Posts Tagged ‘teenagers’

090: How to Talk With Your Teens Instead of at Them // Brooke Romney

Let’s imagine that you have a friend who, every time you get together, tells you all the things that she doesn’t like about you and that she hopes you will change. Would you want to spend time with that friend or open up to her?

Unfortunately, this is the basis of a lot of our interactions with our children, especially as they reach the teen years. We feel such great responsibility to teach them that we fail to see their progress and just focus on everything we want them to change.

Brooke Romney (a returning guest from Episode 19, “How to Be a Friend Instead of Just Being Friendly”) is an expert in prioritizing connection in our relationships. Today she’s going to be teaching us how to talk *with* our teenagers instead of *at* them:

  1. Lecture less and listen more. Concentrate on seeing their good and compliment them; get excited about the things they are excited about; validate what they are going through. 
  2. Elevate your conversation. Instead of asking, “How was your day?”, get comfortable with tackling real-world issues that feel relevant and important to them. 
  3. Hold the judgment (of them and others). When you show grace with the faults of others, your kids realize you’ll show grace with their faults as well.

Show Notes:

Brooke’s website: brookeromney.com

Check out Brooke’s weekly series “Teen Talk Tuesday” on her Instagram or Facebook: @brookeromneywrites 

My next “Declutter Your Motherhood” workshop tickets are live! I will be teaching with Mika Perry in Chandler, Arizona on September 21st. Go to 3in30podcast.com/arizona for all the details.  Early Bird pricing for the next two weeks only!

Hear me this week as a guest on Mika’s podcast: Good to Be Home.

038: How to Get your Teenagers to Talk to You (and it Starts When They are Young) // Tony Overbay, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

A therapist explains three concrete strategies we can use to help our teenagers know that they can trust us and talk to us

He’s baaccck!  Our favorite male guest is back on the podcast today teaching us how to talk to our children in a way that fosters trust and communication–so they know they can talk to us into their teenage years and beyond.

Tony Overbay is a Licensed Family and Marriage Therapist and a father of four young adults, so he has professional and personal experience with this topic.  Whether you are currently parenting teenagers, or you will be parenting teenagers in a few years, there is something for you in this episode!

Listen in to learn how to truly…

1) Invite open and honest communication, no matter what

2) Listen with empathy and recognize emotional bids (EFT)

3) Follow up to let your children know that their thoughts matter to you

Show Notes

-Tony’s first episode on 3 in 30, “How to Praise Your Child, Even When It Feels Like There is Nothing to Praise”: https://3in30podcast.com/praise/

-Tony’s website: tonyoverbay.com

-Tony’s podcast, The Virtual Couch: http://www.tonyoverbay.com/category/podcast/

Tony’s top parenting book recommendation: Transforming the Difficult Child: The Nurtured-Heart Approach, https://amzn.to/2ucXf3C

-Emotionally-Focused Therapy, Sue Johnson: http://drsuejohnson.com/emotionally-focused-therapy-2/what-is-eft/