When I first became a mom, I didn't always like motherhood, and I desperately wanted to. I kept looking around at other moms and wondering what they knew that I didn't, and I spent too long trying to be the mom I thought I was "supposed" to be.
That started to shift as I went to therapy and got to know myself better and also started digging into parenting books and resources and eventually started this podcast to share everything that I was learning!
And then, after years of interviewing parenting and personal development experts for podcast episodes, I decided to use my skills as a teacher to put together the six principles that kept coming up in so many of these experts' work--the skills that happy, confident, and steady moms use in their daily lives. These were principles that I myself had been living out as I grew in my happiness in motherhood, and it made all the difference for me.
That's how and why my Self-Assured Motherhood or SAM Framework, was bornābecause I wanted to help other moms find steadiness and confidence in their motherhood.
The principles I teach in the SAM curriculum work because they are principles, not formulas or scripts or techniques. These are univeral truths that you can apply to your own situation, your own personality, and your own strengths. That's why this works. Because you do the digging to figure out what motherhood needs to be for you, not for anyone else.
I've practiced these principles for years now, and they've become the way I live. They shape the small decisions on an ordinary day, and they're what I fall back on in the hardest seasons. That's what I want for every woman who joins SAM.
And if you're listening the week this episode comes out, it matters more than usual, because enrollment for SAM closes tomorrow night, Tuesday, September 22, at midnight Mountain time, and I want you to join us! I have taught the SAM curriculum to over 400 women over the past five years, and this will actually be the last year that I teach it in this exact format where I do live classes every week for eight months, so if you've been waiting for the right season to join, I would love for this to be it.
Today, I wanted you to hear what the SAM principles look like in another mom's life. Shawnee Burt is a proud SAM alum and, in her words, "an OG podcast listener" who has been following my work from the beginning. She's a mom of four, with a new high schooler, a new middle schooler, a fourth grader, and a first grader. Shawnee did SAM for the first time last year, and she loved it so much that she actually joined our SAM Scholars program, which is where women can continue to dive deeper with me and the SAM Sister community after they complete the first year of the SAM curriculum. Honestly, to me the fact that so many women stay in the program is a testament in itself of the power of this work, and I am so very honored to get the chance to work with so many good women who are finding more of themselves and feeling more like themselves within their motherhood.
I can't wait for you to hear from Shawnee today about three principles from SAM that have made a different in her life and how she lives them out day-to-day. Whether or not you choose to join us in SAM, I know her takeaways will bless you and give you more permission to be exactly the mom you are.
3 KEY TAKEAWAYS:
-
First, your strengths make you the best mom for your kids, and you will find joy when you lean into those strengths. The things that come most naturally to us are often the hardest for us to see (fish don't notice the water, right?), which is why I love Shawnee's idea of asking friends to name each other's strengths. When you stop measuring yourself against every other mom's gifts, you get to celebrate hers and finally enjoy your own.
- Second, center yourself in your motherhood, because there's no need for motherhood martyrs. You aren't more important than anyone else in your family, but you aren't less important either, and you belong in the circle of care right alongside your kids. Sometimes that looks like a few precious preschool mornings when your kids are little, and sometimes it looks like your own color on the family calendar. But when you fill your life up with the hobbies and activities that make you feel like you, everyone in your family benefits.
- And third, love your people by listening to your people. Shawnee reminded us that feeling truly heard is almost interchangeable with feeling loved. The time and attention we give in the low-stakes moments (even when we don't quite follow all of the intricate Star Wars plot lines, as I learned last summer) is what helps our kids come to us when the stakes are high.
If this conversation inspired you, I want to invite you to join me and Shawnee and dozens of other amazing women in Self-Assured Motherhood. As I mentioned earlier, this will be the last year that I teach SAM in this format, and enrollment closes tomorrow night, Tuesday, September 22, at midnight Mountain time. You'll get live classes that are recorded and reaired on a private podcast feed for the busy weeks, a 135-page workbook delivered to your home in the mail, and a community of women who will cheer you on the whole way. We spend the first two pillars focused on you before we ever talk about parenting strategies, because those strategies only stick when they're built on a foundation of knowing and loving yourself. Classes begin October 1.
Shawnee told you that you should have signed up yesterday, and I have to say that I agree with her! Come join us! These principles shape how I show up for myself and my family every single day, and I don't want you to spend another year waiting to feel more like yourself. Your kids deserve to have a happy and fulfilled mom, and you deserve to be a happy and fulfilled mom!
Related Episodes:
Sponsors:
BetterHelp: 3 in 30 Takeaways for Moms is sponsored by BetterHelp. Go to betterhelp.com/3in30 to get 10% off your first month of online therapy.
Quince: Make your summer wardrobe feel easier. Go to Quince.com/3in30 for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too.
Rebel: Brand names you actually want in home, baby, and outdoor at up to 70% off. Go to fromrebel.com.
Zenni: Go to zenni.com/podcast and use code PODCAST15 for fifteen percent off your first order, plus free shipping on all US orders over sixty five dollars.