It’s TEEN MONTH at 3 in 30, and I’m so excited to kick it off with two of my motherhood mentors, Tiffany Sowby and Allyson Reynolds, who I met about seven years ago when I worked for the organization Power of Moms.
The transition into motherhood and the different stages of it often comes with unexpected loneliness. As our children get older, their needs change, and they need us in different ways than they did when they were young.
Tiffany and Allison have 9 children between them, ranging in age from 21 down to 10 years old, and according to them, “What is hard when kids are little is easy when they’re older, and what is easy when they’re little can be challenging as they get older.”
Today, Tiffany and Allyson are sharing three takeaways for combating “the unexpected loneliness of parenting teens”:
- Find friends in real life you can trust. Unlike so much of the parenting advice that comes through social media, sharing the heavier things requires privacy and connection.
- Seek out resources that are available, including professional help. Book, blogs, and podcasts are easier to find for moms of young children, but they are still out there for moms of teens! And everyone needs a therapist!
- Enjoy the good. Even though your teens aren’t with you as often, it is truly FUN when they are: in these years, you get to develop your friendship with them and see their unique personalities emerge.
In this week’s episode, you will hear from three amazing mothers, all with unique life experiences, who are going to help us feel excited and encouraged to have fun with our children this summer:
Molly Callister is a stay-at-home mom, travel enthusiast and writer of a family travel blog called Exploring Through Life. Molly and her family manage to travel at least once a month, and they have taken their two young children to 20 states and soon-to-be 10 countries, including Cuba. This is all on one income and without any special time off! Today she is sharing how to have more meaningful travel with your family this summer:
- A family trip with kids will never look like a trip without kids, and that’s okay. Be careful to balance their moods, interests and abilities when you schedule your days.
- It’s okay if your kids don’t remember their trip. The experiences your kids have while traveling shape their worldview and enrich the way they are learning and growing.
- Incorporate things that your children love to do into your vacation planning. Do they love riding bikes? Hiking? Trains?
- Identify your values, strengths, and passions. Make a list: what do you value? What do you consider to be most important in this life? What are you passionate about?
- Task craft: tailor your job as a mother to incorporate more of your strengths. (Doing more of what you enjoy and less of what you don’t.)
- Cognitive craft: if you can’t change the task, then perhaps you can change the way you think about it.
Job Crafting Workbook: https://
Julie Tobi is the creator of The Birth Journal, a guided journal for moms to write their birth story. She is also a life coach focusing on career pivots. She has a Masters degree in counseling and deep appreciation for growth and development. Today she is sharing three subtle shifts and tips to help increase mindfulness in our kids.
- Shift how we talk about time. Presenting time as if it’s something we don’t have enough of or that it’s “running out” can lead to a scarcity mentality and feels stressful to kids.
- Talk about the beauty in scenarios that aren’t typically perceived as favorable (ex: rainy day). This will help prevent our kids from thinking things have to be perfect for there to be beauty and enjoyment.
- Model enjoying the ride, not just the destination. Our kids feed off of our energy, and often we set the pulse in the family.
People are often amazed by just how close my sisters and I are to my dad. Our mom passed away when we were teenagers, so Dad planned our weddings, comes to help us after we have babies, and talks to us frequently about our lives.
I truly believe that the small but meaningful ways my dad bonded with us when we were young made all the difference when we lost our mom; we already had a solid relationship with him that has since blossomed into something truly beautiful and unique.
If you want a rock solid, life-long bond with your children, here are three easy ways that I learned from my dad:
- Play with them. Rely on small but consistent & memorable traditions.
- Talk with them. Show them you welcome and can handle their questions, and schedule regular times to check-in.
- Feel with them. Sit with them in their disappointments and their fears without trying to fix it.
I have teamed up with one of my dear friends, Monica Packer, who is the host of About Progress to launch Podcast University. It is an online school for all things podcasting, and we want to help you start or grow a podcast! Our first course Podcasting 101 is open for enrollment through the end of June. You can also take part in one of our FREE classes this month: 3 Things You Must Know Before You Start a Podcast.
