Posts Tagged ‘teens’

091: How to Earn (And Keep) Your Teen’s Trust (Encore!) // Tony Overbay, LMFT

He’s baaccck!  Our favorite male guest is back on the podcast today teaching us how to communicate with our children in a way that builds trust.

Tony Overbay is a Licensed Family and Marriage Therapist and a father of four young adults, so he has professional and personal experience with this topic.  Whether you are currently parenting teenagers, or you will be parenting teenagers in a few years, there is something for you in this episode!

Listen in to learn how to truly…

1) Invite open and honest communication, and practice not reacting to unexpected news/situations

2) Listen with empathy and recognize emotional bids (EFT)

3) Follow up with your children after serious conversations, to let them know that you heard them and care about them

Show Notes

-Tony’s first episode on 3 in 30, “How to Praise Your Child, Even When It Feels Like There is Nothing to Praise”: https://3in30podcast.com/praise/

-Tony’s website: tonyoverbay.com

-Tony’s podcast, The Virtual Couch: http://www.tonyoverbay.com/category/podcast/

Tony’s top parenting book recommendation: Transforming the Difficult Child: The Nurtured-Heart Approach, https://amzn.to/2ucXf3C

-Emotionally-Focused Therapy, Sue Johnson: http://drsuejohnson.com/emotionally-focused-therapy-2/what-is-eft/

Important Announcement!

-Listeners in ARIZONA! I’m teaching a Declutter your Motherhood workshop on Saturday, September 21 with the amazing Mika Perry. Early bird pricing ends 7/29–so get your ticket now! All the details here: 3in30podcast.com/arizona

090: How to Talk With Your Teens Instead of at Them // Brooke Romney

Let’s imagine that you have a friend who, every time you get together, tells you all the things that she doesn’t like about you and that she hopes you will change. Would you want to spend time with that friend or open up to her?

Unfortunately, this is the basis of a lot of our interactions with our children, especially as they reach the teen years. We feel such great responsibility to teach them that we fail to see their progress and just focus on everything we want them to change.

Brooke Romney (a returning guest from Episode 19, “How to Be a Friend Instead of Just Being Friendly”) is an expert in prioritizing connection in our relationships. Today she’s going to be teaching us how to talk *with* our teenagers instead of *at* them:

  1. Lecture less and listen more. Concentrate on seeing their good and compliment them; get excited about the things they are excited about; validate what they are going through. 
  2. Elevate your conversation. Instead of asking, “How was your day?”, get comfortable with tackling real-world issues that feel relevant and important to them. 
  3. Hold the judgment (of them and others). When you show grace with the faults of others, your kids realize you’ll show grace with their faults as well.

Show Notes:

Brooke’s website: brookeromney.com

Check out Brooke’s weekly series “Teen Talk Tuesday” on her Instagram or Facebook: @brookeromneywrites 

My next “Declutter Your Motherhood” workshop tickets are live! I will be teaching with Mika Perry in Chandler, Arizona on September 21st. Go to 3in30podcast.com/arizona for all the details.  Early Bird pricing for the next two weeks only!

Hear me this week as a guest on Mika’s podcast: Good to Be Home.

089: When Should I Give My Teen a Cell Phone? // Andrea Davis of Better Screen Time

When I was a senior in high school, my parents got me my first cell phone so I could touch base with them if I was at after school activities or out with friends. This was not a big decision for them. My simple phone was harmless– it did not have the internet or even texting.

Oh how times have changed. Today, parents have to consider so many more factors before handing over a phone to their children, because with smartphones, teens can be exposed to cyber bullying, sexting, pornography, increased comparison with others, etc.

Today’s guest, Andrea Davis, is a mother of five and the founder of Better Screen Time. She is passionate about helping parents navigate technology. She does not want us to feel afraid but rather empowered with tools and know-how to make smart, safe decisions regarding technology within our families. Here are three takeaways to help us decide when to give our teens a smart phone:

  1. Find five parents who are just a few years ahead of you in parenting and ask them how they have handled technology and cell phones with their children.
  2. Work with your family to create healthy tech boundaries. It’s important to give our kids some ownership in our family technology plan and the opportunity to share their opinions and thoughts.
  3. Listen to your gut, but also listen to your teen. This will help them learn the “why” behind the decisions you make.

Show Notes

Andrea’s website: betterscreentime.com 
Andrea’s Instagram: @betterscreentime

Here are the great resources Andrea mentioned in the interview:

More helpful links:

**We are so excited about July’s affiliate sponsor! Try Stitch Fix today and support 3 in 30! (Click the link to see Rachel’s Stitch Fix wardrobe!) 3in30podcast.com/stitchfix

088: The Unexpected Loneliness of Parenting Teens // Tiffany and Allyson from The Sisterhood Podcast

It’s TEEN MONTH at 3 in 30, and I’m so excited to kick it off with two of my motherhood mentors, Tiffany Sowby and Allyson Reynolds, who I met about seven years ago when I worked for the organization Power of Moms.

The transition into motherhood and the different stages of it often comes with unexpected loneliness. As our children get older, their needs change, and they need us in different ways than they did when they were young.

Tiffany and Allison have 9 children between them, ranging in age from 21 down to 10 years old, and according to them, “What is hard when kids are little is easy when they’re older, and what is easy when they’re little can be challenging as they get older.”

Today, Tiffany and Allyson are sharing three takeaways for combating “the unexpected loneliness of parenting teens”:

  1. Find friends in real life you can trust. Unlike so much of the parenting advice that comes through social media, sharing the heavier things requires privacy and connection.
  2. Seek out resources that are available, including professional help. Book, blogs, and podcasts are easier to find for moms of young children, but they are still out there for moms of teens! And everyone needs a therapist!
  3. Enjoy the good. Even though your teens aren’t with you as often, it is truly FUN when they are: in these years, you get to develop your friendship with them and see their unique personalities emerge.

Show Notes

Tiffany and Allyson’s podcast: The Sisterhood Podcast
Instagram: @thesisterhoodpodcast

**We are so excited about July’s affiliate sponsor! Try Stitch Fix today and support 3 in 30! (Click the link to see Rachel’s Stitch Fix wardrobe!) 3in30podcast.com/stitchfix

056: How to Raise a Polite Teenager // Devon Wellington, Psychologist and Cotillion Director

3 Takeaways for Teaching Teens to be Polite

Do you ever worry that your children, who are growing up in the era of the smartphone, aren’t going to know how to look someone in the eye, have a genuine conversation with them, and display respect and courtesy?

I know that I worry about this a lot!  But today’s guest, Devon Wellington–a mother, a developmental psychologist, and the co-director of the Northern Virginia Chapters of the National League of Junior Cotillions–assures us that there is a lot we can do as mothers to teach our children these essential life skills.

In this episode, Devon shares strategies for how to teach our teenagers…

  1. How to show appreciation
  2. How to make a proper introduction
  3. How to be present where you are

This is a fascinating episode with many practical gems–don’t miss it.

Show Notes

Devon’s Instagram account: https://www.instagram.com/etiquette_and_class/

Devon’s Cotillion website: https://nljc.com/n/index.php/chapters/northernvirginiachapters/group

‘On Being’ with Krista Tippett and Greg Boyle: https://onbeing.org/programs/greg-boyle-the-calling-of-delight-gangs-service-and-kinship-nov2017/

**Join our community on Instagram!  Each week, I post content that relates to the most recent episode, and it’s where I get to engage with listeners.  I love it, and I’d love to meet you over there! https://www.instagram.com/3in30podcast/