Learning how to let go of mom guilt has been one of the most transformative shifts in my motherhood over the past few years.
Last month, my marketing director Emily asked me to think about the ways I’d let go of heavy expectations in 2025, and honestly, I drew a blank at first. I know my life feels lighter. I know I’m happier. But had I actually decluttered any specific shoulds this past year?
So I carved out thirty minutes, sat down with my journal, and really thought about it. And once I started, I couldn’t stop. I could see it everywhere—all the ways I’d stopped performing and started living.
The guilt I used to carry about my son Noah’s screen time? Gone. He plays a lot of video games, and a few years ago, that would have sent me into a spiral. But he’s thriving at school, happy at home, has great friends, and we have a strong relationship. Somewhere along the way, I just stopped carrying someone else’s expectation about what good moms should allow.
I also used to feel weighed down by a checklist of requirements with my religious study and service. I had this running tally in my head of what I should be doing to be a good, faithful person. Now I just do what feels right to my soul that day, and my relationship with God feels so much more rooted in love than fear. That shift has been everything.
Ryan and I also finally sat down and divvied up our housework responsibilities. I do all the meal planning, grocery shopping, and prepping. He does all the dishes. And I cannot tell you how good it feels to see a sink full of dirty dishes and think, oh well, his job. Sometimes I still do them anyway, but when I do, it’s an act of service to him, not a resentful obligation.
When I looked back at 2025, I realized I’d also made a decision that would have felt impossible a few years ago. I limited my work hours, delegated responsibilities to my team, and cut some things from my business altogether. And yes, that meant I didn’t make as much money this past year. But the work-life balance feels amazing, and a few years ago, I would have told myself I couldn’t afford to make these changes. I would have said yes to everything because I should maximize my income, I should say yes to opportunities, I should work harder to grow my professional impact.
What I’ve learned is that sometimes the best decisions require choosing yourself.
Why This Matters
If you’re carrying shoulds that don’t fit you anymore, this episode is for you. In it, I share more examples of how I decluttered my motherhood in 2025, and you’ll also hear the first lesson from my Motherhood Decluttered audio course, where I walk you through the exact process I used to create this kind of freedom in my own life.
You don’t have to become a “better” mom in 2026. You just need to become a less burdened one.
How to Let Go of Mom Guilt: 3 Steps for Decluttering Your Motherhood
1. Inventory what you’re actually carrying
Take everything out of your internal “motherhood closet” and sort through it. What expectations are you holding onto? Which ones came from your upbringing, social media, or well-meaning advice that never actually fit you? Get clear on what you actually own and how much of it weighs you down. You might be surprised by how many shoulds you’ve been lugging around without even realizing it.
2. Edit what doesn’t fit you anymore
Go through each expectation and deliberately decide what you want to keep because it sparks joy and aligns with your values, and what you want to let go of because it doesn’t fit you anymore, it’s worn out, or it never brought you joy in the first place. This step requires honesty and courage, because you might realize you’re not exactly the mother you thought you’d be before you had kids—and that’s okay. The question is whether you’re ready to let go of expectations that don’t serve you and start embracing the good mother you actually are.
3. Make room for what brings you alive
Once you’ve cleared out the junk, you can more easily see what’s missing and decide what you’re excited to add. For me in 2025, that looked like watching all nine Star Wars movies with Noah over the summer, staying up late with my daughter to listen to the new Taylor Swift album, planning epic family trips after learning how to travel on points, and having hour-long phone conversations with my best friend when she was going through a divorce. None of that would have happened if I’d just kept grinding through my to-do list of obligations.
Wrapping Up
By removing mental clutter, stress, busyness, and resentment from my life, I’ve made so much more room for joy. And that’s what I want for you too. You deserve to feel less burdened and more alive in your motherhood.
If you’re ready to dive deeper into this work, my Motherhood Decluttered audio course is $50 off through January 19th with the code MOREJOY. That’s only $47 for a curriculum that will help you release mom guilt, clarify your priorities, and create more space for joy in your everyday life. And if you complete the course and don’t feel like your life has shifted for the better, I offer a money-back guarantee. 💜
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Are these tips about how to let go of mom guilt useful? Share in the comments below!
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Related Episodes like this one on Letting Go of Mom Guilt:
- 214: Simple Tips to Create New Habits in the New Year // BJ Fogg
- 411: Decluttering That Sticks: 3 Mindset Changes for Lasting Impact // Erica Layne
- 462: 3 Questions for the New Year
Mentioned in the Episode:
- Motherhood Decluttered Sale! My Motherhood Decluttered course is $50 off through January 19th with code MOREJOY.
- New Years Reflections Worksheet: If you want a worksheet to go through three questions to ask yourself for the new year, I created one for you. Print it off, grab a cozy drink, and spend 20 minutes getting clear on what you actually want this year, not what you think you’re supposed to want.
Sponsors:
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Boll & Branch: Get 15% off your first set of sheets plus free shipping at BollAndBranch.com/3IN30.
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Wildgrain: Right now, Wildgrain is offering our listeners $30 off your first box—PLUS free Croissants for life—when you go to Wildgrain.com/3IN30 to start your subscription today.
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