172: How to Lighten your Mental Load // Aileen Kelly and Felicia Kashevaroff of Tend Task

Click to listen to Top Motherhood Podcast, 3 in 30 Podcast with Rachel Nielson hosting Aileen Kelly and Felicia Kashevaroff of Tend Task about Lightening your Mental Load, image of two women laughing, image of woman drinking from a mug, image of Aileen Kelly and Felicia Kashevaroff

Have you ever wondered how you can lighten the mental load that you carry around as a mother? Do you ever feel a bit crushed and underappreciated for it? 

Remembering to register the kids for a summer camp, or buy new seasonally appropriate clothes for them every few months, or address a behavioral issue that you see arising, or research a therapist, a doctor, a sports team, or an opportunity you’d like them to be apart of…these are just a few examples of work that parents do behind the scenes to support their children, and often, a large majority of this type of work falls on mothers, whether or not they are working outside the home. 

In today’s episode, I am so excited to introduce you to two women who are passionate about helping women get clarity and control around the mental load that they are carrying, through a data-driven solution that makes the mental load quantifiable. Felicia and Aileen are two moms that work is shining a light on all the unpaid, overlooked and often isolating work women do everyday through their blog at tendtask.com and their app, Tend: Task Manager & Journal.

I can’t wait for these women to tell you more about their brilliant app, and a three-step process you can start today if you’d like, in order to lighten your mental load.

-3 Takeaways to lighten your mental load as a mother

  1. Track what you do every day. You can do this using their free app, Tend: Task Manage and Journal, or you can just do it on a sheet of paper. Write down everything you do and how long it took, so you can get a concrete idea of where you’re spending your time and how much you’re actually getting done each day, even when it feels like you’re getting nothing done each day. I love that their app has many typical mom-tasks pre-installed, so you can look through them and check them off at the end of the day as part of your “got done” or “ta-da list.”
  2. Assess your data. Go over your got-done list and mark next to each task whether it filled your tank or drained it. If you are finding your day is 80% draining and 20% fulfilling, that could be a good place to start thinking about how you’re spending your days. It’s also very helpful to bring your data to a trusted friend or partner and have them look over it with you and help you see where you could make some changes to lighten your mental load.
  3. Which leads perfectly into our final step: Delegate or delete tasks that are adding too much weight to your mental load. Essential to this step will be having a conversation with your partner and your kids to find out what they can take on or what you can all choose to cut out completely. Remember, you’re all on the same team, and the work that needs to be tackled is the enemy. You can figure out together how to get the family can work together to carry the invisible mental load, without all of it landing on mom.

>>>Will you try any of these tips to lighten the mental load? What would you add to their takeaways? Tell us in the comments below!

Links mentioned in this episode-

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-Related Episodes-

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142: HOW TO MAXIMIZE YOUR TIME AS A BUSY MOM // CERI PAYNE

153: HOW TO ACTUALLY HEAR YOUR SPOUSE // YVETTE AND GLEN HENRY

About the Podcast Host, Rachel Nielson

Rachel taught high school English for five years before deciding to be a stay-at-home mom to her two miracle babies, Noah Atticus, who was adopted, and Sally Grace, who was conceived through IVF.

In her life, Rachel has experienced great sorrow but also great joy--and she loves diving deep into the topics that matter most. Thank you for listening to the podcast and giving her a chance to share her heart.

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