Podcast

090: How to Talk With Your Teens Instead of at Them // Brooke Romney

Let’s imagine that you have a friend who, every time you get together, tells you all the things that she doesn’t like about you and that she hopes you will change. Would you want to spend time with that friend or open up to her?

Unfortunately, this is the basis of a lot of our interactions with our children, especially as they reach the teen years. We feel such great responsibility to teach them that we fail to see their progress and just focus on everything we want them to change.

Brooke Romney (a returning guest from Episode 19, “How to Be a Friend Instead of Just Being Friendly”) is an expert in prioritizing connection in our relationships. Today she’s going to be teaching us how to talk *with* our teenagers instead of *at* them:

  1. Lecture less and listen more. Concentrate on seeing their good and compliment them; get excited about the things they are excited about; validate what they are going through. 
  2. Elevate your conversation. Instead of asking, “How was your day?”, get comfortable with tackling real-world issues that feel relevant and important to them. 
  3. Hold the judgment (of them and others). When you show grace with the faults of others, your kids realize you’ll show grace with their faults as well.

Show Notes:

Brooke’s website: brookeromney.com

Check out Brooke’s weekly series “Teen Talk Tuesday” on her Instagram or Facebook: @brookeromneywrites 

My next “Declutter Your Motherhood” workshop tickets are live! I will be teaching with Mika Perry in Chandler, Arizona on September 21st. Go to 3in30podcast.com/arizona for all the details.  Early Bird pricing for the next two weeks only!

Hear me this week as a guest on Mika’s podcast: Good to Be Home.

089: When Should I Give My Teen a Cell Phone? // Andrea Davis of Better Screen Time

When I was a senior in high school, my parents got me my first cell phone so I could touch base with them if I was at after school activities or out with friends. This was not a big decision for them. My simple phone was harmless– it did not have the internet or even texting.

Oh how times have changed. Today, parents have to consider so many more factors before handing over a phone to their children, because with smartphones, teens can be exposed to cyber bullying, sexting, pornography, increased comparison with others, etc.

Today’s guest, Andrea Davis, is a mother of five and the founder of Better Screen Time. She is passionate about helping parents navigate technology. She does not want us to feel afraid but rather empowered with tools and know-how to make smart, safe decisions regarding technology within our families. Here are three takeaways to help us decide when to give our teens a smart phone:

  1. Find five parents who are just a few years ahead of you in parenting and ask them how they have handled technology and cell phones with their children.
  2. Work with your family to create healthy tech boundaries. It’s important to give our kids some ownership in our family technology plan and the opportunity to share their opinions and thoughts.
  3. Listen to your gut, but also listen to your teen. This will help them learn the “why” behind the decisions you make.

Show Notes

Andrea’s website: betterscreentime.com 
Andrea’s Instagram: @betterscreentime

Here are the great resources Andrea mentioned in the interview:

More helpful links:

**We are so excited about July’s affiliate sponsor! Try Stitch Fix today and support 3 in 30! (Click the link to see Rachel’s Stitch Fix wardrobe!) 3in30podcast.com/stitchfix

088: The Unexpected Loneliness of Parenting Teens // Tiffany and Allyson from The Sisterhood Podcast

It’s TEEN MONTH at 3 in 30, and I’m so excited to kick it off with two of my motherhood mentors, Tiffany Sowby and Allyson Reynolds, who I met about seven years ago when I worked for the organization Power of Moms.

The transition into motherhood and the different stages of it often comes with unexpected loneliness. As our children get older, their needs change, and they need us in different ways than they did when they were young.

Tiffany and Allison have 9 children between them, ranging in age from 21 down to 10 years old, and according to them, “What is hard when kids are little is easy when they’re older, and what is easy when they’re little can be challenging as they get older.”

Today, Tiffany and Allyson are sharing three takeaways for combating “the unexpected loneliness of parenting teens”:

  1. Find friends in real life you can trust. Unlike so much of the parenting advice that comes through social media, sharing the heavier things requires privacy and connection.
  2. Seek out resources that are available, including professional help. Book, blogs, and podcasts are easier to find for moms of young children, but they are still out there for moms of teens! And everyone needs a therapist!
  3. Enjoy the good. Even though your teens aren’t with you as often, it is truly FUN when they are: in these years, you get to develop your friendship with them and see their unique personalities emerge.

