Posts Tagged ‘teens’

094: How to Help your Teen Live a Better Story

3 takeaways for how to invite your teenager into a better story, particularly if they are rebelling or struggling to know who they are

Do you have a teen who is struggling, floundering, or fighting with you constantly? If so, do you find yourself wondering how to help your teen see within themselves the hero of a truly great story?

In today’s episode, Rachel explores how to help your teen transition into a better story. She shares three takeaways from one of her all-time favorite books, A Million Miles in a Thousand Years: How I Learned to Live a Better Story by Donald Miller:

  1. Trust the story that your teen wants to create.
  2. Create an opportunity for your child to live a better story.
  3. Improve your current story with your teen by embracing whimsy and adding in memorable scenes.

Please tell us in the comments your biggest “ah-hahs” and applications as you listen. We love hearing from you!

094: How to Help your Teen Live a Better Story by popular motherhood podcast, 3 in 30: image of two teenage girls sitting next to each other and smiling at one another.

Show Notes

A Million Miles in a Thousand Years by Donald Miller

Audiobook version here

Bob Goff’s book, Everybody Always

**Sign up for my weekly email to receive tips of traveling with kids in Glacier National Park and a worksheet for helping your teens live a better story: 3in30podcast.com/takeaways.

Listen to this episode

092: Overcoming Your Inner Teen // Tawni Beardall and Erica Peterson

As a teen, did you ever find yourself giving up parts of who you were in order to fit in and feel accepted? Would you be able to admit, or even recognize, if you were still doing that as a mom? In this phase of our lives, we aren’t always put in peer pressure situations where our values are directly questioned by others, but managing our own expectations of who we think we “should” be and comparing our family to other families creates walls that limit us.

Tawni Beardall and Erica Peterson are the co-hosts of a podcast for teens called Becoming. Tawni and Erica have become my real-life friends, and they hosted my first-ever Declutter Your Motherhood workshop. I absolutely love these ladies, and am so grateful for the work they are doing. In this episode, they point out three ways that we are a lot like the teenagers in our lives and give suggestions for how we can “overcome our inner teen”:

  1. Have a threshold of zero. Do what is right (and right for you) no matter how many people are doing something different.
  2. Do work. We resist hard work for ourselves AND for our kids. And as human beings, we truly need the blessings of work.
  3. Make and keep friends. Our need for close friendships does not end after high school! Prioritize it, put yourself out there, and use people’s names.

Show Notes:  

Instagram: @becoming_for_teens 
Podcast: Becoming For Teens 

Mark Grenovetter

A Million Miles in a Thousand Years by Donald Miller

-ARIZONA, I’m coming your way! I’m teaching a Declutter Your Motherhood workshop on Saturday, September 21 with the amazing Mika Perry. Get your tickets now! All the details here: 3in30podcast.com/arizona

091: How to Earn (And Keep) Your Teen’s Trust (Encore!) // Tony Overbay, LMFT

He’s baaccck!  Our favorite male guest is back on the podcast today teaching us how to communicate with our children in a way that builds trust.

Tony Overbay is a Licensed Family and Marriage Therapist and a father of four young adults, so he has professional and personal experience with this topic.  Whether you are currently parenting teenagers, or you will be parenting teenagers in a few years, there is something for you in this episode!

Listen in to learn how to truly…

1) Invite open and honest communication, and practice not reacting to unexpected news/situations

2) Listen with empathy and recognize emotional bids (EFT)

3) Follow up with your children after serious conversations, to let them know that you heard them and care about them

Show Notes

-Tony’s first episode on 3 in 30, “How to Praise Your Child, Even When It Feels Like There is Nothing to Praise”: https://3in30podcast.com/praise/

-Tony’s website: tonyoverbay.com

-Tony’s podcast, The Virtual Couch: http://www.tonyoverbay.com/category/podcast/

Tony’s top parenting book recommendation: Transforming the Difficult Child: The Nurtured-Heart Approach, https://amzn.to/2ucXf3C

-Emotionally-Focused Therapy, Sue Johnson: http://drsuejohnson.com/emotionally-focused-therapy-2/what-is-eft/

Important Announcement!

-Listeners in ARIZONA! I’m teaching a Declutter your Motherhood workshop on Saturday, September 21 with the amazing Mika Perry. Early bird pricing ends 7/29–so get your ticket now! All the details here: 3in30podcast.com/arizona

090: How to Talk With Your Teens Instead of at Them // Brooke Romney

Let’s imagine that you have a friend who, every time you get together, tells you all the things that she doesn’t like about you and that she hopes you will change. Would you want to spend time with that friend or open up to her?

Unfortunately, this is the basis of a lot of our interactions with our children, especially as they reach the teen years. We feel such great responsibility to teach them that we fail to see their progress and just focus on everything we want them to change.

Brooke Romney (a returning guest from Episode 19, “How to Be a Friend Instead of Just Being Friendly”) is an expert in prioritizing connection in our relationships. Today she’s going to be teaching us how to talk *with* our teenagers instead of *at* them:

  1. Lecture less and listen more. Concentrate on seeing their good and compliment them; get excited about the things they are excited about; validate what they are going through. 
  2. Elevate your conversation. Instead of asking, “How was your day?”, get comfortable with tackling real-world issues that feel relevant and important to them. 
  3. Hold the judgment (of them and others). When you show grace with the faults of others, your kids realize you’ll show grace with their faults as well.

Show Notes:

Brooke’s website: brookeromney.com

Check out Brooke’s weekly series “Teen Talk Tuesday” on her Instagram or Facebook: @brookeromneywrites 

My next “Declutter Your Motherhood” workshop tickets are live! I will be teaching with Mika Perry in Chandler, Arizona on September 21st. Go to 3in30podcast.com/arizona for all the details.  Early Bird pricing for the next two weeks only!

Hear me this week as a guest on Mika’s podcast: Good to Be Home.

089: When Should I Give My Teen a Cell Phone? // Andrea Davis of Better Screen Time

When I was a senior in high school, my parents got me my first cell phone so I could touch base with them if I was at after school activities or out with friends. This was not a big decision for them. My simple phone was harmless– it did not have the internet or even texting.

Oh how times have changed. Today, parents have to consider so many more factors before handing over a phone to their children, because with smartphones, teens can be exposed to cyber bullying, sexting, pornography, increased comparison with others, etc.

Today’s guest, Andrea Davis, is a mother of five and the founder of Better Screen Time. She is passionate about helping parents navigate technology. She does not want us to feel afraid but rather empowered with tools and know-how to make smart, safe decisions regarding technology within our families. Here are three takeaways to help us decide when to give our teens a smart phone:

  1. Find five parents who are just a few years ahead of you in parenting and ask them how they have handled technology and cell phones with their children.
  2. Work with your family to create healthy tech boundaries. It’s important to give our kids some ownership in our family technology plan and the opportunity to share their opinions and thoughts.
  3. Listen to your gut, but also listen to your teen. This will help them learn the “why” behind the decisions you make.

Show Notes

Andrea’s website: betterscreentime.com 
Andrea’s Instagram: @betterscreentime

Here are the great resources Andrea mentioned in the interview:

More helpful links:

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