Do you laugh aloud at the thought of having a few minutes to meditate during busy days with your children? What if I told you that you could be meditating THE ENTIRE DAY, even in the midst of chaotic, everyday moments with your little minions?
Dr. Leah Weiss–an author, a mindfulness expert who studied with the Dali Lama, a professor at the Stanford Graduate School of Business, and a mother of three little children–teaches that this is possible. It just requires that we redefine (or rather, correctly define) the word “meditation.”
The word “meditation” is a translation from the Tibetan word “gom.” Dr. Weiss points out that a more literal definition of this word is simply “familiarization” or “getting to know your mind and heart.” When explained this way, busy moms can let go of visions of silent meditation rooms and burning incense (though those things are great too!) and instead embrace every moment with their children as an opportunity to “familiarize” themselves with their own hearts and minds. In fact, motherhood itself can become meditation.
Join me for this fascinating conversation with a renowned mindfulness expert who teaches us the Tibetan process of “dampa sum,” meaning “good in the beginning, good in the middle, and good in the end.”
“How We Work: Live Your Purpose, Reclaim Your Sanity, and Embrace the Daily Grind” by Dr. Leah Weiss https://amzn.to/2sz6Wby
“Motherhood Matters: Are You Willing to Suffer?” by Laura Fanucci: https://www.deseretnews.com/article/865638913/Motherhood-Matters-Are-you-willing-to-suffer.html
When her mother was dying of Alzheimers, April Perry felt an urgency to write a book about her–to capture in words the beautiful memories and lessons of her life.
Each Thursday, she would spend the day with her mom and dad, and she would read them the latest chapter from her book, reliving with them how much her mother had shaped her. April says those Thursdays were some of the most sacred days of her life.
Today on the podcast, we will talk about three chapters from April’s book, which capture lessons about how to connect with our kids during everyday moments.
This episode will remind you that you don’t need to do more as a mother–you simply need to “lean in” to those mundane, everyday moments with your children that are actually making a profound difference to them.
**To enter a giveaway for a copy of April’s book, simply share a memory of your mother on social media this week and tag @3in30podcast, or send it to me in an email at email@example.com.
“Your Children Want YOU!” article from Power of Moms: https://powerofmoms.com/your-children-want-you/
Thursdays with Zoe (April’s book): https://www.amazon.com/Thursdays-Zoe-Unforgettable-Stories-Alzheimers/dp/1537501275
“The Best Nine Minutes” article from Power of Moms: https://powerofmoms.com/the-nine-minutes-that-have-the-greatest-impact/?tag=powofmom-20
“Five Words That People In Your Life Need to Hear” by Christy Wright: https://www.businessboutique.com/2017/01/five-words-that-people-in-your-life-need-to-hear/
April’s previous podcast on 3 in 30, “Getting Out of Overwhelm: A Step-by-Step Process”: https://3in30podcast.com/overwhelm/
I don’t know about you, but sometimes I feel truly stuck in a rut of nagging, bossing, and criticizing my children. This is not who I want to be–but when I can’t get my children to listen to me or to behave, what other option do I have??
Gratefully, Tony Overbay, a professional counselor and father of four, is on the podcast today to teach us a better way.
Using the principles of a powerful parenting and child development model called The Nurtured-Heart Approach, Tony shares four ways that we can effectively praise our children in order to energize the positive in them and in our homes:
Listen in as Tony teaches us how to acknowledge and praise…
1) What we see our children doing (active recognition)
2) What we see our children doing, plus what that shows about their greatness (experiential recognition)
3) What we don’t see our children doing (proactive recognition)
4) What we want to see our children doing (creative recognition)
This episode has the potential to change your parenting and the environment in your home forever. Don’t miss it!
Tony’s website: TonyOverbay.com
Tony’s podcast, The Virtual Couch: http://www.tonyoverbay.com/category/podcast/
Transforming the Difficult Child: The Nurtured-Heart Approach by Howard Glasser
PDF of the 4 Recognition Types: http://www.naswwv.org/index.php/documents/177-c1-wendy-baracka-transforming-the-difficult-child-nha-recognition-techniques/file
A few years ago, I had a phone conversation with a friend that changed my perspective forever. She told me why she never feels mom-guilt. And I loved her wisdom and think of it often.
Listen to this week’s episode to hear her advice, as well as three strategies that I use frequently when I feel the mom-guilt sneaking in:
1) List all of the blessings that your kids have in their lives, from you and others.
2) Reject “filtered-thinking.” Zoom out so you can see the big-picture of yourself and your kids’ lives.
3) Examine whether your guilt is beckoning you higher, or dragging you down lower.
I love to hear from you! Let me know what resonated from this episode or others at @3in30podcast on Instagram or firstname.lastname@example.org.
-Organization I worked with in South Africa: https://helponenow.org/south-africa/
-More about the people I worked with in South Africa: http://fyionrachandry.blogspot.com/2016/11/i-want-to-introduce-you-to-people-who.html
-Episode about the three best tools I learned in counseling, including how to recognize and combat “filtered-thinking”: https://3in30podcast.com/ep-012-stop-mehan-3-best-tools-learned-counseling/
-Another great episode to help combat mom-guilt, “How to Be the Mom You Are, Instead of the Mom You Think You Should Be”: https://3in30podcast.com/ep-016-how-to-be-the-mom-you-are-instead-of-the-mom-you-think-you-should-be-julie-bastedo/
-Last week’s episode “How to Stop Looking at Your Phone So Much–And Why It Matters”: https://3in30podcast.com/lookup/
All of our kids get stuck in behaviors that are difficult for us and others to deal with–perhaps it’s whining, interrupting, fighting with siblings, or defiance.
According to Chrissy Austin, a speech language pathologist with 17 years of experience teaching children social skills and communication, these neurological “loops” can be rewired. She does it every day in her private practice, and, in this week’s episode, she teaches us how to do it! We can follow this simple three-step process with our kids, in our homes:
1) Identify the specific troublesome behavior, and then ask yourself, “What SKILL does my child need to learn in order to change this behavior?”
2) Sit down with the child and make a GOAL to learn the new skill. Have him or her make it visual by writing it down and/or drawing a picture. Consider adding a hand cue.
3) Offer positive reinforcement through verbal praise whenever the child is working on their goal, and consider adding additional reinforcement through earning privileges, if needed.
Chrissy offers so many fantastic tips and interesting bits of research throughout the interview. You won’t want to miss it, especially if you sometimes struggle with knowing how to help your children change.
-Michelle Garcia Winter: https://www.socialthinking.com/
-“Kids Beyond Limits” by Anat Baniel
-“Finally Focused” by James Greenblatt