules, you viewed these as tools—things you can use when they serve you, and set aside when they don’t? For example, maybe a clean house does help your mental health—but that doesn’t mean it needs to be guest-ready at all times. Maybe you like nutritious meals—but that doesn’t mean you need to make your own hamburger buns from scratch (yes, that was one of Julie’s early “rules” for herself!). This shift from rules to tools can lift so much guilt and make space for intention, not perfection.
2. You contain multitudes—and you’re allowed to express them.
You don’t have to be one type of mom. You’re not required to wear one “look” forever. You are allowed to be playful, moody, classic, laid-back, bold, quiet, creative—and everything in between. Julie shared how style helped her embrace all the different parts of herself—because each outfit gave her a new opportunity to express a different version of who she is. And she gave her kids permission to evolve, too, because they saw their mom doing it first. That freedom to experiment—to try a new parenting approach, a new rhythm, or even just a new pair of jeans—can be such a powerful act of self-trust.
3. Build up your basics.
Just like a wardrobe needs staple pieces you can rely on, your motherhood needs a foundation too—and that foundation is your core values.
When you know what really matters to you, you’re less likely to get swept up in comparison or unrealistic expectations. You can say, “This works for my family,” with confidence—even if it looks different from what someone else is doing. For Julie, one of her family’s core values is relationships over outcomes. That principle helps her stay grounded through the ups and downs of raising six kids. And it reminded me so much of what I teach in my Self-Assured Motherhood program: when you voice your values, you create a motherhood that fits you—not someone else’s version of it.
You don’t need to overhaul your whole home this summer. Just one intentional system can bring more peace to your days and teach your kids the life skills they’ll carry with them into adulthood. You are doing such important work in your family. I hope this episode helps you feel a little more supported and a little more confident.
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What did you think of these tips from Julie Allen? Share in the comments below!
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About Our Guest:
Julie Rose Allen is your Internet Big Sister! She is a 45 year old mother of 6 chidlren, ranging in age from 21-11. Julie works as a style influencer, mainly on Instagram, teaching women how to embrace style tools, instead of being stifled by rules. She makes fashion fun and doable by sharing simple style tips and tried and true recommendations for real life style.
Get in Touch with Our Guest:
- Website: https://thatjuliegirl.com
- Instagram: @thatjuliegirl
Sponsors:
- Team Supercrew: Visit teamsupercrew.com and use the code 3in30 at checkout to get 10% off your order. You’ll also get a free gift—step-by-step reading and play guides to help you reinforce the lessons in simple, powerful ways.
- BetterHelp: 3 in 30 Takeaways for Moms is sponsored by BetterHelp. Go to betterhelp.com/3in30 to get 10% off your first month of online therapy.
- KiwiCo: Build the best summer ever with KiwiCo! Get $15 off on your Summer Adventure Series at kiwico.com.
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