I don’t know about you, but sometimes I feel truly stuck in a rut of nagging, bossing, and criticizing my children. This is not who I want to be–but when I can’t get my children to listen to me or to behave, what other option do I have??
Gratefully, Tony Overbay, a professional counselor and father of four, is on the podcast today to teach us a better way.
Using the principles of a powerful parenting and child development model called The Nurtured-Heart Approach, Tony shares four ways that we can effectively praise our children in order to energize the positive in them and in our homes:
Listen in as Tony teaches us how to acknowledge and praise…
1) What we see our children doing (active recognition)
2) What we see our children doing, plus what that shows about their greatness (experiential recognition)
3) What we don’t see our children doing (proactive recognition)
4) What we want to see our children doing (creative recognition)
This episode has the potential to change your parenting and the environment in your home forever. Don’t miss it!
Tony’s website: TonyOverbay.com
Tony’s podcast, The Virtual Couch: http://www.tonyoverbay.com/category/podcast/
Transforming the Difficult Child: The Nurtured-Heart Approach by Howard Glasser
PDF of the 4 Recognition Types: http://www.naswwv.org/index.php/documents/177-c1-wendy-baracka-transforming-the-difficult-child-nha-recognition-techniques/file
All of our kids get stuck in behaviors that are difficult for us and others to deal with–perhaps it’s whining, interrupting, fighting with siblings, or defiance.
According to Chrissy Austin, a speech language pathologist with 17 years of experience teaching children social skills and communication, these neurological “loops” can be rewired. She does it every day in her private practice, and, in this week’s episode, she teaches us how to do it! We can follow this simple three-step process with our kids, in our homes:
1) Identify the specific troublesome behavior, and then ask yourself, “What SKILL does my child need to learn in order to change this behavior?”
2) Sit down with the child and make a GOAL to learn the new skill. Have him or her make it visual by writing it down and/or drawing a picture. Consider adding a hand cue.
3) Offer positive reinforcement through verbal praise whenever the child is working on their goal, and consider adding additional reinforcement through earning privileges, if needed.
Chrissy offers so many fantastic tips and interesting bits of research throughout the interview. You won’t want to miss it, especially if you sometimes struggle with knowing how to help your children change.
-Michelle Garcia Winter: https://www.socialthinking.com/
-“Kids Beyond Limits” by Anat Baniel
-“Finally Focused” by James Greenblatt