Before I became a mom, I had a very clear picture of who I was going to be when I got there.
I was going to be a stay-at-home mom. I was going to be present and unhurried and patient. I would have snacks ready when they got home from school, and the summers would be full of creative activities. I was sure I was going to treasure every single minute of it because I had waited so long for those babies to arrive.
I'm chuckling because I'm sure you can see where this is going. While so much about motherhood was immediately beautiful, and I loved my babies fiercely — the day-to-day of stay-at-home motherhood left me feeling lost and unfulfilled in ways I didn't expect and couldn't explain. And for a long time, my response to that was to try harder. Different schedule, different system, different approach. Surely if I could just tweak things a little more, I could become the mom I was supposed to be!
It took me years — and a lot of therapy — to finally ask a different question. Not "how do I make this work?" but "what if I've been trying to fit myself into a version of motherhood that was never actually mine?"
Today's guest, Amy Marie Hann, author of Master the Mundane: How to Manage Life, Home, and Family as a Mom with ADHD was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of five and has fostered, adopted, and homeschooled kids with ADHD. She brings a depth of real, lived experience to everything she creates, and in today's episode, she shares three specific things she let go of in her motherhood because they no longer fit her and her life circumstances–and what opened up when she finally released those expectations of herself.
This episode is for every mom who has been trying to squeeze herself into a version of motherhood that just doesn't quite fit.
3 KEY TAKEAWAYS:
- Amy Marie let go of homeschooling — not because she didn't want to homeschool, but because when she got honest with herself, she loved the idea of it far more than the actual doing of it. And once she stopped spending energy trying to make something work that wasn't a good fit for her brain, she became a better mom in the hours she did have with her kids.
- She let go of being the house where all the kids hang out. Once she accepted that her family actually needed their home to be a quiet escape from stimulation and social demands, she could settle into other ways to connect with and build her community that worked for her.
- She let go of the idea that work has to look one clear way. She knew she didn't want the corporate world — she needed flexibility and time ownership — but she also didn't want to be fully at home. Honoring that tension and finding her own middle ground is what allowed her to show up as her best self for both her family and her work.
If today's conversation got you thinking, "Yes! I want to let go of some heavy 'shoulds' too, but what? And how?" — I want to mention my course Motherhood Decluttered, because it's built around exactly this idea. I walk you through how to declutter your life in a way that matches your needs and your strengths. You can learn more at 3in30podcast.com/declutter. Use the code SUMMER for 10% off through the end of the month.
Related Episodes:
Get in Touch with Our Guest:
- Follow on Instagram: @amymariehann
- Follow on Substack: @adhdmotherhood
- Website: amymariehann.com
- Join the Master the Mundane Community
Sponsors:
- First Day: For a limited time only, our listeners are getting an insane deal. Use code 3IN30 to get up to 57% Off at FirstDay.com.
- Knix Teen: It's not just underwear; it's giving our girls the confidence they deserve. Go to KnixTeen.com and use code 3IN30 for 15 percent off.
- Fodzyme: We're so excited to partner with FODZYME and offer you 30% off your first order when you go to icaneatagain.com/3in30.com.
50 Ways to Lighten Your Mental Load
Are you feeling overwhelmed? Being a mom is a LOT! But there are things you can start today that can help. Grab this worksheet filled with 50 mental load lighteners to get started!