Teaching Values

089: When Should I Give My Teen a Cell Phone? // Andrea Davis of Better Screen Time

When I was a senior in high school, my parents got me my first cell phone so I could touch base with them if I was at after school activities or out with friends. This was not a big decision for them. My simple phone was harmless– it did not have the internet or even texting.

Oh how times have changed. Today, parents have to consider so many more factors before handing over a phone to their children, because with smartphones, teens can be exposed to cyber bullying, sexting, pornography, increased comparison with others, etc.

Today’s guest, Andrea Davis, is a mother of five and the founder of Better Screen Time. She is passionate about helping parents navigate technology. She does not want us to feel afraid but rather empowered with tools and know-how to make smart, safe decisions regarding technology within our families. Here are three takeaways to help us decide when to give our teens a smart phone:

  1. Find five parents who are just a few years ahead of you in parenting and ask them how they have handled technology and cell phones with their children.
  2. Work with your family to create healthy tech boundaries. It’s important to give our kids some ownership in our family technology plan and the opportunity to share their opinions and thoughts.
  3. Listen to your gut, but also listen to your teen. This will help them learn the “why” behind the decisions you make.

Show Notes

Andrea’s website: betterscreentime.com 
Andrea’s Instagram: @betterscreentime

Here are the great resources Andrea mentioned in the interview:

More helpful links:

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085: 3 Steps to Help Kids Rewire Difficult Behaviors (Encore!) // Chrissy Austin

As a follow up to our wonderful series with Katherine Reynolds Lewis  (click to listen to Part 1 and Part 2), I knew I wanted to re-air Episode 19 with Chrissy Austin, a speech language pathologist with 18 years of experience teaching children the skills they need to self-regulate.

All of our kids get stuck in behaviors that are difficult for us and others to deal with–perhaps it’s whining, interrupting, fighting with siblings, or defiance. According to Chrissty, these neurological “loops” can be rewired.  She does it every day in her private practice, and, in this week’s episode, she teaches us how to do it in our homes!  We can follow this simple three-step process with our kids:

1) Identify the specific troublesome behavior, and then ask yourself, “What SKILL does my child need to learn in order to change this behavior?”

2) Sit down with the child and make a GOAL to learn the new skill.  Have him or her make it visual by writing it down and/or drawing a picture.  Consider adding a hand cue.

3) Offer positive reinforcement through verbal praise whenever the child is working on their goal, and consider adding additional reinforcement through earning privileges, if needed.

Chrissy offers so many fantastic tips and interesting bits of research throughout the interview.  You won’t want to miss it, especially if you sometimes struggle with knowing how to help your children change.

Show Notes

Are you interested in starting or growing your podcast?? I am so excited to announce a project I’ve been working on for months with my dear friend and podcasting colleague, Monica Packer. (Drum roll please!) Announcing… Podcast University!

Our mission with Podcast U is to help heart-fueled women build podcasts that make a difference. We would love to help YOU build a podcast you will love. Please go to 3in30podcast.com/podcastu for more information.

And don’t forget, we are offering several FREE classes this month. Click here to sign up for a spot now! aboutprogress.com/freeclass

 

083: Are Kids Today Harder Than They Were In The Past? // Katherine Reynolds Lewis

There’s no question that parenting has been difficult for every generation– but has it always been this difficult? I’ll admit, my dreams of parenthood were idealized in many ways, but I often wonder if the day will ever come that my children actually stay in their seats at dinner long enough for good conversation and connection. I wonder if their big emotions and high energy will continue to affect our everyday lives, or if we will be able to have memorable outings that don’t require quite so much emotional energy with managing expectations and refereeing.

Katherine Reynolds Lewis,  an award-winning journalist and certified parent educator, had the same questions as she raised her own strong-willed children. The more she looked around at other parents and children, the more she realized that she wasn’t alone–kids today just seemed to be harder, even though parents devote more time and energy to their children than in any other generation.

This seeming epidemic of strong-willed kids with difficult behavior is the reason that she embarked on writing her book, The Good News About Bad Behavior– Why Kids Are Less Disciplined Than Ever and What to Do About It.

After years of incredibly detailed research, Katherine found there are three overarching reasons why  kids today have less ability to regulate their emotions, thoughts, and behaviors:

  1. The decline in unstructured play and outdoor time.
  2. The growth of media and technology .
  3. The increased focus on achievement and performance, instead of character and contribution.

In this episode, Katherine unpacks each of these areas and gives suggestions for what we as modern parents can do about it.

And don’t forget to come back next week for part two of this super interesting discussion!

Show Notes

Katherine’s website: katherinerlewis.com
Katherine’s Instagram: @katherinereynoldslewis
Katherine’s book: The Good News About Bad Behavior: Why Kids Are Less Disciplined Than Ever– and What To Do About It 

We are so grateful for our 3 in 30 Sponsors! Thanks to Jill from j-coterie.com, our fifth and final sponsor from my Declutter Your Motherhood Workshop in Utah.
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056: How to Raise a Polite Teenager // Devon Wellington, Psychologist and Cotillion Director

3 Takeaways for Teaching Teens to be Polite

Do you ever worry that your children, who are growing up in the era of the smartphone, aren’t going to know how to look someone in the eye, have a genuine conversation with them, and display respect and courtesy?

I know that I worry about this a lot!  But today’s guest, Devon Wellington–a mother, a developmental psychologist, and the co-director of the Northern Virginia Chapters of the National League of Junior Cotillions–assures us that there is a lot we can do as mothers to teach our children these essential life skills.

In this episode, Devon shares strategies for how to teach our teenagers…

  1. How to show appreciation
  2. How to make a proper introduction
  3. How to be present where you are

This is a fascinating episode with many practical gems–don’t miss it.

Show Notes

Devon’s Instagram account: https://www.instagram.com/etiquette_and_class/

Devon’s Cotillion website: https://nljc.com/n/index.php/chapters/northernvirginiachapters/group

‘On Being’ with Krista Tippett and Greg Boyle: https://onbeing.org/programs/greg-boyle-the-calling-of-delight-gangs-service-and-kinship-nov2017/

**Join our community on Instagram!  Each week, I post content that relates to the most recent episode, and it’s where I get to engage with listeners.  I love it, and I’d love to meet you over there! https://www.instagram.com/3in30podcast/

051: How (and Why) to Get Involved in the Political Process as a Mom // Lacey Parr

Podcast about 3 simple ways to get involved in the political process

This episode  couldn’t come at a better time. Lacey Parr, mother of three and devoted community-builder, reminds us that politics doesn’t have to be contentious–it can be about advocating with love for the issues that are the most important to us.

In this interview, Lacey teaches mothers…

*how to get involved in local government and policy in small but significant ways

*how to become a more balanced consumer of news

*where to start if we are passionate about a subject

*why busy mothers should even care–and how to bring our children along with us

…and much more!

Don’t miss this important episode.  And don’t forget to register to vote!  Mid-term elections are coming up.

Show Notes

Media Bias Chart: https://www.adfontesmedia.com/the-chart-version-3-0-what-exactly-are-we-reading/

Find out more about how to vote in your area: https://www.vote.org/