090: How to Talk With Your Teens Instead of at Them // Brooke Romney

Let’s imagine that you have a friend who, every time you get together, tells you all the things that she doesn’t like about you and that she hopes you will change. Would you want to spend time with that friend or open up to her?

Unfortunately, this is the basis of a lot of our interactions with our children, especially as they reach the teen years. We feel such great responsibility to teach them that we fail to see their progress and just focus on everything we want them to change.

Brooke Romney (a returning guest from Episode 19, “How to Be a Friend Instead of Just Being Friendly”) is an expert in prioritizing connection in our relationships. Today she’s going to be teaching us how to talk *with* our teenagers instead of *at* them:

  1. Lecture less and listen more. Concentrate on seeing their good and compliment them; get excited about the things they are excited about; validate what they are going through. 
  2. Elevate your conversation. Instead of asking, “How was your day?”, get comfortable with tackling real-world issues that feel relevant and important to them. 
  3. Hold the judgment (of them and others). When you show grace with the faults of others, your kids realize you’ll show grace with their faults as well.

Show Notes:

Brooke’s website: brookeromney.com

Check out Brooke’s weekly series “Teen Talk Tuesday” on her Instagram or Facebook: @brookeromneywrites 

My next “Declutter Your Motherhood” workshop tickets are live! I will be teaching with Mika Perry in Chandler, Arizona on September 21st. Go to 3in30podcast.com/arizona for all the details.  Early Bird pricing for the next two weeks only!

Hear me this week as a guest on Mika’s podcast: Good to Be Home.

About the Podcast Host, Rachel Nielson

Rachel taught high school English for five years before deciding to be a stay-at-home mom to her two miracle babies, Noah Atticus, who was adopted, and Sally Grace, who was conceived through IVF.

In her life, Rachel has experienced great sorrow but also great joy--and she loves diving deep into the topics that matter most. Thank you for listening to the podcast and giving her a chance to share her heart.

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