016: How to Be the Mom You Are–Instead of the Mom You Think You Should Be // Julie Bastedo

Letting go of mom guilt can feel hard, but it is possible. Let me share a story to illustrate...  

I’ll never forget the day I texted my friend Julie about how much I struggle with meal planning. I told her I wanted to be the kind of mom who creates beautiful weekly menu, but the truth is, it overwhelms me.
I was feeling discouraged and inadequate, like I was failing at something that “good moms” are just supposed to do.
She surprised me when she said, “That’s not where you shine. And that’s okay.” She even shared a super simple meal plan—things like “breakfast for dinner” and “tacos with jarred salsa”—and reminded me that the goal is to feed your family, not to become a Pinterest chef. “Keep it simple,” she said. “You’re doing great.”

 

That moment stayed with me. Because it helped me see how often I was judging myself for not being good at things that don’t even need to be my strengths.

 

That’s exactly what today’s encore podcast episode is all about.

 

In this conversation, my dear friend and mentor Julie Bastedo shares a simple but profound shift she made when she found herself spiraling into comparison. Her story—and her list—will leave you feeling seen, grounded, and encouraged.

3 KEY TAKEAWAYS:

  • Make a list of what you do well—and own it. Julie started with a list of things she doesn’t do well or enjoy—organizing playdates, skiing, running websites, camping—and then flipped it. She made a second list: things she’s great at, like being patient, well-read, and thoughtful in how she volunteers at her kids’ school. When we stop trying to be someone else, we can finally see and celebrate who we already are.

  • Use social media to support your strengths—not sabotage them. Julie calls social media “ancillary material”—a supplement, not the standard. Follow accounts that enhance what you already enjoy and value. If something consistently makes you feel like you’re not enough, it’s okay to unfollow. You don’t need that voice in your head.

  • Accept that not everyone will get you—and that’s okay. When we embrace our strengths and let go of what’s not ours to carry, we won’t be everyone’s favorite person. We might disappoint people who expect us to be someone we’re not. That doesn’t mean we’re doing it wrong. It means we’re living with integrity.

I truly believe that almost no topic is more important for women and mothers–so I hope you will listen, and let me know what you think in the comments.

Related Episodes:

50 Ways to Lighten Your Mental Load

Are you feeling overwhelmed? Being a mom is a LOT! But there are things you can start today that can help. Grab this worksheet filled with 50 mental load lighteners to get started!
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2 thoughts on “016: How to Be the Mom You Are–Instead of the Mom You Think You Should Be // Julie Bastedo”

  1. Tracy

    Thank you! Loved getting this podcast episode after taking your motherhood check in quiz! Shared the quiz with a bunch of friends. Hopefully even just one of them can learn something about themselves.

    Reply

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