We’ve all heard the old saying, “Moms shouldn’t be allowed to get sick!” And it’s true–we shouldn’t! We need to take care of our families, and family life doesn’t just pause when Mom isn’t feeling well. It’s hard enough for the household to continue functioning for a week when Mom gets a bad cold or the flu, but when a mother faces chronic illness or pain, that can be a truly devastating trial.
I’ve personally had a taste of this because I was diagnosed with a chronic health condition several years ago, and the medication I take for it causes kidney stones. For me, the most difficult part is how discouraged I sometimes feel when I can’t care for my family in the way that I would like to.
Several months ago, in the midst of kidney stone pain, I reached out to Becky Farley and Candace Little, the founders of Mindful Art Company, and asked for their best tips on using mindfulness to cope with illness. They sent back the three takeaways that are the basis of our conversation today:
- Separate your pain from your suffering. Pain x Resistance = Suffering
- Allow pain to fix you. What is the pain telling you about what you or your body needs? Listen!
- Meditate. Tuning into your body instead of resisting it doesn’t necessarily take away the pain, but it makes it easier to deal with.
These three strategies have been so helpful to me as I’ve battled my own health problems the past year, and I hope they will help many mothers who are listening, as well.
–Meditation Art Kit or MAK Pack: 4 lessons, and with each lesson you get a meditation, a story, and an art project to create common emotional language with your kids. (And they are also super fun!) Use the code HALFOFF for 50% off any of their downloadable products this month!
–Self-Compassionate & Art Workshop in Salt Lake City on Saturday, June 15th. Use the code 3IN30 for $30 off.
Codes expire 5/31/19~
We are so grateful to Mindful Art Company for being a sponsor of the Declutter Your Motherhood Workshop in Utah!
The more I share my heart on this podcast, the more often people reach out to me and share their hearts and stories. And over the past year, many listeners have told me about their heartache over *not* being raised by a loving mother.
I’ve had listeners relay stories to me about mothers who were emotionally absent or even emotionally or physically abusive. These listeners confide in me what a sometimes overwhelming task it is to be a loving mother when you never really saw that modeled.
But these warrior mothers are doing all that they can to change the trajectory of that family pattern of parenting. To raise their own children with the love that they themselves were not given.
Today on the podcast, I have one of those warrior moms who’s going to share her insights on how to be a loving mother even if you weren’t raised by one. Sarah Badat-Richardson was born and raised in Reunion Island off the coast of South Africa, and she now lives in Hawaii. She’s a blogger and has also published articles on the website Power of Moms. She runs an international self-defense school with her husband, and she is a black belt in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. One of her greatest accomplishments is that she is the mother to a beautiful 9-year-old girl, and she works every day to overcome the difficult relationship she had with her own mother so she can become the mother she wants to be for her daughter.
Sarah shares some of her journey with us today, and her three insightful takeaways are:
- Accept your plight. Accept who your mother was or is, and accept that the way you were brought up is not your fault.
- Bring your healthiest self. Take care of your body through food, sleep, and nutrition, and take care of your soul by paying attention to your thoughts and words.
- Embrace who you are. Share your talents and passions with your children, and give yourself a pat on the back for every good thing you do.
Sarah’s blog: sarahbadatrichardson.com
Sarah’s essay she wrote in preparation for our interview: sarahbadatrichardson.com/how-to-be-a-good-mom-even-if-you-didnt-have-one
Will I Ever Be Good Enough? Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers by Dr. Karl McBride
Jody Moore’s podcast Better Than Happy
Sarah’s three favorite mothers in literature: 1. Ma from Little House on the Prarie, 2. Marmie from Little Women, 3. Jo from Little Men
Dr. Laura quote:
“You have two chances at a healthy parent-child relationship. The first time, you’re a child and you have no power. The second time, you’re the parent and you have all the power.”
Many thanks to our Declutter our Motherhood Workshop Sponsors!!
- Honey Coast Home–The first ten orders to use the code 3in30 get a free Lemon-Aid candle!
- Missy VanWagoner–20% off this week only if you email or DM Missy directly and tell her you heard about her on the 3in30! email@example.com, @missyvanwagoner on Instagram
- Simple and Blush Headscarves–20% off with the code 3in30
As mothers, this can be a hard stage of life to find and maintain meaningful friendships.
Many of us feel busy and overwhelmed–barely managing the needs of our own families.
Opportunities to connect with other women might feel scarce, depending on the ages and needs of our children.
Sometimes it’s just easier to give a friendly wave or a quick hello in the hallway at church than to invest in a real friendship with someone.
In this week’s episode, Brooke Romney, a mother of four and a professional writer, shares totally doable ways that we can be good friends to other women, even if we are busy, shy, or maxed out on life.
Brooke discusses each of the following takeaways, offering concrete ideas within each:
1) Take advantage of small opportunities to build connection by simply being present wherever we are.
2) Follow the advice that we give our children about being a good friend.
3) Don’t wait for life conditions to be perfect before extending friendship to others.
Don’t miss this conversation where we learn how to go beyond just being friendly, to start being real friends.
-Brooke’s website: brookeromney.com/
-Brooke’s article in the Deseret News: “It’s Time to Stop Being Friendly and Start Being a Friend”
-Rachel’s Instagram: @3in30podcast
-Brooke’s Instagram: @brookeromneywrites
Journaling has always been extremely important to me, but in the past year, as I’ve gotten super busy with the podcast, I have neglected this hobby that gives me joy and peace. I purposely chose this episode to air as an “encore” because I need the reminder of how important it is to reflect on and record the experiences we are having as mothers. I am recommitting to journaling, even in my busiest seasons!
The guest is my little sister, Laura Webb–a mother of two young children (with another due any day!) and a Chemistry and Math teacher. She does not consider herself a writer, but she is a diligent journal keeper, and in this episode, she shares her ideas for easy ways that we can fit record-keeping into our busy lives as moms.
Listen in as Laura details ideas for how to…
- Use technology to help us capture memories
- Find routine times or triggers to remind us to journal
- Remember that something is better than nothing when it comes to documenting our lives
What are your best ideas for keeping records of your motherhood experience? Please share them in the comments or on Instagram @3in30podcast. We want to learn from you!
How to Journal as a Busy Mom (Rachel’s article for Power of Moms)
A month or so ago, I woke up early, before the rest of the house, and lay in the darkness with my heart pounding uncomfortably. It was a physical reminder of something that I don’t like to think about very often: I have chronic health problems that aren’t just magically going to disappear if I ignore them. It is up to ME to change my life and my habits to regain my health. No one else is going to do that for me.
In this episode, I share a bit more of my story, as well as the three steps I am taking in order to give myself a month-long pause:
1) Choose a finite length of time for your break.
2) Look at your calendar and ruthlessly eliminate or postpone any stressful commitments during that time. Don’t be afraid to tell the people in your life WHY you need a break and how they can support you.
3) Decide how you will use your time off to “get ahead” of your life and make changes that will help you reenter your life in a much better place.
Please follow along with Rachel’s journey these next four weeks by subscribing to her weekly emails here: 3in30podcast.com/takeaways.
Also, please don’t forget to write a Review for the podcast if you haven’t already! Thank you so much for your support!