He’s baaccck! Our favorite male guest is back on the podcast today teaching us how to communicate with our children in a way that builds trust.
Tony Overbay is a Licensed Family and Marriage Therapist and a father of four young adults, so he has professional and personal experience with this topic. Whether you are currently parenting teenagers, or you will be parenting teenagers in a few years, there is something for you in this episode!
Listen in to learn how to truly…
1) Invite open and honest communication, and practice not reacting to unexpected news/situations
2) Listen with empathy and recognize emotional bids (EFT)
3) Follow up with your children after serious conversations, to let them know that you heard them and care about them
-Tony’s first episode on 3 in 30, “How to Praise Your Child, Even When It Feels Like There is Nothing to Praise”: https://3in30podcast.com/praise/
-Tony’s website: tonyoverbay.com
-Tony’s podcast, The Virtual Couch: http://www.tonyoverbay.com/category/podcast/
–Tony’s top parenting book recommendation: Transforming the Difficult Child: The Nurtured-Heart Approach, https://amzn.to/2ucXf3C
-Emotionally-Focused Therapy, Sue Johnson: http://drsuejohnson.com/emotionally-focused-therapy-2/what-is-eft/
-Listeners in ARIZONA! I’m teaching a Declutter your Motherhood workshop on Saturday, September 21 with the amazing Mika Perry. Early bird pricing ends 7/29–so get your ticket now! All the details here: 3in30podcast.com/arizona
Let’s imagine that you have a friend who, every time you get together, tells you all the things that she doesn’t like about you and that she hopes you will change. Would you want to spend time with that friend or open up to her?
Unfortunately, this is the basis of a lot of our interactions with our children, especially as they reach the teen years. We feel such great responsibility to teach them that we fail to see their progress and just focus on everything we want them to change.
Brooke Romney (a returning guest from Episode 19, “How to Be a Friend Instead of Just Being Friendly”) is an expert in prioritizing connection in our relationships. Today she’s going to be teaching us how to talk *with* our teenagers instead of *at* them:
- Lecture less and listen more. Concentrate on seeing their good and compliment them; get excited about the things they are excited about; validate what they are going through.
- Elevate your conversation. Instead of asking, “How was your day?”, get comfortable with tackling real-world issues that feel relevant and important to them.
- Hold the judgment (of them and others). When you show grace with the faults of others, your kids realize you’ll show grace with their faults as well.
Brooke’s website: brookeromney.com
Check out Brooke’s weekly series “Teen Talk Tuesday” on her Instagram or Facebook: @brookeromneywrites
My next “Declutter Your Motherhood” workshop tickets are live! I will be teaching with Mika Perry in Chandler, Arizona on September 21st. Go to 3in30podcast.com/arizona for all the details. Early Bird pricing for the next two weeks only!
Hear me this week as a guest on Mika’s podcast: Good to Be Home.
It’s TEEN MONTH at 3 in 30, and I’m so excited to kick it off with two of my motherhood mentors, Tiffany Sowby and Allyson Reynolds, who I met about seven years ago when I worked for the organization Power of Moms.
The transition into motherhood and the different stages of it often comes with unexpected loneliness. As our children get older, their needs change, and they need us in different ways than they did when they were young.
Tiffany and Allison have 9 children between them, ranging in age from 21 down to 10 years old, and according to them, “What is hard when kids are little is easy when they’re older, and what is easy when they’re little can be challenging as they get older.”
Today, Tiffany and Allyson are sharing three takeaways for combating “the unexpected loneliness of parenting teens”:
- Find friends in real life you can trust. Unlike so much of the parenting advice that comes through social media, sharing the heavier things requires privacy and connection.
- Seek out resources that are available, including professional help. Book, blogs, and podcasts are easier to find for moms of young children, but they are still out there for moms of teens! And everyone needs a therapist!
- Enjoy the good. Even though your teens aren’t with you as often, it is truly FUN when they are: in these years, you get to develop your friendship with them and see their unique personalities emerge.
As a follow up to our wonderful series with Katherine Reynolds Lewis (click to listen to Part 1 and Part 2), I knew I wanted to re-air Episode 19 with Chrissy Austin, a speech language pathologist with 18 years of experience teaching children the skills they need to self-regulate.
All of our kids get stuck in behaviors that are difficult for us and others to deal with–perhaps it’s whining, interrupting, fighting with siblings, or defiance. According to Chrissty, these neurological “loops” can be rewired. She does it every day in her private practice, and, in this week’s episode, she teaches us how to do it in our homes! We can follow this simple three-step process with our kids:
1) Identify the specific troublesome behavior, and then ask yourself, “What SKILL does my child need to learn in order to change this behavior?”
2) Sit down with the child and make a GOAL to learn the new skill. Have him or her make it visual by writing it down and/or drawing a picture. Consider adding a hand cue.
3) Offer positive reinforcement through verbal praise whenever the child is working on their goal, and consider adding additional reinforcement through earning privileges, if needed.
Chrissy offers so many fantastic tips and interesting bits of research throughout the interview. You won’t want to miss it, especially if you sometimes struggle with knowing how to help your children change.
Are you interested in starting or growing your podcast?? I am so excited to announce a project I’ve been working on for months with my dear friend and podcasting colleague, Monica Packer. (Drum roll please!) Announcing… Podcast University!
Our mission with Podcast U is to help heart-fueled women build podcasts that make a difference. We would love to help YOU build a podcast you will love. Please go to 3in30podcast.com/podcastu for more information.
And don’t forget, we are offering several FREE classes this month. Click here to sign up for a spot now! aboutprogress.com/freeclass
Journaling has always been extremely important to me, but in the past year, as I’ve gotten super busy with the podcast, I have neglected this hobby that gives me joy and peace. I purposely chose this episode to air as an “encore” because I need the reminder of how important it is to reflect on and record the experiences we are having as mothers. I am recommitting to journaling, even in my busiest seasons!
The guest is my little sister, Laura Webb–a mother of two young children (with another due any day!) and a Chemistry and Math teacher. She does not consider herself a writer, but she is a diligent journal keeper, and in this episode, she shares her ideas for easy ways that we can fit record-keeping into our busy lives as moms.
Listen in as Laura details ideas for how to…
- Use technology to help us capture memories
- Find routine times or triggers to remind us to journal
- Remember that something is better than nothing when it comes to documenting our lives
What are your best ideas for keeping records of your motherhood experience? Please share them in the comments or on Instagram @3in30podcast. We want to learn from you!
How to Journal as a Busy Mom (Rachel’s article for Power of Moms)