The more I share my heart on this podcast, the more often people reach out to me and share their hearts and stories. And over the past year, many listeners have told me about their heartache over *not* being raised by a loving mother.
I’ve had listeners relay stories to me about mothers who were emotionally absent or even emotionally or physically abusive. These listeners confide in me what a sometimes overwhelming task it is to be a loving mother when you never really saw that modeled.
But these warrior mothers are doing all that they can to change the trajectory of that family pattern of parenting. To raise their own children with the love that they themselves were not given.
Today on the podcast, I have one of those warrior moms who’s going to share her insights on how to be a loving mother even if you weren’t raised by one. Sarah Badat-Richardson was born and raised in Reunion Island off the coast of South Africa, and she now lives in Hawaii. She’s a blogger and has also published articles on the website Power of Moms. She runs an international self-defense school with her husband, and she is a black belt in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. One of her greatest accomplishments is that she is the mother to a beautiful 9-year-old girl, and she works every day to overcome the difficult relationship she had with her own mother so she can become the mother she wants to be for her daughter.
Sarah shares some of her journey with us today, and her three insightful takeaways are:
- Accept your plight. Accept who your mother was or is, and accept that the way you were brought up is not your fault.
- Bring your healthiest self. Take care of your body through food, sleep, and nutrition, and take care of your soul by paying attention to your thoughts and words.
- Embrace who you are. Share your talents and passions with your children, and give yourself a pat on the back for every good thing you do.
Sarah’s blog: sarahbadatrichardson.com
Sarah’s essay she wrote in preparation for our interview: sarahbadatrichardson.com/how-to-be-a-good-mom-even-if-you-didnt-have-one
Will I Ever Be Good Enough? Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers by Dr. Karl McBride
Jody Moore’s podcast Better Than Happy
Sarah’s three favorite mothers in literature: 1. Ma from Little House on the Prarie, 2. Marmie from Little Women, 3. Jo from Little Men
Dr. Laura quote:
“You have two chances at a healthy parent-child relationship. The first time, you’re a child and you have no power. The second time, you’re the parent and you have all the power.”
Many thanks to our Declutter our Motherhood Workshop Sponsors!!
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As mothers, this can be a hard stage of life to find and maintain meaningful friendships.
Many of us feel busy and overwhelmed–barely managing the needs of our own families.
Opportunities to connect with other women might feel scarce, depending on the ages and needs of our children.
Sometimes it’s just easier to give a friendly wave or a quick hello in the hallway at church than to invest in a real friendship with someone.
In this week’s episode, Brooke Romney, a mother of four and a professional writer, shares totally doable ways that we can be good friends to other women, even if we are busy, shy, or maxed out on life.
Brooke discusses each of the following takeaways, offering concrete ideas within each:
1) Take advantage of small opportunities to build connection by simply being present wherever we are.
2) Follow the advice that we give our children about being a good friend.
3) Don’t wait for life conditions to be perfect before extending friendship to others.
Don’t miss this conversation where we learn how to go beyond just being friendly, to start being real friends.
-Brooke’s website: brookeromney.com/
-Brooke’s article in the Deseret News: “It’s Time to Stop Being Friendly and Start Being a Friend”
-Rachel’s Instagram: @3in30podcast
-Brooke’s Instagram: @brookeromneywrites
One year ago, I saw my son’s birthmom for the last time. She had come to spend the weekend with us for Noah’s 6th birthday, and it is a weekend I will never forget. We explored the mountains near our new home, roasted marshmallows over a summer bonfire, and poured love on the amazing little boy who had brought us all so much joy.
Before she left, we took photos on our front porch at sunset, and I marveled at the miracle of open adoption. I snapped a photo of her kissing Noah’s cheek, never imagining that it would be the last photo I would take of them together.
Three months later, November 2017, Katie took her own life after a long battle with mental illness. I recorded this episode a few days after I received the news of her death. As I grappled with how I could possibly face this loss, I decided to share “Three Messages of Hope for the Darkest Times.” Within this episode, I talk about my journey with infertility, which ultimately lead me the miracle of Noah and his beautiful birthmom, Katie.
I re-air the episode today in honor of Noah’s birthday, which I always shared with Katie.
Infertility and Adoption Grants: bundledblessingsfertility.com
I want to meet you!
-Rediscover YOU! Workshop in Utah (September 28-29): https://www.eventbrite.com/e/rediscover-you-workshop-tickets-47833978718
-The Pearl Conference In Las Vegas, NV (November 17): https://www.eventbrite.com/e/the-pearl-conference-a-conference-for-mothers-tickets-48097368524
How do we stay positive when we face incomprehensible trials? How do we endure well and allow our struggles to soften and strengthen us? And perhaps most importantly, how do we model this kind of resilience for our children?
Today on the podcast, Ralphie Jacobs, the respected parenting expert from Simply on Purpose, talks about her heroic father who, as a father of nine children, was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis when Ralphie was five years old. He lost the ability to walk by the time Ralphie was ten, and he has endured MS for over 30 years.
This interview is especially meaningful because Ralphie’s father joins us on the call. Ralphie wanted him to hear her tribute to him and to add his own thoughts to the discussion–and it is a truly tender and touching conversation between a beloved father and “his girl.”
I felt honored to be apart of this sacred conversation, and I know you will feel the same after you listen. You will come away braver, more determined to stay positive, and completely inspired to invest in your children when they are young–so you can have rich relationships with them that last a lifetime.
-Ralphie’s Instagram account and teaching platform, Simply on Purpose: https://www.instagram.com/simplyonpurpose/?hl=en
-Ralphie’s interview on the Extraordinary Moms Podcast: https://extraordinarymomspodcast.com/ralphie/
-Ralphie’s first interview on 3 in 30, “How to Step Yelling at Your Kids”: https://3in30podcast.com/yelling/
The past few weeks at our house have been so busy that I’ve slipped into some negative self-talk and coping behaviors. Whenever this happens, I feel so frustrated with myself, thinking, “Rachel, you know better than this! You’ve learned great strategies in counseling over the past six years to help you stay in the positive!”
That’s when I remind myself that recovery isn’t linear. We can have little setbacks along the way, without being all the way back at the beginning. Yes, I’ve come a long way since the beginning of my therapy journey, but I’m still learning and practicing–and that’s okay.
This Encore episode is as much as reminder for ME as it is for you. I’ve recorded a new intro to tell you what’s going on in my life right now, and then I re-air what I consider to be one of the most important episodes I’ve ever published.
Whether or not you’ve listened to this episode before, I hope you will listen!
“The Surprising Way I Confronted my Eating Disorder” (narrative therapy): https://powerofmoms.com/eating-disorder/
“Listening to and Loving your Body through Intuitive Eating” (podcast on Power of Moms): https://powerofmoms.com/intuitive-eating/