023: How to Stop Looking at your Phone and Why It Matters // Dr. Katie Penry, Licensed Clinical Psychologist

“Parents act as mirrors for their children. Children learn who they are in the reflection of another person’s watchful gaze.”

Dr. Katie Penry, a licensed clinical psychologist and mother of two young children, is on the podcast today teaching us the brain research behind why we need to look up from our phones and engage more with our little children.

And she doesn’t just tell us WHY to do this…she also tells us HOW! Listen in as she explains each of the following takeaways:


1) Decide on some sacred spaces and places where you will not use your phone. (This matters more than arbitrary time limits for yourself.)

2) Tell your kids what you are doing when you are looking at your phone.

3) Use your phone’s non-notification settings to help you be present at important times of day.


Listen to the podcast as an introduction to Dr. Penry’s work, and then head to her website to sign up for her email course called the “Look Up Challenge”: afriendlyaffair.com/lookupchallenge


Fascinating Facts from the Interview:

-Almost 80% of your child’s brain development happens from age 0-3 years, through consistent verbal and non-verbal interaction with their parents

-Look at your baby and attune to who they are and what they love–react to each other–Harvard Psychologists call this “Serve and Return”

-Daniel Stern, a renowned American psychologist, found that 70%-80% of the time that your baby is alert, he/she is looking at you.

-Babies are born able to see the exact distance from their biological mother’s eye to nipple. (!!!)

 You can read the full transcript from this episode here.

Show Notes:

-Dr. Katie Penry’s FREE email course, the #LookUpChallenge”: https://afriendlyaffair.lpages.co/look-up-challenge/

-Sign up to receive a monthly PDF of all the podcast takeaways: 3in30podcast.com

-Dr. Katie Penry’s website: https://www.afriendlyaffair.com/

-Dr. Katie Penry’s Instagram account: https://www.instagram.com/afriendlyaffair/

-Children’s book about the life of Nelle Harper Lee, the author of To Kill a Mockingbird: https://www.amazon.com/Alabama-Spitfire-Story-Harper-Mockingbird/dp/0062456709