There’s still time to fill out my demographic survey! Please take a few minutes and go to: 3in30podcast.com/survey
**Please fill out the 3 in 30 Demographics Survey! It will take you less than 5 minutes, and it will truly help me so much!! Click >>>> here <<<<<<.
Last week, Katherine Reynolds Lewis, the author of The Good News About Bad Behavior: Why Kids Are Less Disciplined Than Ever– And What to Do About It, taught us that children today are fundamentally different than past generations. Not because they’re born different, but because the world they are growing up in is so different. In previous generations, typical kids developed self-regulation skills through their day-to-day life of playing with friends, being outside, and working alongside their families. But modern cultural factors including less unstructured play and time outdoors, more exposure to media and technology, and more pressure from academic and extra curricular expectations are undermining the natural development of impulse control, self confidence and patience within our kids.
Katherine Reynolds Lewis spent over five years researching parenting and discipline techniques, and she found that there are many effective discipline methods in practice today that teach children how to take ownership of their choices and their emotions and gain the emotional skills they need to self regulate. These transformative discipline methods all share some common elements (that all happen to start with “C”):
- Connection: Relationship is the foundation. If we try to discipline our kids before we have that connection, it’s not going to go well.
- Communication: Asking questions, posing “what ifs” and getting more information helps children to process and build their problem-solving and critical-thinking skills
- Capability-building: We must focus on helping children build both life skills around the house and social and emotional skills.
If you missed last week’s episode, part one of this discussion, you are going to want to go back and listen to that!
Want an opportunity to win one of my workshop gift bags??? They have products from the five mom-run businesses that have been featured on the podcast the last couple of weeks. This is a $100 value, and all you have to do is fill out a 3 in 30 Demographic Survey. Whether or not you are interested in a gift bag, I would really appreciate you taking a few minutes to fill out the survey.
The more I share my heart on this podcast, the more often people reach out to me and share their hearts and stories. And over the past year, many listeners have told me about their heartache over *not* being raised by a loving mother.
I’ve had listeners relay stories to me about mothers who were emotionally absent or even emotionally or physically abusive. These listeners confide in me what a sometimes overwhelming task it is to be a loving mother when you never really saw that modeled.
But these warrior mothers are doing all that they can to change the trajectory of that family pattern of parenting. To raise their own children with the love that they themselves were not given.
Today on the podcast, I have one of those warrior moms who’s going to share her insights on how to be a loving mother even if you weren’t raised by one. Sarah Badat-Richardson was born and raised in Reunion Island off the coast of South Africa, and she now lives in Hawaii. She’s a blogger and has also published articles on the website Power of Moms. She runs an international self-defense school with her husband, and she is a black belt in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. One of her greatest accomplishments is that she is the mother to a beautiful 9-year-old girl, and she works every day to overcome the difficult relationship she had with her own mother so she can become the mother she wants to be for her daughter.
Sarah shares some of her journey with us today, and her three insightful takeaways are:
- Accept your plight. Accept who your mother was or is, and accept that the way you were brought up is not your fault.
- Bring your healthiest self. Take care of your body through food, sleep, and nutrition, and take care of your soul by paying attention to your thoughts and words.
- Embrace who you are. Share your talents and passions with your children, and give yourself a pat on the back for every good thing you do.
Sarah’s blog: sarahbadatrichardson.com
Sarah’s essay she wrote in preparation for our interview: sarahbadatrichardson.com/how-to-be-a-good-mom-even-if-you-didnt-have-one
Will I Ever Be Good Enough? Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers by Dr. Karl McBride
Jody Moore’s podcast Better Than Happy
Sarah’s three favorite mothers in literature: 1. Ma from Little House on the Prarie, 2. Marmie from Little Women, 3. Jo from Little Men
Dr. Laura quote:
“You have two chances at a healthy parent-child relationship. The first time, you’re a child and you have no power. The second time, you’re the parent and you have all the power.”
Many thanks to our Declutter our Motherhood Workshop Sponsors!!
- Honey Coast Home–The first ten orders to use the code 3in30 get a free Lemon-Aid candle!
- Missy VanWagoner–20% off this week only if you email or DM Missy directly and tell her you heard about her on the 3in30! email@example.com, @missyvanwagoner on Instagram
- Simple and Blush Headscarves–20% off with the code 3in30