As a teen, did you ever find yourself giving up parts of who you were in order to fit in and feel accepted? Would you be able to admit, or even recognize, if you were still doing that as a mom? In this phase of our lives, we aren’t always put in peer pressure situations where our values are directly questioned by others, but managing our own expectations of who we think we “should” be and comparing our family to other families creates walls that limit us.
Tawni Beardall and Erica Peterson are the co-hosts of a podcast for teens called Becoming. Tawni and Erica have become my real-life friends, and they hosted my first-ever Declutter Your Motherhood workshop. I absolutely love these ladies, and am so grateful for the work they are doing. In this episode, they point out three ways that we are a lot like the teenagers in our lives and give suggestions for how we can “overcome our inner teen”:
- Have a threshold of zero. Do what is right (and right for you) no matter how many people are doing something different.
- Do work. We resist hard work for ourselves AND for our kids. And as human beings, we truly need the blessings of work.
- Make and keep friends. Our need for close friendships does not end after high school! Prioritize it, put yourself out there, and use people’s names.
A Million Miles in a Thousand Years by Donald Miller
-ARIZONA, I’m coming your way! I’m teaching a Declutter Your Motherhood workshop on Saturday, September 21 with the amazing Mika Perry. Get your tickets now! All the details here: 3in30podcast.com/arizona
People are often amazed by just how close my sisters and I are to my dad. Our mom passed away when we were teenagers, so Dad planned our weddings, comes to help us after we have babies, and talks to us frequently about our lives.
I truly believe that the small but meaningful ways my dad bonded with us when we were young made all the difference when we lost our mom; we already had a solid relationship with him that has since blossomed into something truly beautiful and unique.
If you want a rock solid, life-long bond with your children, here are three easy ways that I learned from my dad:
- Play with them. Rely on small but consistent & memorable traditions.
- Talk with them. Show them you welcome and can handle their questions, and schedule regular times to check-in.
- Feel with them. Sit with them in their disappointments and their fears without trying to fix it.
I have teamed up with one of my dear friends, Monica Packer, who is the host of About Progress to launch Podcast University. It is an online school for all things podcasting, and we want to help you start or grow a podcast! Our first course Podcasting 101 is open for enrollment through the end of June. You can also take part in one of our FREE classes this month: 3 Things You Must Know Before You Start a Podcast.
There’s still time to fill out my demographic survey! Please take a few minutes and go to: 3in30podcast.com/survey
I think we all know that parenting can be hard– but from what I’ve heard, step-parenting is even harder. Think about some of the struggles you face with your children– maybe it’s dealing with sassy attitudes or figuring out the rules and technology expectations in your home. Then imagine trying to navigate all of that with children who also have another parent or set of parents and another home they live in part of the time. I can only imagine how complicated that must get and how many big emotions are involved.
Today’s guest, Amanda Louder–a life coach, podcaster, mother of three, and stepmother of two–gives three takeaways that have helped her navigate and embrace her blended family:
1) Treat your step children as equals to your own children: give them the same amount of love, responsibility, and discipline
2) Understand that he was their dad first
3) Try to find a new family culture
Amanda has such a positive outlook as she strives to “live from love” in the relationships she has with all of her children.
Podcast: Live from Love
“To the Mom Who Doesn’t Feel Like a Mother, Yet”– blog post by Katie Davis Majors
“Parenting After Divorce” online Conference–sign up soon because it ends March 15th!
They say love is patient; love is kind. But the truth is, sometimes it’s not EASY for love to be either of those things, especially when you are facing a devastating betrayal.
“Betrayal” can be discovering a spouse’s affair or addiction, learning that he/she has not been honest in their business dealings and has put the family’s well-being in jeopardy, and many other situations. You are faced with shattering grief, and often don’t know where to turn for support because the trial is so personal and involves someone else. It can feel so isolating.
Mika Perry—a mother, blogger, and professional organizer—has been there. In 2012 she discovered that her husband, Russ, was having an affair. Over the years since, she and Russ have worked toward healing and now openly share their story to help those suffering in silence.
Today on the show, Mika shares her experience of what life after betrayal looked like for her and how it ultimately led to a life of truth, abundance, faith, and purpose.
This is an incredibly personal and tender topic, and whether or not you choose to stay married after a betrayal, this episode will bring you hope. Please pass the episode along to someone who might need to know they are not alone.
Mika’s Instagram: @mikaperry
Mika’s website: mikaperry.com
-The blog post where Mika first opened up about the affair:
Mika and Russ’ podcast “Good to be Home.” Episode 2 is where Mika and Russ share their story
Russ Perry’s book, The Sober Entrepreneur: starts with affair and goes through the process of getting sober and building a business.
If you are struggling with betrayal trauma, here are some resources:
Caitlin Olson, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, specializes in addiction recovery and betrayal trauma. You can find her on Instagram: @caitlinolsenmft
Sariah Hoffman, certified yoga therapist, of @backpocketyoga on Instagram
Ashlynn and Coby on Instagram: @ashlynnandcoby and their podcast “The Betrayed, The Addicted, The Expert” features 3 different perspectives on topics dealing with relationships, recovery, betrayal and addiction.
Rachel and Jenae specialize in betrayal trauma (BT)- find them on Instagram: @couchtalktime
Center for Hope and Healing in Lehi, UT
Betrayal Trauma Recovery btr.org
What Can I Do About Me? by Rhyll Ann Croshaw
Treating Trauma from Sexual Betrayal by Kevin Skinner
This is the first time I’ve ever cried while recording a podcast episode. It’s also the first time I’ve ever recorded while whispering in a bathroom during a family reunion. So basically, prepare yourself–this is going to be vulnerable and possibly bizarre for 3 in 30! Ultimately, I hope it’s helpful as you navigate your own relationships and consider how to show more love in situations that can be complicated.
The beginning of this episode is an excerpt from my interview with Tony Overbay for *his* podcast, The Virtual Couch. Tony is such a warm and caring podcast host, I felt comfortable sharing one of the most sacred experiences of my life with him–and now I share it with you. I can truly say that this experience with prayer changed the course of my life.
In the second half of the episode, I add three takeaways and further explain my thoughts on how to love someone when it’s hard.
This episode is truly a piece of my heart and soul. I hope you enjoy it.
-Full episode on Tony Overbay’s podcast, The Virtual Couch: http://www.tonyoverbay.com/2018/05/07/episode-54-in-vitro-fertilization-and-open-adoption-w-rachel-nielson-host-of-3-in-30-takeaways-for-moms/
-Mother on Instagram who I love to follow: https://www.instagram.com/kellyejensen/