Show Notes

Tiffany and Allyson’s podcast: The Sisterhood Podcast
Instagram: @thesisterhoodpodcast

**We are so excited about July’s affiliate sponsor! Try Stitch Fix today and support 3 in 30! (Click the link to see Rachel’s Stitch Fix wardrobe!) 3in30podcast.com/stitchfix

087: My 3 in 30: How to Find JOY with Your Children this Summer // Molly Callister, Elisa Hunter, Julie Tobi

In this week’s episode, you will hear from three amazing mothers, all with unique life experiences, who are going to help us feel excited and encouraged to have fun with our children this summer:

Molly Callister is a stay-at-home mom, travel enthusiast and writer of a family travel blog called Exploring Through Life. Molly and her family manage to travel at least once a month, and they have taken their two young children to 20 states and soon-to-be 10 countries, including Cuba. This is all on one income and without any special time off! Today she is sharing how to have more meaningful travel with your family this summer

  1. A family trip with kids will never look like a trip without kids, and that’s okay. Be careful to balance their moods, interests and abilities when you schedule your days.
  2. It’s okay if your kids don’t remember their trip. The experiences your kids have while traveling shape their worldview and enrich the way they are learning and growing. 
  3. Incorporate things that your children love to do into your vacation planning. Do they love riding bikes? Hiking? Trains? 
Molly’s blog: Exploring Through Life, where she shares travel inspiration, destination guides and family travel tips.
Molly’s Instagram: @exploringthroughlife

 

 Elisa Hunter lives in Austin, Texas with her three children and one on the way. Elisa is passionate that we can each tailor motherhood to fit us as individuals. Her field is positive psychology, and today she shares about “job crafting”  your motherhood– the process of redefining and re-imagining your job to make it more enjoyable
  1. Identify your values, strengths, and passions. Make a list: what do you value? What do you consider to be most important in this life? What are you passionate about?
  2. Task craft: tailor your job as a mother to incorporate more of your strengths. (Doing more of what you enjoy and less of what you don’t.)
  3. Cognitive craft: if you can’t change the task, then perhaps you can change the way you think about it.
Elisa’s website for whole food, no sugar baking mixeswww.true-treats.com

Julie Tobi is the creator of The Birth Journal, a guided journal for moms to write their birth story. She is also a life coach focusing on career pivots. She has a Masters degree in counseling and deep appreciation for growth and development. Today she is sharing three subtle shifts and tips to help increase mindfulness in our kids.

  1. Shift how we talk about time. Presenting time as if it’s something we don’t have enough of or that it’s “running out” can lead to a scarcity mentality and feels stressful to kids.
  2. Talk about the beauty in scenarios that aren’t typically perceived as favorable (ex: rainy day). This will help prevent our kids from thinking things have to be perfect for there to be beauty and enjoyment.
  3. Model enjoying the ride, not just the destination. Our kids feed off of our energy, and often we set the pulse in the family.
Julie’s website:  thebirthjournal.com
Julie’s Instagram: @jelizacreative @thebirthjournal

086: 3 Easy Ways to Build Life-Long Bonds with Your Children

People are often amazed by just how close my sisters and I are to my dad. Our mom passed away when we were teenagers, so Dad planned our weddings, comes to help us after we have babies, and talks to us frequently about our lives.

I truly believe that the small but meaningful ways my dad bonded with us when we were young made all the difference when we lost our mom; we already had a solid relationship with him that has since blossomed into something truly beautiful and unique.

If you want a rock solid, life-long bond with your children, here are three easy ways that I learned from my dad:

  1. Play with them. Rely on small but consistent & memorable traditions.
  2. Talk with them. Show them you welcome and can handle their questions, and schedule regular times to check-in.
  3. Feel with them. Sit with them in their disappointments and their fears without trying to fix it.

 

Show Notes

I have teamed up with one of my dear friends, Monica Packer, who is the host of About Progress to launch Podcast University. It is an online school for all things podcasting, and we want to help you start or grow a podcast! Our first course Podcasting 101  is open for enrollment through the end of June. You can also take part in one of our FREE classes this month: 3 Things You Must Know Before You Start a Podcast.

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